Language of Letting Go - April 7
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Language of Letting Go - April 7
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Those Old Time Feelings
I still have bad days. But that's okay. I used to have bad years.
--Anonymous
Sometimes, the old feelings creep back in. We may feel fearful, ashamed, and hopeless. We may feel not good enough, unlovable, victimized, helpless, and resentful about it all. This is codependency, a condition some describe as soul sickness.
Many of us felt this way when we began recovery. Sometimes, we slip back into these feelings after we've begun recovery. Sometimes there's a reason. An event may trigger these reactions, such as ending a relationship, stress, problems on the job, at home, or in friendships. Times of change can trigger these reactions. So can physical illness.
Sometimes, these feelings return for no reason.
A return to the old feelings doesn't mean were back to square one in our recovery. They do not mean we've failed at recovery. They do not mean were in for a long, painful session of feeling badly. They just are there.
The solution is the same: practicing the basics. Some of the basics are loving and trusting our self, detachment, dealing with feelings, giving and receiving support in the recovery community, using our affirmations, and having fun.
Another basic is working the Steps. Often, working the Steps is how we become enabled and empowered to practice the other basics, such as detachment and self-love.
If the old feelings come back, know for certain there is a way out that will work.
Today, if I find myself in the dark pit of codependency, I will work a Step to help myself climb out.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Those Old Time Feelings
I still have bad days. But that's okay. I used to have bad years.
--Anonymous
Sometimes, the old feelings creep back in. We may feel fearful, ashamed, and hopeless. We may feel not good enough, unlovable, victimized, helpless, and resentful about it all. This is codependency, a condition some describe as soul sickness.
Many of us felt this way when we began recovery. Sometimes, we slip back into these feelings after we've begun recovery. Sometimes there's a reason. An event may trigger these reactions, such as ending a relationship, stress, problems on the job, at home, or in friendships. Times of change can trigger these reactions. So can physical illness.
Sometimes, these feelings return for no reason.
A return to the old feelings doesn't mean were back to square one in our recovery. They do not mean we've failed at recovery. They do not mean were in for a long, painful session of feeling badly. They just are there.
The solution is the same: practicing the basics. Some of the basics are loving and trusting our self, detachment, dealing with feelings, giving and receiving support in the recovery community, using our affirmations, and having fun.
Another basic is working the Steps. Often, working the Steps is how we become enabled and empowered to practice the other basics, such as detachment and self-love.
If the old feelings come back, know for certain there is a way out that will work.
Today, if I find myself in the dark pit of codependency, I will work a Step to help myself climb out.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Another basic is working the Steps. Often, working the Steps is how we become enabled and empowered to practice the other basics, such as detachment and self-love.
If you can get to a live meeting, please do yourself a huge favour and go, go to several until you find yourself comfortable and excited about the program. And if you cannot get to meetings, perhaps buy Melody Beattie's book "Codependents Guide to the Twelve Steps". And take your time. There is no rush to get through the steps. What is more important is to learn to live the steps every day in your life and find peace.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: somewhere nj
Posts: 23
Ann,
I really needed to hear this today. Last night I pulled out the "Codependents Twelve Steps" & step 2 & 3 really spoke to me-let go and turn it over to God. Sometimes it is so amazing how far I have come, yet forget something so basic in recovery. That book was my lifesaver 2 years ago, yet I haven't read it in about a year. Thanks for reminding me of the basics in recovery-working the steps.
I guess I really needed to hear this message today.
Thanks for all your inspiration.
Sandi
I really needed to hear this today. Last night I pulled out the "Codependents Twelve Steps" & step 2 & 3 really spoke to me-let go and turn it over to God. Sometimes it is so amazing how far I have come, yet forget something so basic in recovery. That book was my lifesaver 2 years ago, yet I haven't read it in about a year. Thanks for reminding me of the basics in recovery-working the steps.
I guess I really needed to hear this message today.
Thanks for all your inspiration.
Sandi
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
my counselor gave me the book the last time i was in rehab while i was working on step 4-5 and it was huge eye opener for me, the steps have become a part of my everyday life too. i'm so glad that i had someboby to walk me through them when they did. thanks for the reminder. i'm with ann, if you have started working them, now is a good time to start. they helped me so much.
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