Hello, I'm new!
YogaMama
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: La Crosse, WI
Posts: 1
Hello, I'm new!
HI. Well, I'm not quite sure how to introduce myself here, I've never done this before. Perhaps starting with my basic story?
I am not an alcoholic or a substance abuser,but I just found out that my husband of nearly ten years is an alcoholic.
Last week, he got a DUI on his way to work. He was still drunk from the night before. I was with him all night and really believed him when he said that he only had one beer and he wasn't lying to me, he really did have one beer, he just washed it down with 1 1/2 pints of vodka.
Two days ago he told me that he has been secretly drinking for two years. He said he has been out of control for the past six months drinking at least a pint of hard liquor everyday. I think that he has not had a drink for about a week and he is having symptoms of withdrawl-insomnia, headaches,shaking, convulsions.
I don't know what my next step should be.
All of the things he's done over the past years now suddenly make much more sense- the problems in our relationship, financial problems, etc. I feel like I should have recognized all of the signs that were just staring me in the face, but I didn't.
I don't know what would help him the most- I don't think he has hit "rock bottom"...do I let him do this? Do I stay with him and support him?
He does want to get help and we both haveappointments with a counselor specializing in addictions, but it isn't for a month. He called our family doctor and got a prescription for Anabuse and I don't know if this is the thing either.
I know every situation is different but I would like to hear from people who are being successful at staying sober and what helped them the most during this initial time of admitting the problem and seeking help.
I am not an alcoholic or a substance abuser,but I just found out that my husband of nearly ten years is an alcoholic.
Last week, he got a DUI on his way to work. He was still drunk from the night before. I was with him all night and really believed him when he said that he only had one beer and he wasn't lying to me, he really did have one beer, he just washed it down with 1 1/2 pints of vodka.
Two days ago he told me that he has been secretly drinking for two years. He said he has been out of control for the past six months drinking at least a pint of hard liquor everyday. I think that he has not had a drink for about a week and he is having symptoms of withdrawl-insomnia, headaches,shaking, convulsions.
I don't know what my next step should be.
All of the things he's done over the past years now suddenly make much more sense- the problems in our relationship, financial problems, etc. I feel like I should have recognized all of the signs that were just staring me in the face, but I didn't.
I don't know what would help him the most- I don't think he has hit "rock bottom"...do I let him do this? Do I stay with him and support him?
He does want to get help and we both haveappointments with a counselor specializing in addictions, but it isn't for a month. He called our family doctor and got a prescription for Anabuse and I don't know if this is the thing either.
I know every situation is different but I would like to hear from people who are being successful at staying sober and what helped them the most during this initial time of admitting the problem and seeking help.
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
welcome, yogamama - i have a daughter in her first year of recovery from alcohol and cocaine addiction. i go to alanon and private counseling, both really help me.
it's great that you and your husband are reaching out to professionals for help and guidance - excellent first steps!
remember this about your husband's disease - you didn't cause it, you can't cure it, and you can't control it. those are the 3 c's of alanon. and there's a 4th and it has to do with choices. you have choices as to how you let your husband's disease affect your life.
i didn't "see it" either with my daughter, until she admitted her problem. i guess we just see what we want to see, it's part of denial? plus, folks with addiction are good at hiding it, it's part of the disease.
keep posting! k
it's great that you and your husband are reaching out to professionals for help and guidance - excellent first steps!
remember this about your husband's disease - you didn't cause it, you can't cure it, and you can't control it. those are the 3 c's of alanon. and there's a 4th and it has to do with choices. you have choices as to how you let your husband's disease affect your life.
i didn't "see it" either with my daughter, until she admitted her problem. i guess we just see what we want to see, it's part of denial? plus, folks with addiction are good at hiding it, it's part of the disease.
keep posting! k
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi and Welcome,
It sounds like your husband is seeking help for his problem, which is a good first step.
You might like to check out the Friends and Families forums on this board where you'll find lots of support.
It sounds like your husband is seeking help for his problem, which is a good first step.
You might like to check out the Friends and Families forums on this board where you'll find lots of support.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
If I could have quit all on my own, I would have done so, decades ago.
Alcoholism is a disease (if he is an alcoholic)
If so, suggest you treat it like one.
AA saved my life, but do some sort of formal recovery.
Ala-non is an AWESOME support group, where I have found, EVERYBODY CAN GROW!
They teach the 3 C's:
I did not cause it.
I cannot control it.
I can not cure it.
Detach with love!
Great you are here!!!
Tom
Alcoholism is a disease (if he is an alcoholic)
If so, suggest you treat it like one.
AA saved my life, but do some sort of formal recovery.
Ala-non is an AWESOME support group, where I have found, EVERYBODY CAN GROW!
They teach the 3 C's:
I did not cause it.
I cannot control it.
I can not cure it.
Detach with love!
Great you are here!!!
Tom
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 3
yoga mama, I am a nursing Supervisor in a drug and alcohol treatment facility, and I can tell you that if he is ready for help, treatment is the best way to go. Just going on medication isn't enough. And if he does decide to take anabuse and then drink he will go into immediate withdrawals. Further more, he needs to learn how to live life without the alcohol and he needs to understand and deal with the symptoms. This means that there was a reason for him to start drinking and it wasn't just because the alcohol tasted good. There is something deeper than that going on. He needs to figure that out and work on resolving that problem. Good luck
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
I think that he has not had a drink for about a week and he is having symptoms of withdrawl-insomnia, headaches,shaking, convulsions.
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