prettywoman

Hello ..........last night was awful for me. My x called me and he threatend me by saying things like he will take my babies away from me when they are born. He told me I was psycho and if I am lucky I may get visitations every once in a while.. Now he found a 19 girl that he says he loves after meeting her online never in person 2 month ago. She lives in another state. Somehow this girl got my e mail and send me a very nasty letter saying things like I am just jelous that he wants a younger and prettier girl and I need to deal with it. Can you believe this ? Some 19 year old tells me to deal with it? She did not even know I was pregnant with twins. He lied to her about that. My x has been wanting to make things work out while he was talking to her and someone else at the same time. What kind of game is he playing now? It seems like he is getting worse by the day. I am not worried about him being with someone else that is fine with me so why does he call me still? Last night he really scared me. He said he stopped drinking yet he was drunk when he called me. Nothing I say is believed by him well that is to be expected. He blames me for everything even down to him thinking I hacking in his computer and such. What a thing to even think, don't know the 1st thing about hacking . I know this is all isanity on his part and I must continue to stay focused on me. I have had a nice serenity and than he calls again. He knows he lies about al of this. Somewhere inside he has to know what he is doing is just awful. I deleted all my e mail addys and opened new ones up. My phone is on message service because I do not intend to answer a call from him. I have done well to get him out of my life one day at a time and I know that I have not helped matters by agreeing to see him last week. Why does he go around telling these strange girls I am a psycho? Is it to make him feel better ? Any input on all of this? I admit I should never have spoken to this girl but I was tired of it and wanted the truth about this. Any input?

Gabe

and the game they all play best is "It's All Your Fault". He's trying to play you against the "other woman" and her against you. This works just dandy for people who refuse to look at their own problematic behavior. I'm sorry he is still bothering you, it sounds like you are doing a great job trying to live your own life and maintain your own serenity. Big hugs to you and the twins.
Peace,
Gabe

margo

Hey Prettywoman - good to hear from you. I'm not trying to make light of what you say, but can you say QUACK? Sounds like duck-speak to me.

Take a deep breath and relax. If you think about it, the chances of your ex getting custody of your babies is zilch. He can't play this game with you by himself - let him play with his new girlfriend instead. You don't have to participate - heck, you don't even need to let this take up space in your head. It's just a lot of hot air that really means nothing except the fact that it's upsetting you. Maybe investing in call screening would be worth it - that way you don't have to take the calls if you see his number. Of course, he can always call from another phone, but you still have your answering service for backup. Try not to let him rob you of your serenity - you've paid for a price for it.

Oh, and your question about is he doing this to make himself feel better? Most likely, yes. I believe it's a pretty common game that they play - one I find myself on the end of quite a lot.

Hugs to you, Prettywoman - you're doing good - keep going!

prettywoman

It has not been easy. I am going through a high risk pregnancy and all he does is worry about the next girl already. Not one time does he ask how we are...or do we need anything. It is a shame but what am I dealing with here? Yes I know. I worked very hard to maintain my sanity through all of this. I do have caller ID and when the phone rings at 2 A.M. I just sometimes grab it and do not look at it and answer it. Last night was really scary. I know better yes but at the same time I never heard him say those things to me. The reason I am not worried about someone else is because he is dysfunctional and there is no way in heaven that he will maintain a healthy relationship unless he gets some help. To do that he would have to admit there is a problem and he has not done this yet. All I can say is, she is next just as I was next to someone else before. I pray each day for him that God will grab him and shine the light upon him, that is al I can do. I must admit that getting that e mail from that little girl ticked me of like how dare she you know? I know all of this is ill behavior and I just have to keep reminding myself at times like this. He has turned everyone against me even his family, I am having their first grandchildren and not one time have I heard from them, well no wonder with him manipulating it all. I know that God is in control here and that is all that matters, it just doesen't make the pain go away fast enough for me......I thank you guys for all your input because I sure need it tonight.

journeygal

Hi Prettywoman - is changing your phone to an unlisted number an option? Also, have you been saving the emails and phone messages? Maybe they could be used as evidence of harassment should you need it one day. I would document everything he says and does, his little girlfriend too. Custody is not an issue - he won't get it, plus he'll end up having to pay child support.

You don't need this stress right now - you have those precious babies to think about! Do what you can to limit and avoid contact with the x.

Hugs,
JG

prettywoman

Yes I saved all the e-mails and printed them out after I got a new e mail addy. Changing my number is an option I will use in the next week or so for now I let my voicemail answer all calls. What makes it sad is that I love him and keep praying that some day he will see the light. I am learning to fallout of love with him one day at a time. And it hurts.....He keeps saying he wants to be a part of the babies life.............but does it not start now? How will he bahve when they are there ? the same ? If he can care less now why should he care later ? It is just a mess.

Dutchie63

Hi wow what a scary situation you are in. Cover your basis I would like to suggest. Maybe also get a restraining order? Good luck with everything, and we are here if you need to vent.
Marion

lyn_blossom78

Being woke up at 2:00 a.m. must have been a jolt--let alone to have him tell you he'll try to take the babies away. If he wants you back, I'd say he has a weird way of showing it! He won't get them--so don't worry.

From experience, I found out that phone harrassment is a bigger crime than harrassing in person--so keep that in mind. You could easily turn this over to the police, if necessary.

I can't believe he called you while he was drunk, and told you he had quit drinking! :p Goes to show they can't tell when they are drunk!

Hope your day goes better! Take care of yourself and your babies. (When did you say they are due?)

Lyn

Live

Hugs to you! I have been following your story and you are a strong beautiful lady!!!

I don't want my ex back but the next girlfriend thing still bothers me too. I don't know why. I guess it is hard for me to understand the lies I wanted to believe and based so much on. I get mad at her for believing him???? Yeah, well, so did I. But I also understand you know that you are pregnant and she knows nothing of it. I feel that way too. I'd been through it for 5 years and she steps right up knowing that is my stuff in the house??!!

I got trampled on. You have been and are being trampled on.
It hurts.

But this too shall pass!!???

Take care of yourself! You are worth so much more than that, you are worth respect and love and trust and nurturing and the whole ball of wax.!

love,
live

prettywoman

Well to tell you the truth, that he has someone new especially a 19 year old does not bother me a bit. Why ? because until he gets help, he will not be able to have a healthy relationship with anyone, that I know for sure. His true self or I should say ill self will always show sooner or later. Another reason why it does not bother me is that his attention is of me. I do not ever want him in my life again not as sick as he is. I mean think about this, instead of working on our relationship and foremost on himself and doing everything he can to be a supportive father he gets on the internet "looking" for females, that is how he spends his time. Then he says he loves this little girl 19........been talking to her for 2 month .......he does not know what love is period! How can he!?So I say good riddens!! I am happy he has someone else and I hope he stays with her because that is how he stays away from me and that is what I want! I am having a lot of problems with my pregnancy and it has been a struggle. NOT ONE TIME has that man ever called me and asked me how WE are doing! So now, I have disapeared out of his life, he doesen't know it yet because it has only been 1 week. When I don't speak to him for 2-3 he will get the hint. He does call me I see his number on my called id but he does not leave messages. Don;t get me wrong, yes I do love him and I always will.....I just don't want him in my life anymore. He has done some awful things and that I won't ever forget. I think the worst of it was that he calls me a "psycho" and he has convinced his family of this and THAT is so sad because they will miss out on their 1st grand children because of it. Noone in the family has contacted me at all just to see how I am doing. His aunt used to call me and she stopped to........guess he got to her to. As long as I know God knows the truth that is really all that matters.Getting away from him was the best I ever did. I have serenity now. I do miss him, the healthy him. Am I waiting on a miracle in regards to him and getting help ? no I do not wait anymore but Ipray for him and know God is in control.

prettywoman

I wanted to share this with you......this girl actually e-mailed me. How she got my email I can only guess. She said to me and I quote" This is how it is going to be, I love him and he loves me. You are jelous because he loves a younger and much prettier girl. you are a psycho. Deal with it!" end quote. I blocked her out and did not answer this childs letter. Allthough my sister had something to say to her and I am sure it was not pretty. I am sooooooooooooooooooo glad I am out of this drama! I am a beautiful woman I am blessed with looks and smarts so I am not sure what a little 19 year old thinks she has that could posibly compare to me . She is dumb but will soon find out! I feel sorry for her in many ways.

Live

WOW!!!!!!

Keep on keeping on! You are right, you do have it going on...let it be a lesson to me!

Blessings to you as you travel that higher path!!!!!

regards!

live