Alive

Hi.I found out that my problem of addiction is because of the lack of self love in me.
I am always thinking how do i find self love when i don't have it?
How do i start from scratch and start loving myself when i don't have it in me?
I believe in God, maybe that's the only way, being that i don't seem to do nothing good with myself....
Has anybody felt this before and how did you guys found respect for yourselves that allowed you to get sober?

miss communicat

Hi Karim....

Welcome!

Its funny. I have recently begun to actually feel true self-love. Prior to this, any concept of self love was just a concept...in my head, but not my heart.

In fact, often self-centerdness and selfishness masqueraded as self love.

What has changed for me that I believe are the cause of my transformation are:

1. I am sober
2. I practice daily becoming grateful for an infinite number of reasons
3. I joined the fellowship of AA and stayed for the last year and a half. I am learning through fellowship with others how to dropp my defenses and how to accept and love others.
4. I connect with my faith in spirit daily and feel that to not love myself is an insult to the creator of this wonderful universe, of which I am a part.

Nuudawn

Love is not simply a feeling...it is an action and a commitment. Early on in my sobriety I finally figured out the concept that made sense to me. I had no clue what self love was. I figured I liked myself well enough. Love is very much about the care and choices you make for yourself. Choosing sobriety is an act of self love as is shushing the negative and critical self judging thoughts that plague me. Self love is about caring for yourself with your actions and decision...eating right, getting exercise, not letting people disrespect you, doing what's right for you rather than what you think others want or expect you to do, taking interest in your self and passions, getting enough sleep, letting go of toxic relationships or work environments. It about choices and action. It's a decision and a committment..just like real love. You take "care" of yourself. It was quite an epiphany for me. I reallly and truly thought it was just a feeling within. That has also been my problem with love in general...I thought it was dependent on the way I "felt"...uh uh. Love is not doing the easiest thing..it's facing up to fear and working through darkness and hard times...it means to stay with yourself..or to stay with others. It's really quite amazing.

Aysha

What nudawn said. But for me. My addiction is what made me not like myself. But really it was my actions fom my addiction I didnt like. But with my new found sobriety. And it is very new. The fog is clearing and I see that I am worth it. With the support of my family and others like on this board. I see I am worth it. You must let go of past regret and resentment and move forward to a better tomorrow. As for others ..Only you can let someone keep you down. It's in you to love yourself. Because if you cant love yourself how will anyone else? You are important and You are worth it. Please believe that.
The miracle starts within you. I wish you all the best hun. glad you are here.

Surlyredhead

I didn't love myself right away....first, I stopped hating myself, then came acceptance, then like...then love. It was a process, like healing for me. It will come.....give yourself a chance...you might like who you see in the mirror before you know it!!!!

scootinbabe

great thread! lots of wisdom here and i really can't add too much. keep searching, you are asking the right questions!

Alive

thank you all for your posts. This is my moment to say: Today i start my journey for self love, discovering the real me.It's an amazing reason to stay sober.

parentrecovers

it's nice to meet you, karim - please keep posting! k