kj21

Hi, My AH was to enter detox on Sunday in a town 2 hours away. I just found out he didn't check in. they told me he had a new check in date of last night at 10:30pm. He still has not checked in. I did talk to him yesterday afternoon after I texted him that I know he hadn't checked in the first time. He called me and was full of anger. He was mad at himself he didn't want to be like this anymore he just sounded so frustrated. He said he just wanted to get this started. He had 2 horrible days and didn't want any one to know he missed check in becouse no one believes him anymore any way so why try to explain aanything anymore. It was a horrible call. we both hung up feeling frutrated with our lives. He also had forgotted that it was my birthday yesterday. I know what hotel he said he was staying in and alled there this morning but no answer in his room. no response on his cell. He could be sleeping? this is the worst it has ever been!!! He has only been out of cantact before for 12 hours. thanks for lettting me vent...I am scared.

cinderellawkids

I am sorry and I know your scared. Sadly there is nothing you can do. He has to do it. This may be the bottom he needs to get into treatment and let himself begin to recover.

Remember you are powerless over his problem. Give it to your higher power and try to do something for you

parentrecovers

prayers to you, kj. it's very difficult to watch these things unfold, i understand that. take good care of yourself. remember - you didn't cause it, you can't cure it, and there's nothing you can do to control it.

blessings, k

WantsOut

kj, what can you do for yourself today? Go out for a cup of coffee and some toast? Take an elaborate bubble bath? Go get an ice cream at lunch?

He is beyond your control and beyond your help. He needs to find his own way. Please do some good things for you and let him go if only just for the rest of today. Worry never helped anyone.

teke

sorry kj, i agree with the others, there is nothing you can do other that focus on you and what will you do for you and your life. i know how frustrating it is for you and your husband, but unless he makes the decision to go ahead and check in somewhere, that tells me that maybe he's not truly ready yet, but he sounds like he is close. stick to your boundaries and focus more on you, and less on him and what he is to do for himself. sorry that this is happening and i pray that things will work out and that your husband finds his way soon. keeping you and your in my prayers.

GiveLove

KJ,

You are NOT helpless.

You have power over your own life. He is responsible for his own life.

Turn the focus back to you and let his higher power take the reins for his behavior. You are driving yourself crazy trying to control something You. Cannot. Control.

What's one small way you could turn your focus back to you today?

GL

dollydo

You hold all the power, for you, for your future...no matter how hard you try to relinqish it, it is yours to have and hold.

So he is out on binge, that is his choice, not yours...worrying about him and what he is doing will not help He will do what he wants to do.

No matter how hard we try, we codies can only control one person us, our behaviors, our feelings our future.

Addiction is a progressive disease, he will be out longer the next time, unless he hops on the recovery train, for him, not you.

Go on with your life, worrying and obsessing only hurts you, it serves no useful, positive purpose.

Turn this negative into a positive for you, let go and turn him over to the HP.