rose

I am not in a relationship, but it is now coming on 4 years that my husband left. I really feel that want for a companion. I have a friend but it is not enough and I am finding it a bit hard because I have really fallen for him. He is very independant, self employed and that is the top of his list. I want to be included in his life but it seems there is this wall of only getting so close. I to have a wall up that will not show my true feelings, so afraid of rejection.

I don't know if I am being taken by him, for when he wants to see me or if it is the wall that I have up that he doesn't push it. Or am I just reading into something that is not even there.

This sucks!

Rose

nogard

I am not the best person to give relationship advice, but if it where me I would tell myself to be patient with myself and with him as there is no time limit, so just see how it goes and enjoy the friendship on the way.

Kevin

Ann

Rose, can you talk openly with this friend and just ask where his feelings are? I am presuming you have dated casually, yes?

At the risk of sounding like my mother, Rose, my thoughts are that the man who would be worthy of you would be the kind of man who would know what a treasure he was getting and would treat you like a queen. There would be no guesswork, you would just "know".

Then again, I haven't dated in a very long time (my husband would not approve, lol), and I may be way off target on how it is done today.

Hugs

dollydo

Rose,

He sounds like a reasonable man, sit down with him and express your feelings about the "wall". I would ask him if he sees that wall around you, and does he have any suggestions on how to remove it. It will give him a chance to open up, and not make you uncomfortable. The conversation may tell you what you need to know.

I just started a relationship two months ago. Ex has been gone for a year, I waited until I was ready, didn't persue anyone, just did my normal things.
Loh and behold, this guy walks in at work, comes back, asks me out for lunch, and onward we go. Nothing serious on my part, but I am having fun.
And, to think, all I was doing is standing at the counter and smiling, who would have guessed, someone is interested in ole' Dolly.

Hugs,
Dolly

outonalimb

Rose,

I haven't ventured out in to the dating world yet so I don't have alot of practical experience to share. But I do know that you are one beautiful, loving, strong, compassionate, and sweet woman. You are a catch, Rose. Just believe in yourself and eventually you will find someone worthy of your love.

rose

I guess where my fear is, we have been friends for many years over 20. I never saw him in this light before. Yes Ann I would call it dating, but I don't know if that is what he would call it. I am afraid to open up to this conversation in the event that it ruined the friendship.

What I do know is that he is very independand, was very hurt in a marriage over 10 years ago and has never allowed himself again to get close to anyone.

But he sure did give me support when this all happened with my husband, they/we were all friends and was blown away with the whole mess as well.

I guess the brightside of this is I know inside myself I have moved on passed my exah, that door is shut and deadbolted.

Rose

teke

i think bluegirl has a good idea, maybe you can just let time work this out while you just enjoy the ride. whats the rush. have fun and let what happen happen. i think you'll know in time, what you need to do or say. i say let it flow naturally. still praying for you.