thejunkyswife

My husband is my addict. He is 28 days clean from heroin, and he's recently (finally) feeling better and seeming pretty strong. This weekend, he wanted to get out of the house--after quitting heroin cold turkey, he'd been really sick for almost the entire month, and he hadn't been working. I agreed that it would be good for us to get out, and so we went to a friend's house to watch some movies. The guy we were visiting was drinking some bourbon, and my husband had a glass. He's never had a problem with alcohol...in the 8 years we've known one another, I've only seen him drunk once or twice, and he was a bartender for about 5 of those years. We knew each other during college, and when everyone else drank heavily, he never did. Because of his recent status of being clean, the drinking worried me, and I wanted to know what other folks think about opiate addicts drinking while in recovery.

He didn't get drunk, and he sipped on 2 bourbons over the course of several hours. Part of me feels like I'm overreacting by even posting this, but part of me worries...I am less concerned that his addictive tendencies may start to seek a new outlet in alcohol, as I think his addictive propensity is pretty much localized in the opiate land...however, I'm afraid that occasional casual drinking, especially while he is so new in recovery, might lead weaken him and make him think that he can just use one time...when OF COURSE HE CAN'T JUST USE ONE TIME!

Please let me know what you guys think...I also know that I'm crossing lines by worrying, but I'd like to be informed of other's opinions and know what I should advise my husband to do if he ever brings it up.

teke

i'm a recovering addict too and in my opinion, he's playing with fire. alcohol is a drug and drug swappind don't usually work, usually drinking will lead back to the drug of choice, and that does not qualify as recovery work. sorry

now that thats said, i think that its time for you to focus more on you and what you are to do, if your husband decided that he wants to continue drinking until he finds out that maybe he's powerless over that too. addiction is very progressive, and it does get so much worse. take care of yourself. keeping you and yours in my prayers.

dollydo

All I can say is that my ex-abf tried to use alcohol as a bandaid, so that he wouldn't do coke...well, how did that work, it didn't...he drank more and more and then became cross addicted. And, he was one nasty drunk.

To me, drinking is a no no for a recovering addict.

Work on you, we are here for you.

joesentme

I don't see how anyone can consider an addict "in recovery" if their drinking.

faith123

I have to tell you, alcohol has only been a trigger for my ABF. He tried to use alcohol to help him stay off crack, but it would only work for a few days. The drinking got pretty bad, and after about a week of the alcohol, he had to go to the crackhouse. It was only buying time. Sounds like your guy needs to get going with his meeting full force.

cece1960

My son drinks...so far responsibly and legally.
It also scared me early on in his battle to quit heroin.

Most would agree that its not "recovery" like, or that a drug is a drug.
I warned my son that regardless of the reason, and regardless of the substance, if his behavior returned to what it was, he would have to think of a plan "B" or leave my home.

I really don't care what its called, what the principle of the matter is or whether its "using" or not. I care about the result...his behavior, and the danger it entails for he and my family.

So...I eventually jumped down from my soapbox and let him handle his "recovery".

We can only control that which affects us, but making our own decisions regarding what we will accept in our lives.

The rest is up to them

(((hugs)))
Cece

tropikgal2

Wife: I am in the same boat as you. My husbands DOC is heroin. He never had a problem with alcohol. He can drink only one or two beers and be fine/satisifed with that. He has been clean from opiates of any kind now for 47 days and has been able to have a beer without any repercussions. He was on Naltrexone when he first got out of detox and couldn't drink anyways. I think it depends on the person. Of course, I am on "high alert" when he has a beer or two, (which has only been a couple times) but so far no problem. Who knows about the future though.

caughtinthemid

I was just talking to my RAS this weekend about this very thing! When he first quit heroin, he was having strong cravings for coke, which he never really used before. He told me it was common for addicts to relapse on something that wasn't their DOC because their mind tells them they haven't had a problem with that substance before.

I agree with everyone else, I hope you find peace within yourself and I hope things work out well with you and your husband. This is a difficult time for both of you.

funkzter

Hi there,

Well i have been wondering the same thing as you for a while now...and still have no straight answers. My boyfriend is also a heroin addict and i have been with him for 7 years. During that time i never saw him drunk and i know drinking is not his "thing". He can drink a beer or two once in a while but that's it. If he does more then i'll worry. Until then i'm thinking it won't make a big difference: if he wants to use again, he'll do it eventually -with or without drinking.

That's just my thoughts.

xox
Carine

ps: it does seem like, from reading answers here, there is different patern depending DOC, no?

tropikgal2

Yeah, I agree with Funkzter, some DOC's seem to lead easily to other kinds of addicitons and some don't. Like the coke/porn thing. I've also heard about that with meth. Seems like the CNS stimulating drugs have more cross-addictions than the depressing drugs.
Each drug has a different molecular structure that affects the brain differently in some ways, but then also stimulates a "common area". (my B.S. is in Biology/Chemistry). All drugs that create dependency start out as derivatives of plant alkaloids. The pharmaceutically-created drugs that create dependence are formulated to mimic the molecular structures of naturally occuring alkaloids, and may use isolates of the original alkaloid. That's why people get "hooked" so quickly on alkaloid-based drugs (they work synergistically with the brain), but with alcohol (which is fermented or distilled grain) it takes a while of continued use to get addicted, particularly due to the side-effects (hangover).
Also, I have known people in my lifetime who smoke pot, but don't touch alcohol or any other drug.

thejunkyswife

Thank you all! It's been so helpful hearing your thoughts...even when they contradict one another, it helps me get outside my own head, my own projections, and my own fears.

DISTRESSED WIFE

NA meetings always tell the addict drinking is not acceptable-it is a replacement for the high. Even if it starts with 1 beer, eventually it will become addictive. They are addicts-nothing is done in moderation. It may start that way, but eventually they have addictive personalities that will prevail. My exAH was an alcoholic for years before recovery, then about 10 years into recovery, started pills, wound up addicted to oxy's & drinking. It is just replacing one high with another-it seems so innocent because it is alcohol, but becomes just as scary as drugs.

This is just my opinion.
I will pray that you & him find peace & serenity.

Ann

Almost every alcoholic I know thinks that they can smoke pot and almost every addict I know, thinks they can drink. Both are rarely the case because a drug is a drug and alcohol is a drug too, and eventually it takes them back to their drug of choice.

My prayers go out for him and I hope he finds a better path of complete sobriety soon.

Hugs

lil516

my experience with my RAS is that drug swapping doesn't work

an addict has the potential for becoming addicted...from all I've heard and witnessed (here and at meetings) the new substance will either be a trigger leading back to DOC or will become a substitute for the DOC

sit at any open AA or NA meeting and you will hear recovering addicts telling it like it is...never have I heard approval of switching your poison

daisylady

My AH's DOC is cocaine. He began drinking socially as soon as he completed outpatient rehab last year... it worked for a while but it didn't take long before he went back to his DOC. Drinking lowered his inhabitions and he just ultimately went back to the coke. Then he decided that if he didn't drink he woudn't do coke but them strated smoking weed. Again, he went right back to Coke... Now, he is headed to treatment again, this time it is impatient.

My opinion is that if you are an addict, you will always be an addict. You may be recovering, but you will always have the disease. I don't think addicts should be using ANY type of substance because the disease will always take them back to their DOC. But, I think each and every addict has to learn this on their own. I tried to tell my AH this but it didn't help because of the three C's. Only my opinion....

Focus on you and Good luck!

Elana

IMO drug free means all drugs and being free of them.
My XABF used to do cocaine and then (likely due to finances) stopped doing cocaine or so he said but did POT from his waking in the morning to slepping at night.

The problem with being an addict is there is an underlying personality that seems to go right with the addiction (lies, cheating, basically a dishonesty pervades all they do).

Changing drugs just means changing drugs, it does not mean recovery.

bookmiser

((((Junkyswife))))

Hi. I don't think we've spoken to each other yet. I'm Linda and my addict
is my 25 yo son.
He was a heroin user, (IV)for five years. Before that, pot, and alcohol.
He kicked heroin by being in jail for 6 months.
I remember when he was in jail, he would talk about never going back to H.
I wanted to believe him, but was jaded by the lies. Cause that's what addicts do.
Anyway, he hasn't used H in over a year, but...
he's a drinker. It started out a few beers here, a few there.
Very quickly he was drinking regularly and became a drunk in every sense of the word. Hiding it. Spending all his money on it. Even driving while intoxicated.
He no longer lives with me. He lives with his alcoholic dad and was drinking almost daily until recently. He met a woman, adopted some strays, and has stayed sober. Does this mean it over? I wouldn't bet on it. He doesn't work a program, doesn't go to meetings, and says that it's just a few drinks here and there. again...addict speak.
I'm not sure if you should be concerned about relapse to his doc, or not.
I do know alcohol is a drug also, and it does the same job as drug use, only slower. (unless he's driving and gets killed in an accident)
What can you do?
Focus on you. Attend f2f meetings, come here often, and read lots about addiction, codenpendency, and recovery.
It's nice to meet you and you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

GiveLove

Junkyswife,

Alcohol was the lubricant that eventually worked its magic and made it okay for my heroin-addicted sister to return to her doc after every rehab (which she tried at least 3 times) She is no longer with us.

He's playing with fire. You'd be wise to start working your own program diligently, and develop a plan for yourself as to how you'd handle a relapse.

Take care of YOU,
GL

cinderellawkids

I may eb wrong here, but alcohol is a depressant and triggers the same feeling that lead many crack useers initially to use crack.

my AH drinks he feels inferior so off to get crack so he's back on top of the world