Back Again...need support!
Back Again...need support!
It's been awhile since I was on the site.....almost 4 months. I kept thinking I had this drinking thing under control. Well, last night I got so drunk at a charity fundraiser that my company sponsored that I was grabbing the CEO and EVP's a$$. (One male and one female). I have NO recollection of the entire night. None. And I didn't even have a hangover. I just woke up with no memory of what happened after 6:00pm last night. Yep. I wonder if I will have a job come tomorrow. If I am lucky to still have a job, I am sure it will come with a stiff warning and I deserve it. I am sure I have lost the respect of not only my bosses and co-workers, but the other attendees of the gala. I made a total fool of myself and I am so embarassed I don't know how I will show up at work tomorrow. I feel like such a loser. What do I mean FEEL like, I AM a loser.
KC
KC
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: pass the bon bons
Posts: 2,363
you are not a loser, you have a serious problem with alcohol......which many people suffer from.......you are certainly not the first person to embarrass themselves at a company party.........or any party for that matter.........so many of the people here blackout and wait anxiously for the phone calls the next morning, worrying about what they did and who they called and what they said......
has this made a difference for you in your thinking about your alcohol problem? do you believe you are an alcoholic? if so, now is as good a time as any to seek help......many companies have programs to help employees with substance abuse issues.....and many insurance companies cover treatment.......it would be a good thing to look into......
maybe you should go to work and schedual an appointment with the two people you may have offended, and apologise, admit you have a problem with drinking and need help.........that is what i would do......the worst that could happen is you lose your job.......but the best that could happen is your bosses will be more understanding and help you......either way, apologising is the right thing to do, in my opinion............before they force a meeting with you to reprimand you, you could initiate the conversation........
these are only my opinions........if i have said anything that you don't like, well, take what you do agree with and leave the rest.............i only wish to help.........
has this made a difference for you in your thinking about your alcohol problem? do you believe you are an alcoholic? if so, now is as good a time as any to seek help......many companies have programs to help employees with substance abuse issues.....and many insurance companies cover treatment.......it would be a good thing to look into......
maybe you should go to work and schedual an appointment with the two people you may have offended, and apologise, admit you have a problem with drinking and need help.........that is what i would do......the worst that could happen is you lose your job.......but the best that could happen is your bosses will be more understanding and help you......either way, apologising is the right thing to do, in my opinion............before they force a meeting with you to reprimand you, you could initiate the conversation........
these are only my opinions........if i have said anything that you don't like, well, take what you do agree with and leave the rest.............i only wish to help.........
Hi KC I am really glad you decided to return when thing didn't workout.. Maybe last night was the wake up call you needed, other than my promises not to drink that lasted a few days when I quit for the first time I too went back and for a while thought i had it under control.... till the blackouts.
Sometime we can be so stubborn that we have to prove to ourselves that no matter how under control we think we have our drinking in the end it the alcohol that take control. I just read some where that relapse is actually a part of recover....
As far as work goes often those who witness are antics are somewhat inebriated themselves and think it was "all that bad" or they are embarrassed to bring it up. I would just show up for work and unless you are addressed about the evening carry on.... I do agree wiht ayla an apoligy is in order, keep it breif and do not try to justify your actions.
A simple "I am sorry for my inaproriate behavior the other evening and I am seeing to it that it will never happen again should sufice."
Sometime we can be so stubborn that we have to prove to ourselves that no matter how under control we think we have our drinking in the end it the alcohol that take control. I just read some where that relapse is actually a part of recover....
As far as work goes often those who witness are antics are somewhat inebriated themselves and think it was "all that bad" or they are embarrassed to bring it up. I would just show up for work and unless you are addressed about the evening carry on.... I do agree wiht ayla an apoligy is in order, keep it breif and do not try to justify your actions.
A simple "I am sorry for my inaproriate behavior the other evening and I am seeing to it that it will never happen again should sufice."
Last edited by NYCGirl; 04-01-2007 at 02:21 PM. Reason: forgot...
Thank you both. I will apologize first thing in the morning. I am so embarrassed, but it needs to be done. I am already seeing a Psychologist and she is aware of my drinking but we have not really addressed it, I am seeing her more for a relationship issue, but now we have something that has to take first priority. I hope I can stop for good this time.
KC
KC
It's been awhile since I was on the site.....almost 4 months. I kept thinking I had this drinking thing under control. Well, last night I got so drunk at a charity fundraiser that my company sponsored that I was grabbing the CEO and EVP's a$$. (One male and one female). I have NO recollection of the entire night. None. And I didn't even have a hangover. I just woke up with no memory of what happened after 6:00pm last night. Yep. I wonder if I will have a job come tomorrow. If I am lucky to still have a job, I am sure it will come with a stiff warning and I deserve it. I am sure I have lost the respect of not only my bosses and co-workers, but the other attendees of the gala. I made a total fool of myself and I am so embarassed I don't know how I will show up at work tomorrow. I feel like such a loser. What do I mean FEEL like, I AM a loser.
KC
KC
if you are truly ready to begin this journey, if you are ready to be honest, openminded, and willing, you have all you need to begin. if you don't know where to start, just ask. but you'll have to reach out and ask for help. once you do that, it will come.
Thanks for coming back to SR. We need to hear your story, it reminds some of us of what we have to look forward to if we every go back out. it just doesn't get any better does it?
Your friend in sobriety,
steady eddie
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi KC1,
Your post bought back vivid memories for this alcoholic. I was one of the honorees several years ago for an annual civilian awards ceremony. Wine and cheese, along with a light brunch, were served. All I was interested in was the wine that afternoon. I have vague memories of lurching after the Deputy Chief of Police, understandably upset that he wasn't responding to my advances. I then went after the Regional Chair for the Police Services Board, and again was frustrated when he rejected my advances. The rest .. is a blur .. but the afternoon merged into evening and .. I truthfully don't remember where I woke up the next day. I was completely mortified and convinced that I would lose my job and/or credibility.
I didn't get sober right away. It took a few more 'experiments' for me to realize that I had a serious problem.
I used to cringe when I recalled such instances, but I don't today. I've been sober for a while, and I don't humiliate myself anymore (at least not with the help of alcohol ha ha).
You seem to know what to do. Sometimes, as alcoholics, it seems like we have to experience these things in order to truly want and be willing to change.
I'm glad you're here, and that you're getting help. Hope you hang around the boards - the people here have helped me so much on my journey.
Rowan
Your post bought back vivid memories for this alcoholic. I was one of the honorees several years ago for an annual civilian awards ceremony. Wine and cheese, along with a light brunch, were served. All I was interested in was the wine that afternoon. I have vague memories of lurching after the Deputy Chief of Police, understandably upset that he wasn't responding to my advances. I then went after the Regional Chair for the Police Services Board, and again was frustrated when he rejected my advances. The rest .. is a blur .. but the afternoon merged into evening and .. I truthfully don't remember where I woke up the next day. I was completely mortified and convinced that I would lose my job and/or credibility.
I didn't get sober right away. It took a few more 'experiments' for me to realize that I had a serious problem.
I used to cringe when I recalled such instances, but I don't today. I've been sober for a while, and I don't humiliate myself anymore (at least not with the help of alcohol ha ha).
You seem to know what to do. Sometimes, as alcoholics, it seems like we have to experience these things in order to truly want and be willing to change.
I'm glad you're here, and that you're getting help. Hope you hang around the boards - the people here have helped me so much on my journey.
Rowan
Last edited by Rowan; 02-05-2008 at 08:05 AM.
I am hanging around the boards and know I will keep doing so. I know that today is easy - going one day without the drink. Two days will probably still be easy. But after that - that's when it will start to get harder and harder each day. I hope to heck I can do it.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Have you seen this?
Blackouts are discussed on #35 I think.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
You too can find recovery...Hugs
Blackouts are discussed on #35 I think.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
You too can find recovery...Hugs
Carol,
Thanks for sending the link. Sadly, I laughed out loud when I saw what it was. Yes, I have seen it before because I went out and bought the book "Under The Influence" 4 months ago when I was last on these boards. You would have thought that I would have stopped after reading that. I have been having blackouts for about a year now, just not as frequent and certainly not with just two or three drinks. Somehow I have to make myself understand that this is NOT something I can control.
Thanks for sending the link. Sadly, I laughed out loud when I saw what it was. Yes, I have seen it before because I went out and bought the book "Under The Influence" 4 months ago when I was last on these boards. You would have thought that I would have stopped after reading that. I have been having blackouts for about a year now, just not as frequent and certainly not with just two or three drinks. Somehow I have to make myself understand that this is NOT something I can control.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Well...read the darn book again!
Have you been using AA for support?
Or SMART or ????
Yes... I know you are seeing a Psychologist
but perhaps you need more
You are so lucky you did not have an accidnet
in that blackout.
Better to face your boss than a jailer.
Blessings
Have you been using AA for support?
Or SMART or ????
Yes... I know you are seeing a Psychologist
but perhaps you need more
You are so lucky you did not have an accidnet
in that blackout.
Better to face your boss than a jailer.
Blessings
OK. It's time to go to work. Wish me luck. Tonight will also be a challenge for me. I am the Chairperson of a local charity fundraiser and guess where it is being held? Yep, in a bar. I am in charge of collecting the door cover charges all of which are being donated to charity and then giving a short speech on what the contributions mean to our charity and community. I know I can do it. I have to do it. My life depends on it. I can do it, right???? I can do it without having a drink...........I know I can.
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