Go Back  SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > Friends and Family > Friends and Family of Substance Abusers
Reload this Page >

i think i'm really starting to get the *me* part in all of this...



i think i'm really starting to get the *me* part in all of this...

Old 03-31-2007, 09:45 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
itiswhatitis...'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewhere, out there...
Posts: 512
i think i'm really starting to get the *me* part in all of this...

hi all,

it's been an interesting week - my mom brought my sisters older boys (11&7) here to IN last weekend to visit with the lil guys (2&4) - none of the boys have spoken to my sister since the weekend of the 16th of february - not once has she tried to contact any of them - when my mom left tuesday, she was worried sister had tried to kill herself because of a message she left on sunday, her 38th birthday - mom was going to try and get her into a hospital because the message was just wack - i thought that maybe she really was going to kill herself - my mom was upset i couldn't sympathize with her about my sister, that i really have better days when i dont' hear anything about my sister - it just makes the days a lot less drama filled when no one is trying to guess what she's up to or what's going on in her head - it's impossible to fathom so i'd rather not try...

i heard from my other sister - my sister apparently called my mom on thursday - clear headed - and told my mom that her and bf were home (after 45 days or so, ok...) and the basement (where they had to move into because the kids were not keeping the house clean and they had to lock their food in teh basement cuz the kids were lazy and ungrateful ok?!!!) was flooded so the landlord was there - sister said that if mom was going to stop by it wasn't a good time - so she would call mom later - my mom called my sister to ask what she should do - sister said mom should go to house - ask her to get help and get kids social security #'s so i can register 4 yr old for preschool, and have sister sign something so that i have temporary custody - mom decides (somehow) that sister would never do any of these things so she does nothing - ok? - she wants to make herself feel better that her daughte isn't dead but doesn't want to help make things easier for those of us with the kids - but that's ok - my mo specifically aksed my sister *what do you think i could do to help s?* sister told mom that i would probably want her to do what sister suggested and if she wasn't going to do that then she shouldn't tell me about it - so she didn't - i haven't heard from mom since she left tues. - the last thing she said was she didn't have any idea when or if she would make the three hour trip again because it was so hard to see the lil guys upset because their brothers were going home - i told her that that was up to her but i would hope that she would think about what was good for the kids, who did just fine, instead of how upsetting thigns were for her - she just got pissedo ff at me - oh well - i seem to have pissed sister (addicted one) her boyfriend, and my mom off - to the point that none of them will talk to me, the one with the lil guys (who should be everyone's priority, at least in my mind)...

you know what? - i don't care - i don't care that no one will call and talk to me - my day is truly easier when i don't have to think about that drama - the drama just keeps me on edge - i don't like to be edgy - and i really don't care - i think that's a good thing - to not focus on that crap...

there is so much good going on in my life right now - things are good with my husband, my oldest son just went away for a well deserved spring break and the kid he went down to florida with registered at the same school he's going to and is a good kid - real low key, nice kid - maybe since z dropped all of his old friends, well most, this is a good sign for the future - the lil guys are all getting along - and dcfs in IL called and wrote a letter that states that in amonth and a half they have been unable, through certified mail and numerous home visits, to contact parents of lil guys and after police reports, previous contact and interviews with immediate family, they feel it is in the childrens best interests to be placed with me - i should be able to file for custody once i have that letter - my other kids are doing great - and the *universe is unfolding as it should* - i have to remind myself of that lately - that i have no control - that i can only control my reaction to things going on around me - it helps...

and to all of you - once again, thank you, for praying for all of us, for being unflinchingly honest in sharing your lives and experiences with me and for just being here - i appreciate sr and all of you more than you can imagine - thanks...

love,
s
itiswhatitis... is offline  
Old 03-31-2007, 11:51 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
On a tear
 
BigSis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
(((hugs)))
BigSis is offline  
Old 04-01-2007, 12:04 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: In
Posts: 561
Right making sure the kids remain safe is most important. I'm sure you will have a great feeling of peace once you get those custody papers. Sounds like maybe your Mom's nerves might be getting to her. She loves her grandkids, which is why she took them from the hell they were in an brought them to you. But she also loves AD an wants her to recover. Maybe give your Mom a break she has alot to deal with mentally, I'm sure she'll is just confused at the moment.
Your right though it is so much easier when your not having to deal with the crazy way addicts think an live. Sometimes when the phone rings an I see it's my AD I just freeze, it's like... oh no now what...it can ruin a perfectly good day just talking to her..I love her but since I can't help her it's upsetting just to talk to her.
Again I think it's great that the kids have you. Your a special person to take them in an love them.. they are lucky to have you.. glad your taking care of yourself too.
lostparent is offline  
Old 04-01-2007, 02:24 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
grateful rca
 
teke's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
i agree with lostparent, keeping you and your family in my prayers.
teke is offline  
Old 04-01-2007, 05:14 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Get Caught Reading
 
bookmiser's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
(((itiswhatitis)))

Sending hugs, prayers, and support to you and your family.
bookmiser is offline  
Old 04-01-2007, 05:56 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
I'm HOME!!!!!
 
notsleepingwell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Hot flash city
Posts: 573
(((Itiswhat)))

You sound soooo together. Those kids hit the jackpot landing with you my friend!!! I can't imagine how tough it is suddenly inheriting 2 more kids, yet you make it sound sooo simple.

Bless you, bless you, for just being you!!! It's sooo hard with family isn't it. You'd think family, of all people would be appreciative of what you have sacrificed to help the kids.

I just moved back to Canada from California to take care of my grandson, amidst great sorrow, turmoil, etc etc....and my sister, the one I'm closest to...just stopped talking to me. When I needed her to the most. At Christmas, I ran into her, and she had a litany of things I had done to her over the years. I just turned my back and walked away. One of her complaints was, when I used to come home, I would drive through her town to get to my daughters, so even though I would see her the next day....I didin't stop there first!!

It's crazy and hurtful. But sounds like you have a supportive husband, and probably friends, who although they can't take the place of your family....help a lot.

NSW

notsleepingwell is offline  
Old 04-01-2007, 06:04 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
hope213's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
i am glad things are going well in your household.your family is lucky to have you no matter what they are feeling today.you are doing good in your recovery & you are doing the right things for the kids & yourself.hugs to you & prayers for you & all your family.
hope213 is offline  
Old 04-01-2007, 06:06 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
pjbs55's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 702
((HUGS))
You are doing great, and make it seem so easy. You are right that family can drive you crazy, it is easier with friends. I am glad the lil ones are doing well and your kids are doing too. Your mom is going through a hard time and you are an easy target for her anger. Every family has one person that gets dumped on, and unforunatly it is you.
Stay strong, you are doing the right thing. HP is watching over you and the rest of your family
pjbs55 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:18 PM.