Alcoholics
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Happy with me !
Posts: 680
Alcoholics
I went with my sister today to the emergency room because my 4 yr old nephew fell and his arm was swollen.......every is fine with him.
However, the reason I am posting is because in the room next to us was a woman that was a known alcoholic to the ER staff. They were calling child services for her children. This lady was wandering out of her room, came into ours at one point.....it WAS sad, but after everything I have been through with my AH I did not feel any sympathy for her, just her kids.
That is mean of me, I know, but true at this stage of my recovery.
However, the reason I am posting is because in the room next to us was a woman that was a known alcoholic to the ER staff. They were calling child services for her children. This lady was wandering out of her room, came into ours at one point.....it WAS sad, but after everything I have been through with my AH I did not feel any sympathy for her, just her kids.
That is mean of me, I know, but true at this stage of my recovery.
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: state of confusion
Posts: 351
So sad but true, active alcoholics have no business being sole caretakers of children ....but unfortunately sometimes the court systems make uneducated and reckless decisions. It is such a tragic problem .. that so badly hurts the families with someone afflicted with alcoholism. We need better education as to the true nature of this baffling, powerful and destructive disease that affects so many millions of people.. so better choices can be made. So many just don't understand ... and that is why we keep coming back to this forum because it seems like only those here understand what it is really like.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: iowa
Posts: 93
My lawyer, when I filed for divorce had talked with the CPC -central point coordinator in our county who deals with mental health issues. I had talked with her before each of the times we committed my AH. And to help get funding for him to see a therapist & get help for his medications.
Anyway - later on about a month after I filed for divorce, my lawyer said that this CPC had said that they were about to look in to taking my kids away if I continued to let AH (their dad) stay in the house.
That was a wake up call too. It's not just if the A is the caretaker - because I was the caretaker. AH would just sleep on the couch and yell occasionally.
I know I've already messed them up by not leaving long ago.
Hopefully counseling will help - if we can only get thru the teen years (and they're just starting)
Anyway - later on about a month after I filed for divorce, my lawyer said that this CPC had said that they were about to look in to taking my kids away if I continued to let AH (their dad) stay in the house.
That was a wake up call too. It's not just if the A is the caretaker - because I was the caretaker. AH would just sleep on the couch and yell occasionally.
I know I've already messed them up by not leaving long ago.
Hopefully counseling will help - if we can only get thru the teen years (and they're just starting)
Sunny Side Up
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sth Australia
Posts: 3,802
Yes Lilac, unfortunately it is the children who suffer the most in this destructive situation. They can be bribed, bought, abused and forgotten. Lets just hope there is someone these children can go to. I think the school system should be educating children on this too. Or at least giving these kids info on what steps to take.
It is sad. the parent often becomes the child and the children as they get old become the parent... poor things.
My sister has two children whom I have been looking after along with my mother on and off. The kids did not want to leave her because they feared she would hurt herself and worried who would look after her. They have seen it all and have been emotionally torn. Then one bad day, after driving the car drunk and humiliating my neice, enough was enough. I took the kids away from her.
The children would be better off and maybe just maybe it might be enough for the mother to take a good look at herself.
It is sad. the parent often becomes the child and the children as they get old become the parent... poor things.
My sister has two children whom I have been looking after along with my mother on and off. The kids did not want to leave her because they feared she would hurt herself and worried who would look after her. They have seen it all and have been emotionally torn. Then one bad day, after driving the car drunk and humiliating my neice, enough was enough. I took the kids away from her.
The children would be better off and maybe just maybe it might be enough for the mother to take a good look at herself.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
.it WAS sad, but after everything I have been through with my AH I did not feel any sympathy for her, just her kids.
That is mean of me, I know, but true at this stage of my recovery.
That is mean of me, I know, but true at this stage of my recovery.
Please, do not beat yourself up over this. You are a good person.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,351
the pain these kids feel is sticks to them like glue forever--I sometimes think the stories my mother told me about her mean alcoholic father were the reason I left my EXAH so quickly--I didnt want him to go through it like she had. She is 71 now and sometimes she still cries about it. Her brother died of luekemia when he was 11--and my mother says --it wasn't bad enough that he had a short life but the life he had was a terror from their father.Seems he picked on the boy more than the girls--things like--he would come home drunk in the middle of the night--rouse all the kids and make the boy to pushups--while he verbally humiliated him....My mothers brother used to tell her''when I grow up I am going to be a nice man" He never grew up...sad
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