Prayers please AH is melting down
A work in progress....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains
Posts: 1,018
Prayers please AH is melting down
Hi guys,
I just wanted to ask you all to pray for me and the boys today. My AH is melting down, getting very manipulative and intimidating with all of us. He has been to my house 6 times in the last 5 days.
Last night he came here knowing that I was alone because little bit was spending the night with a friend. A couple of guys had come here with deer meat for a wild game dinner, and when they didn't find him here, they called him and he came. I didn't tell them anything because I didn't want to put him on the spot.
I didn't lock the door when I came back in the house. Bad move. He didn't even knock. Just walked in. I told him I didn't want to talk, but of course that didn't stop the tidal wave of quacking.
It didn't end well. I opened the door and asked him to leave and he went off at me, screaming "Tim's (using buddy) out in the truck. Why don't you show him what a big woman you are?? Why don't you just call the police??" I hadn't known anyone else was here until then, and I opened the passenger door and asked Tim to please get him to leave. Tim started to get out of the truck and AH yelled at him to "shut your mouth and get back in that truck right now." I couldn't believe that he talked to Tim like that. In the same tone he uses to bully me.
He has been obsessively calling me and leaving ranting voice mails. And he is doing the financial blackmail thing, too. All I asked him to pay was a 100.00 deductable for our 19-year-old from a trip to the ER after a snowboarding wreck, and a 122.00 payment on 10-year-old's martial arts classes-that isn't even due until April 15. I have paid all the other bills myself. He told me not to ask him for any money for anything.
All this when he knows that there is a restraining order against him that clearly says no contact unless he is in the company of one of our adult sons and is coming here for parenting time with little bit, no phone calls unless it is an emergency about little bit. And granting me exclusive right to the house.
I finally called my attorney today and told her that he is violating the restraining order and hasn't given us any money all month like he told his attorney he would and we agreed to. She has filed a motion to hold him in contempt and is getting the support and marital assets (rent from the property we own) put in writing for me.
I didn't even warn him that I was going to do it. I just did. She said she is going to ask for jail time for each of the times he came here, and for each phone calls. She had me save the voice mails and take digital pics of the phone log on my cell. She is also having his buddy that witnessed las night supeoned (or however you spell it). This could get really nasty.
The whole thing just stinks. I had the best couple of days, and then this. Please just keep us in your prayers. Thanks. Love yas!
I just wanted to ask you all to pray for me and the boys today. My AH is melting down, getting very manipulative and intimidating with all of us. He has been to my house 6 times in the last 5 days.
Last night he came here knowing that I was alone because little bit was spending the night with a friend. A couple of guys had come here with deer meat for a wild game dinner, and when they didn't find him here, they called him and he came. I didn't tell them anything because I didn't want to put him on the spot.
I didn't lock the door when I came back in the house. Bad move. He didn't even knock. Just walked in. I told him I didn't want to talk, but of course that didn't stop the tidal wave of quacking.
It didn't end well. I opened the door and asked him to leave and he went off at me, screaming "Tim's (using buddy) out in the truck. Why don't you show him what a big woman you are?? Why don't you just call the police??" I hadn't known anyone else was here until then, and I opened the passenger door and asked Tim to please get him to leave. Tim started to get out of the truck and AH yelled at him to "shut your mouth and get back in that truck right now." I couldn't believe that he talked to Tim like that. In the same tone he uses to bully me.
He has been obsessively calling me and leaving ranting voice mails. And he is doing the financial blackmail thing, too. All I asked him to pay was a 100.00 deductable for our 19-year-old from a trip to the ER after a snowboarding wreck, and a 122.00 payment on 10-year-old's martial arts classes-that isn't even due until April 15. I have paid all the other bills myself. He told me not to ask him for any money for anything.
All this when he knows that there is a restraining order against him that clearly says no contact unless he is in the company of one of our adult sons and is coming here for parenting time with little bit, no phone calls unless it is an emergency about little bit. And granting me exclusive right to the house.
I finally called my attorney today and told her that he is violating the restraining order and hasn't given us any money all month like he told his attorney he would and we agreed to. She has filed a motion to hold him in contempt and is getting the support and marital assets (rent from the property we own) put in writing for me.
I didn't even warn him that I was going to do it. I just did. She said she is going to ask for jail time for each of the times he came here, and for each phone calls. She had me save the voice mails and take digital pics of the phone log on my cell. She is also having his buddy that witnessed las night supeoned (or however you spell it). This could get really nasty.
The whole thing just stinks. I had the best couple of days, and then this. Please just keep us in your prayers. Thanks. Love yas!
Bridge CLOSED
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
Hey Jen..
yeah.. it got nasty with my X ABF too. You are facing a lot but it sounds like you are staying strong and that is good.
All I can say is damn damn damn addiction.. and the behavior that follows.
I am listening. I care. You take care of yourself and keep safe.
(((Jen)))
Just sending you a few hugs cuz you need 'em
yeah.. it got nasty with my X ABF too. You are facing a lot but it sounds like you are staying strong and that is good.
All I can say is damn damn damn addiction.. and the behavior that follows.
I am listening. I care. You take care of yourself and keep safe.
(((Jen)))
Just sending you a few hugs cuz you need 'em
Hug giver-outer!
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
Please stay safe. Never underestimate the power or stupidity of an active addict!!
Take care of you and your boys!
Lots of prayers going out. Don't hesitate to call the police or get the info for a shelter so you know who to contact or where to go if you need to. Ok?
Take care of you and your boys!
Lots of prayers going out. Don't hesitate to call the police or get the info for a shelter so you know who to contact or where to go if you need to. Ok?
A work in progress....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains
Posts: 1,018
Originally Posted by anvilhead 
call 911 if he shows up again.
LOL!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: tn
Posts: 663
I agree with the ones ahead of me about calling 911 the next time he somes over. Try not to get on the rollercoaster ride with him.
You sound strong - GREAT!!!!
Keep us posted and take care of you and little bit.
Terri
You sound strong - GREAT!!!!
Keep us posted and take care of you and little bit.
Terri
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
i agree with the others, call the police, maybe he'll learn that he has to honor the law. sorry that you are having to go through all of this, stay safe and i'm keeping you and your son in my prayers.
A work in progress....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains
Posts: 1,018
Thanks everyone. I think he may get a clue when he gets hauled in on contempt charges in a few days.
My attorney is not very nice...she intends to ask for him to be jailed for EACH of the 6 visits, plus EACH of the 9 phone calls I got last night and today. She said he obviously isn't taking this very seriously and he won't unless he gets a real scare.
I hired her because I had heard her described with words like 'python', 'pit bull', etc. And I knew that this was going to get rough and I would need someone that would stand up to him because my knees tend to buckle at the worst possible time.....
My attorney is not very nice...she intends to ask for him to be jailed for EACH of the 6 visits, plus EACH of the 9 phone calls I got last night and today. She said he obviously isn't taking this very seriously and he won't unless he gets a real scare.
I hired her because I had heard her described with words like 'python', 'pit bull', etc. And I knew that this was going to get rough and I would need someone that would stand up to him because my knees tend to buckle at the worst possible time.....
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Jen, I'm so happy you have this woman on your side! I'm so sorry you have to continue to experience drama; it must be very stressful and scary. I'm glad your HP gave you a few days of peace to have the strength to get through this chaos and do what you have to do.
You and your kids are in my prayers, and I am praying for your husband to, that he finds clarity to understand that his quacking and abuse must end and that he realizes he can change himself and seek recovery. Hugs.
You and your kids are in my prayers, and I am praying for your husband to, that he finds clarity to understand that his quacking and abuse must end and that he realizes he can change himself and seek recovery. Hugs.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
(((((Jen))))))
I'm so glad you contacted your attorney.
I know this is difficult. Its always hard when we have to enlist the help of the legal system to enforce boundries...but sadly...many times it is necessary.
I admire your strength.
Hugs and prayers...
I'm so glad you contacted your attorney.
I know this is difficult. Its always hard when we have to enlist the help of the legal system to enforce boundries...but sadly...many times it is necessary.
I admire your strength.
Hugs and prayers...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 107
I didn't even warn him that I was going to do it. I just did
Best regards
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Jen,
More prayers and thoughts coming your way.
Use the legal system to protect yourself and remember to do the next best thing FOR YOU. And lock those doors, young lady!
Hugs
Hangin' In
More prayers and thoughts coming your way.
Use the legal system to protect yourself and remember to do the next best thing FOR YOU. And lock those doors, young lady!
Hugs
Hangin' In
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