should i just give up
Rock-chalk-jayhawk..
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: kansas
Posts: 170
should i just give up
was cleaning the house last nite (spring cleaning). and to my surprise i found a rock on top of my dresser. i know i shouldnt have but i smoked it. it was just enough for me to get a taste but it was enough for me to go to the liq store and try and fight that other demond. i didnt want to buy any more crack so i drank and went to bed. i dont think im going to make it myfriends. should i just face life and deal with the crappy cards life has dealed me? i wasnt even thinking of using last nite. i was in clean mode and was in a possative state of mind. but when i found that rock my god. seems im just another weakling. i dont feel ashamed for drinking. i spent 6 dollars on beer rather than 100's on coke. i know its not right to do one addiction for the next but i didnt want to smoke coke. im doing great today but am ashammed of my actions. do i keep trying or just give up? i want to be sober but seems so far for me. i still have the state of mind to say no today. but last nite really sucked. sorry if i have let you all down.. i let myself down yet again...jason
Hope3
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 2,155
No, Never give up on giving up.
Just try a different approach to stopping
the madness, give it some thought and come
up with a different solution Toetah, what you have tried so far
hasn't worked...I'm behind you man, don't give up, hope3
Just try a different approach to stopping
the madness, give it some thought and come
up with a different solution Toetah, what you have tried so far
hasn't worked...I'm behind you man, don't give up, hope3
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
For the love of your son Jason.....NEVER GIVE UP!!!!
It's not like you went looking for a rock. I have found lots of stuff before. If someone were to throw one in front of me right now I would smoke that thing so fast. And get more. Though your right about the drinking..but you did refrain from calling the dope boy.
It doesnt make you weak. Thats addiction.
Never give up. When you give up you have lost. People slip. Don't let it get you down. Just brush it off and try again. As long as you keep trying your still in it to win.
By me saying that I dont mean do it once in awhile and keep starting over. We are human.
If I can do this Jason so can you. We came to this board around the same time. I am 2 weeks clean today. I discharged myself from treatment yesterday. But not because I want to get high. Because that way is not for me. So I am trying a different approach. You can too.
Your wanting to stop and the guilt are good things really. That means your still in the fight. And it takes alot of courage to admit when you have messed up.
Just keep trying and find what is going to work for you. There is hope. There is a way. You just gotta find it. So you slip finding your way. Nobody ever said there was a manual or a map to this s***. It is a journey.
YOU CAN DO THIS. PLease dont give up.
My edit. I agree with the posts after mine. You definately cant do it alone.
It's not like you went looking for a rock. I have found lots of stuff before. If someone were to throw one in front of me right now I would smoke that thing so fast. And get more. Though your right about the drinking..but you did refrain from calling the dope boy.
It doesnt make you weak. Thats addiction.
Never give up. When you give up you have lost. People slip. Don't let it get you down. Just brush it off and try again. As long as you keep trying your still in it to win.
By me saying that I dont mean do it once in awhile and keep starting over. We are human.
If I can do this Jason so can you. We came to this board around the same time. I am 2 weeks clean today. I discharged myself from treatment yesterday. But not because I want to get high. Because that way is not for me. So I am trying a different approach. You can too.
Your wanting to stop and the guilt are good things really. That means your still in the fight. And it takes alot of courage to admit when you have messed up.
Just keep trying and find what is going to work for you. There is hope. There is a way. You just gotta find it. So you slip finding your way. Nobody ever said there was a manual or a map to this s***. It is a journey.
YOU CAN DO THIS. PLease dont give up.
My edit. I agree with the posts after mine. You definately cant do it alone.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,231
Jason....as u must know,,,using and drinking will
never be the same as it use to be because u already
have a taste of what recovery is all about.....
They say when u get clean or sober it screws
up ur drinking and using career....
When we get clean and sober, we pick up the
tools of recovery....the steps to help guide us....
When u came across the rock....well ,,,lets go
back a bit...when we get clean and sober they
suggest to get rid of people places and things
that would not be good for our sobriety...
That means getting rid of everything....
If it were i who came across the rock...well
for me it would have been alcohol ...if i had
been going to my meetings and had a sponsor
or numbers to call....i would have emmediately....
And i mean emmediately called someone.....I
would already be squirrely and scared and this
would be the perfect opportunity to call for help....
Because i know for myself i am weak,,,,and
having someone in the program longer than i ...
I would trust them to help me get out of that
situation i was in that would cause me to drink or
for u to use....
U use the tools and suggestions of the program
to help u day by day to not drink or use...
And i like knowing I dont have to do this on my
own...cause im weak and I cant ...i need others
in the program to help me stay sober and so do u....
Soooooo....
Pick urself up, dust urself off.....and haul ur booty
to a meeting and get some support behind u...
Numbers and ...
What will u do if this situation comes up again to
where u find a rock?
Answer please???
never be the same as it use to be because u already
have a taste of what recovery is all about.....
They say when u get clean or sober it screws
up ur drinking and using career....
When we get clean and sober, we pick up the
tools of recovery....the steps to help guide us....
When u came across the rock....well ,,,lets go
back a bit...when we get clean and sober they
suggest to get rid of people places and things
that would not be good for our sobriety...
That means getting rid of everything....
If it were i who came across the rock...well
for me it would have been alcohol ...if i had
been going to my meetings and had a sponsor
or numbers to call....i would have emmediately....
And i mean emmediately called someone.....I
would already be squirrely and scared and this
would be the perfect opportunity to call for help....
Because i know for myself i am weak,,,,and
having someone in the program longer than i ...
I would trust them to help me get out of that
situation i was in that would cause me to drink or
for u to use....
U use the tools and suggestions of the program
to help u day by day to not drink or use...
And i like knowing I dont have to do this on my
own...cause im weak and I cant ...i need others
in the program to help me stay sober and so do u....
Soooooo....
Pick urself up, dust urself off.....and haul ur booty
to a meeting and get some support behind u...
Numbers and ...
What will u do if this situation comes up again to
where u find a rock?
Answer please???
Last edited by aasharon90; 03-28-2007 at 04:01 PM.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,024
Jason, sometimes there's only one thing I have that keeps me clean and sober when everything else fails.
1. I still haven't met anyone who died from NOT taking a drink or using. For me, to drink might mean to die. Abstinence works.
I haven't had a drink in 765 days. It is possible to stay clean and sober. Please don't give up.
1. I still haven't met anyone who died from NOT taking a drink or using. For me, to drink might mean to die. Abstinence works.
I haven't had a drink in 765 days. It is possible to stay clean and sober. Please don't give up.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Jason... I am unfamiliar with you but I am assuming that gorgeous, bright eyed innocent in the picture attached to profile is your son. Can you look at the child and ask yourself this question again? Do you just give up? This beautiful little boy needs you...your wisdom and guidance and love. You have to fight to be "present" for him, if not for yourself. Do not abandon this blossoming spirit. Do not rob him of the precious gift of you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
Don't give up. Your life is so important and way to valuable to let that demon drug eat you alive. You deserve more than that crap.
You can do it!! Just stand back up, look that demon in the eye and say "NO WAY, NOT TODAY" !!!
Remember, all you have is today. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow's not here yet so this moment is what you focus on.
This is a process. Sometimes it takes longer for some to grasp it but that doesn't mean that their hopeless... all that will make them stronger in the end.
Jason, we're all here and pulling for you!
You can do it!! Just stand back up, look that demon in the eye and say "NO WAY, NOT TODAY" !!!
Remember, all you have is today. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow's not here yet so this moment is what you focus on.
This is a process. Sometimes it takes longer for some to grasp it but that doesn't mean that their hopeless... all that will make them stronger in the end.
Jason, we're all here and pulling for you!
Rock-chalk-jayhawk..
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: kansas
Posts: 170
you guys are awesome. thank you so much. im so glad i have this place. im very greatfull for that. im not going to give up. thats what the addiction wants and im not going to do it. for some reason i have always told myself im not that bad. surely people have it worse than me (addiction). was i way wrong. guess i never wanted to know the real truth. im a drug addict and a drunk. plain and simple. no more beating around the bush. that is me and i must deal with it everyday. you guys are right. i need to go to a meeting. be around other people like me. i think im a bit ashammed of my self. seems i have put up a wall as to who i am and who the real addict is. its me, im the addict and i need to find help. no matter where it is im going to do this. my son deserves a good daddy. i had asked about when is rock bottom? well i know now this is my rock bottom. staring me right in the face. i dont want to lose everything ive worked so hard for. this is as close to rock bottom as i wanna get. your going to see a new man now. positive and sober. i make that my promiss to myself. i deserve it. thank you all very much. im glad i have u guys on my side......jason
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Asheville, NC
Posts: 24
Please don't leave loose crack rocks laying around the house with your young child living there, for his sake.
Your post reminded me of another concerning accountability. Are you having to stay accountable and "report" to anyone? Told anyone about your struggle who will keep you on the straight and narrow? Doesn't have to be a sponsor, but friends/family/confidant? I know for me setting up and strengthening my circle of support helped tremendously. Once all my friends were aware of what I was battling, I not only knew I had them on my side, but they were there if I needed them. Of course, the people on this board are, too, but it's not the same as having a living person at your side, especially in moments of vulnerability and crisis like when you found your rock. Just a thought.
I think one of the biggest walls is not only admitting to yourself your problem, which you've done (AWESOME!) but then letting others know it. I was horrified at the thought-embarrassed, ashamed, humiliated, thought I'd be shunned, the usual preconceptions- but to my astonishment people not only stood by my side, but got closer to help me, and not in a pitying way.
Your post reminded me of another concerning accountability. Are you having to stay accountable and "report" to anyone? Told anyone about your struggle who will keep you on the straight and narrow? Doesn't have to be a sponsor, but friends/family/confidant? I know for me setting up and strengthening my circle of support helped tremendously. Once all my friends were aware of what I was battling, I not only knew I had them on my side, but they were there if I needed them. Of course, the people on this board are, too, but it's not the same as having a living person at your side, especially in moments of vulnerability and crisis like when you found your rock. Just a thought.
I think one of the biggest walls is not only admitting to yourself your problem, which you've done (AWESOME!) but then letting others know it. I was horrified at the thought-embarrassed, ashamed, humiliated, thought I'd be shunned, the usual preconceptions- but to my astonishment people not only stood by my side, but got closer to help me, and not in a pitying way.
Rock-chalk-jayhawk..
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: kansas
Posts: 170
believe me i was just as mad at myself for leaving that on my dresser. it was way up on top but thats no excuse. i have cleaned the whole house top to bottom (last nite) and didnt find anything. the place smells april fresh tho you asked if i had someone to help me along. my family always says we are here for you. when i need them there great. but seems they tend to forget to check up on me. so im pretty much doing this alone. i know i sure could use a friend (sober) to talk to when i do have feelings of using. im going to beat this addiction this time. i have no other choice...jason
you asked if i had someone to help me along. my family always says we are here for you. when i need them there great. but seems they tend to forget to check up on me. so im pretty much doing this alone. i know i sure could use a friend (sober) to talk to when i do have feelings of using. im going to beat this addiction this time. i have no other choice...jason
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Hi Jason. So glad your back on the positive tip.
Yes family is great. This board and my family are what is helping keep me strong.
Dont worry if they don't check on you. Maybe they are waiting for you to come to them. Sometimes people need to stew awhile before they come to the conclusion they cant do it alone and need to take it upon themselves to ask for help. I dont know your situtation on that. But I know you are not alone.
HAHA. I feel like I have been driving my family nuts with all my recovery mentality lately. Thats all I am about the past 2 weeks. I pray to God I keep it. But thay dont mind. They told me they never mind especially when it comes to my sobriety.
Keep up the positivity. Your gonna do great. Your are worth it!!
Yes family is great. This board and my family are what is helping keep me strong.
Dont worry if they don't check on you. Maybe they are waiting for you to come to them. Sometimes people need to stew awhile before they come to the conclusion they cant do it alone and need to take it upon themselves to ask for help. I dont know your situtation on that. But I know you are not alone.
HAHA. I feel like I have been driving my family nuts with all my recovery mentality lately. Thats all I am about the past 2 weeks. I pray to God I keep it. But thay dont mind. They told me they never mind especially when it comes to my sobriety.
Keep up the positivity. Your gonna do great. Your are worth it!!
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