starlite dawn

but, uh, no, I reckon I could not. Wasted, need to sleep, but no, just drink some more.

I totally sicken myself.

I so hate this life.

Thank for listenin' and see ya, bye. *smiles*

Nohangovers4me

Every time I quit and failed I used to say practice makes perfect and I will just keep trying.

It is very hard but tomorrow is a new day. Hang in there!

SHell

Anna

Starlite,

Don't be discouraged. Many of us take a long time to get it right and be able to stop. Please know that you are not alone.

Surlyredhead

Rest would be a good thing right now. You might not feel so good in the morning...but the day after will be better...please don't qiuit quitting.


Cathy

starlite dawn

*many tears*

Goodnight, yes you are right, rest.

Thank you for being here. I did not do good but thank you ever so much. I disappoint me so bad. Maybe my expections are to high. I just don't know.

I just know, I don't like me.

Surlyredhead

But you will come to love yourself...sobriety is a wonderful gift...ours for the taking. You just have to want it more than you want to drink, you need to be to exhausted to lift the bottle...surrender, just give up and know you can't do it anymore....then you will begin to heal. We are here for you.....hugs...Cathy

For the record....I don't hate you..and I am pretty special (ask my Son) if I can like you..there must be some good there!!!!

ayla zaire

starlite...you can do this.......tomorrow is a new day.....learn from this and start over.......we're here for you.......

CarolD

I too continued to drink after I vowed to quit.

Then I felt horrible so I drank to feel better.
Then I felt horrible etc etc etc

I call that the "misery-go-round".

In AA I finally got off the ride
and found the woman I wanted to be!

This can be true for you too!
Hugs

topetah

day one doesnt really look as bad as it did earlyer for me. i made it threw yet another day one but im here and sober. tomarrow will be better. its tuff and its a crappy ride but we all have been there. i dont wanna go down that road again. i just want to focus on making it one more day instaed of 1 year or more. i guess i gotta take baby steps lol. i hope the best for you. believe it or not your post has helped me today. i look forward to hearing how much your doing better tomarrow jason

teej

Good analogy Carol! I can relate.

Star, you can do this thing. Make a gratitude list. Write a goodbye letter to the demon that is wrecking your life. "dear alcohol,".......
Do anything! Just dont drink when you get the craving. Pray. scream if you have to! Take a hot bubble bath. Read the friends and family section on here for a big eye opener.

If there's any alcohol in your house, get rid of it. Too easy to slip that way!

Onward we go girl!!!!!!!!!!!!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Talluleh

A few weeks after I was off the booze I realized that I wasn't feeling as bad about myself and hating my life, like Carol says, the misery go-round. Everyday gets a little better, it will for you too. Breathe...

lostmdboy

Just one day at a time starlite. This would be a wonderful day to start your new life.

BehindBlueEyes

You can do this starlite. You are worth it!

parentrecovers

how are you today, starlite? recovery is possible. please don't lose hope. blessings, k

free-at-last

Okay, well,...heres a good thing to look at this time. Ask yourself, what did you do this time or the last time or the last time? Chances are,....the answers to all those times is that you simply "tried not to drink". That isnt enough. This isnt about willpower. If it was, this would be easy. Alcoholism and addiction to drugs wouldnt even exist. The fact that willpower has nothing to do with it is shown in how we can go on a bender and then look back on it and say to ourselves.."I dont know how that even happened..."

Its why we can be so genuine when we say we are going to quit,.....then the next day,....we get drunk. Its because willpower isnt even in the same part of the brain that addiction is. Two seperate entities altogether. Thats why 96% of alcoholics cannot simply push the glass or bottle away and just stop. We need help. That help comes in the form of changing our lives. From the ground up. No more drinking buddies. They arent our real friends anyhow. No more bars. Wet parties (for a while). No concerts or other places where drinking was a main-stay for a while. If I tried to 'just quit' and then drank again, why would I again just try and 'just quit' and expect any better results than the first time? Nothing changes,.....if nothing changes. Its simple. If the apple is too high to reach, we jump. If it is still just out of reach,....do we jump the same height as last time? No,...we jump higher. If its too high, yet,......we may get a stool or ladder to stand on. SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Simply standing there and jumping forever will get you the exact same results every single time. Now,.... get the apple.

ayla zaire

thinking of you today, starlite....

starlite dawn

Thank you all ever so much. Ya know, I'm glad I came and posted. Even though I was drinkin', it helped me. Usually when I drink, I'll stay up way, way late. Then the next day, I 'bout die.

I'm a right good drunk so when Cathy said I should rest, I'm like well yeah, I do need to do that. My s/o said I should eat a little something cause I had not eaten all day. So I ate and went to bed. Pretty early.

I haven't felt so awful bad physically today due to that. I feel bad emotionally. I had 2 days in of not drinkin'. I thought that was good for a weekend. Well good for me anyways.

I'll try again. Thank you all for the good advice and good thoughts my way.

1_day@_a_time

Lack Of Power Is My Dilemma, Yours Too?

I've posted this before for you, so, let me explain.

If you could quit, all on your own, you probably would have already, correct?