Lexi6

Hello everyone! I just want to say that from reading a few things in this place you all appear very wonderful, like family! Ok....I'm not going to go into a big long song and dance about myself-

I will try to do the brief history-I grew up with a few A brothers, one who is now in jail-(As he says it is his happy place now-away from fear-He will be off probabtation when he is out and will be free to live his life again-in recovery!). My father also was an A but my parents divorced at age of 7-so I was not subjected to that as much.

I have gone to Alanon and will continue to go-which brings me to my current issue at hand....I was dating this guy a little over 2 years-(Very good at hiding he was an A for the first year or so) I finally caught on-as the mood swings began, the verbal abuse, the throwing and breaking things (throwing one of my dogs across the room) when not getting what he wanted or being out of control-I had to call the police on him on several occasions for him following me-running me off the road blah blah quack quack....here I am almost a year later-after I got a final restraining order-and he was proceeding to call me text message me etc....I which was wrong in doing so responded to him asking him to please stop which then escalated to being nasty this has gone on for over 3 months- (I feel that I was giving him a chance to back off like I asked because I know if I called the cops he would go to jail for a long period of time for breaking the restraining order) And yes I should have which I know, yes he should take responsibility for his actions and not myself. See the thing is that i know all of this and feel there is a reason I hesistated (because of my brother?) but I finally did it! I called he was arrested and realeased pending a hearing next week-which he will be placed in jail- Since this happened he has again contacted me "begging me to drop this that he does not want to spend his summer in jail he has learned his lesson" Ummm hello LEARNED HIS LESSON as he is calling me after just being arrested?! Ha Ha Ummmmm NO!

The sad thing is he needs to because there is something else I believe going on with him besides being an A-and for the main reason he is still harrasing me and stalking me- part of me is feeling he may snap although he has never been physically abusive, part of me feels sad for him (which is normal from my own family issues) and part of me does not want to see him go to jail.

I guess what I'm searching for is not someone to make my choices because I make those in life but just some guidance or reassurance that I'm doing what I know is the right thing and how do you get beyond those feeling sad for them? Although at the same time your drained beaten into the ground from the continually non-stop abusiveness.

I'm very glad to be here! Thank you!