InLimbo

My entire body is shaking and Im not sure what to do. My mother just called me and said my brother ( crack addict) came home. He lives with her, was not using for about 2 months and last monday went out and hasnt been home until right now. He has never come home high and she has never seen this. He has no voice, he is braking stuff saying its all her fault hes messed up, she told him to get out and he went nuts. Yelling, breaking stuff in his room, told her to go ahead call the cops. Blah blah blah. My brother has been a drug user/addict for many years. Hes 40 and its been probably 17+ years. Hes in and out of jail. But when not using the greatest guy and someone you would want to be friends with.
I told my mother to say nothing to him NOTHING.. Dont provoke him. We have never seen him like this, he never came aroung high. Only when the high was over would he come back home. Then he would be good for some time. Could be a week could be 6 months.
Im scared for my mother. I told her to call the police if she feels threatened in anyway. Did I advise her ok? should I go there? Hes looking for money. I think hes coming down and NEEDS more drugs. I know she wont give him any but them what??? Im sorry for rambeling. please give me advise

kj0975

She should call the cops immediatly or you should call for her. Your brother has no right to act like this and its all because he ran out of money and is throwing a fit. Its his addiction that is making him act like this, he will only continue do this everytime he wants his own way. She shouldnt need to be scared in her own home. Call the police and have him removed sure he'll be mad but at least he wont be a threat to your mother anymore.

InLimbo

My mom just called me and she said he is passed out. Sleeping. She went in his jacket pocket and took her house key.
I dont think she will call the police now that hes out cold.
Boy that was fast.. one extream to the next. Is this normal? How long will it take to sleep off a 6 day crack binge? What should she expect when he comes to?

Done_With_It

He'll probably sleep for a few days, then he'll be depressed, maybe suicidal, typical comedown after being on a high, he may be remorseful for how he acted or not remember. Or he may just leave to try and get more drugs.

Good call on taking the key...

BigSis

And another "next step" would be for her to find an Alanon or Naranon meeting for tonight.

A place where she can go and where folks will immediately understand. She can put Alanon and her city into any search engine to find a meeting nearby.

Having my kids OUT of the house during active use is the only way I could find ANY peace at all....AND, more importantly to me as a mom, it was the ONLY way my kids to learn how to behave as adults.

The only way they would be motivated to save themselves was when I stopped saving them.

I hope this helps.

((hugs))

mooselips

InLimbo,
Very scarey for your mom.
Does she attend any meetings?
Is she in denial regarding his drug use?
I know I was in denial for a long time....


Hugs, glads she's safe, and he's asleep.

InLimbo

No shes not in denial about his drug use. She has just never seen it first hand. Like I said before he NEVER came home high. When he did come home hed always would say that he doesn't want to use drugs, he would cry, he would tell her how sorry he is, he has been in programs but has never stuck to anything. He needs to go away to a program and he knows it but doesn't know how to get in one. He has no money to pay for one. He lives in NYC. Hes been to Daytop but I guess never worked the program and ended up giving into the craving for the drug. Its a never ending cycle. I feel so bad for my mom. She says she will never give up on her son, she says how can a mother put her child on the street. She said she could not live thinking he could be cold or hungry. I know this is hurting him and helping him continue his abuse but what can I say to her? She just says one day when your a mother you'll see.!!
She will never attend a meeting unfortunately. I just know it..
Does anyone know of any live in free programs in NY?

InLimbo

Anvilhead-Thank you! I agree with every word you said. I will have a talk with my mom. One good thing is she listens to what I have to say and she thinks hard about it.
Sometimes you need things to be told to you the way you just did. It opens up the mind.
Thank you for the blunt honesty. Thats what Im here for.

Barbdee

I posted two websites the other day that I got from the HBO addiction series on finding help. Relying on my memory, http://www.drugstrategies.com and http://www.samhsa.gov
When I was in your place, I just kept calling the state's drug hotline, but they ended up sending me to a place that was complete scam. (currently being prosecuted)
I haven't gone through those sites myself, but according to the HBO special, they offer as many possibilities as possible.
Wishing you the best...
**{hugs}}SM

teke

just want to say that you and your family are in my prayers, i hope you brother finds his way soon and your mom too. sorry that this is happening to to mom.

OurBigSecret

Just want to say that I feel for you because I have the same situation with my mother and brother, only my mother has seen my brother's addiction firsthand many times. It only gets worse and worse.
Even though it sounds like your mom is in denial (mine certainly is) I would tell her to be careful if he comes around acting like this again because you never know what could happen. You never want to believe that your own child could do something bad but drugs make you do crazy things. My mother has done and said things she thought she would never do either. When my brother is in the grip of his addiction he isn't thinking clearly. Sometimes I think I'm going to get the call that he killed her. I know you may think that sounds extreme. So did I, at one point. Addiction changes everything. Your mom needs to take care of herself.
Good Luck!

Jewelz

Limbo, welcome to sr I dont believe I have met you before. My boyfriend is a crack addict... so much of what you described happened to my abf and his mom a week ago... I could have sworn it was someone in his family describing the ordeal that went on over here. We also are in nyc and yes I know of one program that is free for men. If he is open to it he can go into the Salvation army, it's free and dont charge anything... he would go to meetings, groups and also work for them for their services. They are pretty good.. not the best but I believe if someone wants the recovery they would still grab hold of what they learn from there. My abf has been there twice but he used it to get through parole. Or he could also apply for medicaid in nyc and be able to have a choice of several programs here.

I am praying for your family.

Hugs,
Jewel

mooselips

((((Limbo))))
Just wanted to add a note here, for your mum.
When I first came here, a man by the name of Jon, ran Sober Recovery.
At the time, unfortunately, I thought I could "love" my sons out of addiction, (plus I was a control freak...LOL)

Here is what Jon told me, and it really struck home.

"You can enable your sons to their deaths"
And it's true. By enabling, "helping", our addicts, we are giving them more energy and money to use. We cannot be their "soft spot to land" we end up getting between where their H.P. wants to lead them.

Sure hope your mom decides to attend meetings, they are really, truly a Godsend.

Hugs to you, and your mom, and prayers for your brother.

bookmiser

(((((Limbo))))))

Sending prayers out to you, your mom, and your brother.