LiLL

My AH is invited to join a soccer match of his company and my head is immediately filled with imaginations of him drinking beer with the guys afterwards…. (He’s been to these high-risk events before, was able to refuse drinking on some occasions, and slipped on the others)
Should I say anything at all?? Doesn’t he have all the right to decide what activities to join and how to handle his recovery? I guess what I want to say to him, he already knows.
I should just let him, let God Right? Right?

cmc

The only one we can really 'let' is God anyway... AH will do as he chooses, just like I have to choose what I will or won't do. It doesn't always make it easier to know and do what we need to. Maybe saying what you wanted to say here instead of to him will have helped you feel better.
I'm glad you shared with us here as you answered your own question!

ICU

LiLL,

I understand where you are coming from, truly I do! That type of thinking is normal for awhile. Hopefully in time, the fear lessens and we don't think of it that way as much. As long as their actions are good, we can begin to learn to trust! But, it's progress, not perfection, right?

Now, when he's out playing soccer, what FUN thing are you going to do for yourself? That way, when he's done with his game, and you are done doing what ever fun thing you decide to do, you BOTH will have something nice to share with each other afterwards. It will give you both something to look forward to.

LiLL

Hehe, I actually talk to myself a lot these days! There're still two voices in my head. One asking me to talk to my AH about the risks he's taking by going to the game and to give him some "advice"... the other voice asking me to just detach.... luckily, this time the latter voice is much louder. i'm glad you people are here to give me the assurance i need!

What a great great idea!! Thank you for reminding me to have fun for myself!

hope2bhappy

I slipped and said something to my AH last night. He said, "Aren't you kind of getting into MY business?" Ouch! Yep, I was. I have to KEEP reminding myself.