susankay

i have realized i need to step out of my only daughers life becouse of her life choices-heroin.been 4-6 yrs lost count.cant handle it anymore my life is falling apart.depression panic and hopelessness, i need advise,already use alanon, and see a doc, and take meds. the idea of my one and only child beautiful and talented will live with this forever makes me feel hopeless

Pick-a-name

(((susankay))) I'm so sorry for your despair but glad you found your way back here to us who understand alot of what you are feeling and going through. Stick around....I have found it to be a help,even when I didn't know it was.

hope2bhappy

Hopeless... so sorry you are going through this. It is hard enough to lose a spouse to addiction... I can only imagine how painful it is to watch your child go through this. Sounds like you are already doing all the things you are supposed to be doing for yourself. Have you considered doing an intervention for your daughter?

Sunflower

I hear you my only adult son is an A---I will say it again--I was sure I would be burying him by now--but---he is now sober for over half a year---miricles do happen---and I am praying you get one....

Nuudawn

Oh Susan,
How horribly painful this must be for you. I wish words or wisdom could truly bring comfort. When it comes to your child, I simply can't imagine the pain and frustration and overwhelming powerlessness you must feel. You and your daughter will be in my prayers tonight.

parentrecovers

welcome, susan - it's nice to meet you. i'm a mom of a struggling recovering alcoholic/addict daughter. i understand your pain. blessings, k

un4gvn acts

Susankay
I am so sorry for the pain that you are going thru. I have no advice to give you because I am not in a mother/child situation - my AH/addict is a spouse. But I will tell you to keep posting - we are all here for you!
Payers go out to you today!
hug hug hug hug hug hug hugs
Sage

socalgal

Your post struck a chord with me. I am a recovering alcoholic myself. I am also a mother of two. My kids were born after I stopped drinking so they have never "lived with the active disease". Nevertheless, one of my biggest fears is that one or both of them will suffer the same misery that I did. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, let alone my children. The despair at seeing the suffering of one you love so much, especially a child, can't be adequately put into words.

It sounds like you are doing everything that you can for yourself. Please, take care and know that you and your daughter are in all of our prayers.

Never give up hope. There was a time that my mother, no doubt, felt the pain and hopelessness that you do. She didn't give up on me, and for that I am eternally grateful. I have been sober for 13 years now. I am sure she wondered if she would ever see the day. Miracles can happen.

-K

WantsOut

Susankay, you may need to learn to detach in your actions, but you can always keep hope alive in your heart. It's so hard to watch it all happen. Sometimes we just need to look away.

I wish you peace.

Tenderheart

Dear Susankay: I am where you are, but have been dealing with it for about 7-8 years now with my AS. I can tell you from experience that it takes some time before you reach the place where you realize you have to detach... for them...for you. Detachment is as much an act of love as trying to help, except it helps to bring the substance abuser to an end with him/herself. As long as you "are there for them" they will use and abuse you to your last dime, last minute of time and your mind will be in distress about them 24/7. When you've had enough, start thinking about yourself and let God take care of your daughter. He is with her 24/7 and knows her every thought and deed and without your help can bring her to an end to herself real quick -- you just need to get out of the way and let that happen. Believe me, I know the pain you are experiencing - my AS has lost his car and will lose his apartment next month. God has been patient with him for 8 years now. He is at a crossroad and I don't want to do anything that will interfere with putting him in that position. Trust me.. you are doing the right thing - for youself - for her. Be strong and care enough to let go.

Sunflower

OK I could let go but never to the point where I made myself unavail--after all he is my blood-my son-It did take a long time to let go as far as--whatever he does he does ect...if he drinks he drinks--I can't control him--but I was always there for him if he needed my support....