WTF is it going to take?
Get Caught Reading
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
WTF is it going to take?
Death?
I just can't take these late night calls anymore.
I was at work last night when the phone rang.
There were only 2 of us there to answer the phone,
Thank God it was me that answered. It was my as screaming at his dad.
It took just a few seconds to realize this call was for me.
I took the phone into the breakroom and started yelling into the phone for him to talk to me. Then the phone went dead. Less than a minute later
it rang again...
Apparently, after work, these idiots thought they'd play cards and have a few
beers. Then my exah pulls out a bottle of whiskey.
As says he doesn't want any, (he said. who really knows?) so exah is
swigging. They get into an arguement. Exah slammed the door on my as's hand. He wants me to come and get him, take him to the hospital.
I am tempted to call the police and screw the whole bunch o' em.
I told him I'd call him back, after I get to my car.
I call, busy. Call again. Busy! Aaaarrrrrggggg! I'm going home.
Phone rings and he says that his cousin hung up on him, dad won't give the car keys to grandma to drive him to the hospital. I told him to call 911.
He says no, the cops will show up if I call 911. I told him that is the only way he's getting there. I am not coming. I'm feeling overwhelmed with guilt by this time.
Hubby wants me to stop talking to him. I hang up after he screams that someone has called the police on him, and he has to go hide. I am in tears and freaking out. Hubby says, well get your coat and let's go. I say no.
I finally call him back. There were no cops. He just thought he saw cop car lights. Wtf? He says grandma is taking him to the hospital and he will talk to me tomorrow. I get up this morning, and there's a voicemail on my phone. (I turned it off last night at 1 am)
Says there's a bone broken in his hand and he has to go back to hospital and see a specialist at another time. I'm sure they gave him pain meds to do until then. Great! Give him pain meds.
What is it going to take? I moved here with 1 addict, and now I seem to be dealing with 2.
The reason I answered the phone is 1. it was a work phone and I had to.
2. The way he was crying tore me up. I had to talk to him.
3. I'm an idiot.
I have to cut this short, sorry. Gotta go back to work.
I just wanted to put this out there for some sort of support.
I know what I should do, what I need to do...
I just hurt for my addict today. Any thoughts? Don't be too harsh. lol
Just kidding. Go ahead and give it to me straight. I need to hear it.
Thanks for reading this book...
Love to all,
I just can't take these late night calls anymore.
I was at work last night when the phone rang.
There were only 2 of us there to answer the phone,
Thank God it was me that answered. It was my as screaming at his dad.
It took just a few seconds to realize this call was for me.
I took the phone into the breakroom and started yelling into the phone for him to talk to me. Then the phone went dead. Less than a minute later
it rang again...
Apparently, after work, these idiots thought they'd play cards and have a few
beers. Then my exah pulls out a bottle of whiskey.
As says he doesn't want any, (he said. who really knows?) so exah is
swigging. They get into an arguement. Exah slammed the door on my as's hand. He wants me to come and get him, take him to the hospital.
I am tempted to call the police and screw the whole bunch o' em.
I told him I'd call him back, after I get to my car.
I call, busy. Call again. Busy! Aaaarrrrrggggg! I'm going home.
Phone rings and he says that his cousin hung up on him, dad won't give the car keys to grandma to drive him to the hospital. I told him to call 911.
He says no, the cops will show up if I call 911. I told him that is the only way he's getting there. I am not coming. I'm feeling overwhelmed with guilt by this time.
Hubby wants me to stop talking to him. I hang up after he screams that someone has called the police on him, and he has to go hide. I am in tears and freaking out. Hubby says, well get your coat and let's go. I say no.
I finally call him back. There were no cops. He just thought he saw cop car lights. Wtf? He says grandma is taking him to the hospital and he will talk to me tomorrow. I get up this morning, and there's a voicemail on my phone. (I turned it off last night at 1 am)
Says there's a bone broken in his hand and he has to go back to hospital and see a specialist at another time. I'm sure they gave him pain meds to do until then. Great! Give him pain meds.
What is it going to take? I moved here with 1 addict, and now I seem to be dealing with 2.
The reason I answered the phone is 1. it was a work phone and I had to.
2. The way he was crying tore me up. I had to talk to him.
3. I'm an idiot.
I have to cut this short, sorry. Gotta go back to work.
I just wanted to put this out there for some sort of support.
I know what I should do, what I need to do...
I just hurt for my addict today. Any thoughts? Don't be too harsh. lol
Just kidding. Go ahead and give it to me straight. I need to hear it.
Thanks for reading this book...
Love to all,
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Texarkana, Texas
Posts: 585
I "thanked you for the useful post" when I meant to hit the reply button!! LOL!
Anyways, sorry you are going through such a bunch of chaotic crap. That sounds like a real nightmare, especially when they are calling you at work---hard to concentrate, I know!!
I don't have harsh words for you, I just suggest that this would be a good time to practice detachment. Of course, the broken hand is a bad thing, but he did it to himself. When he was crying, it might have been genuine emotion at the time, because addicts cannot control their emotions when they are "in their cups", but it is also manipulation. Crying is one of the easiest manipulatory tools for an addict to use, especially men, because in our society men don't usually cry unless they are really hurting. I'm not saying it was an act, I am just saying it is common. Kind of like babies....they cry until they get what they want.
Meditate, pray and stay strong. Examine your emotions and try to find out what is really going on inside YOU.
Peace,
Sandy
Anyways, sorry you are going through such a bunch of chaotic crap. That sounds like a real nightmare, especially when they are calling you at work---hard to concentrate, I know!!
I don't have harsh words for you, I just suggest that this would be a good time to practice detachment. Of course, the broken hand is a bad thing, but he did it to himself. When he was crying, it might have been genuine emotion at the time, because addicts cannot control their emotions when they are "in their cups", but it is also manipulation. Crying is one of the easiest manipulatory tools for an addict to use, especially men, because in our society men don't usually cry unless they are really hurting. I'm not saying it was an act, I am just saying it is common. Kind of like babies....they cry until they get what they want.
Meditate, pray and stay strong. Examine your emotions and try to find out what is really going on inside YOU.
Peace,
Sandy
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
i think that you are doing all you know how to do, i can't tell you when its gonna stop. my little bro, god rest his soul, used to do us like this all the time, and so did my girls when they had these fights with these husbands of theirs. i got so tired and decided that i wasn't coming to their rescue anymore, for them to tell me "i'm ok, now mom", after they have gotten me all upset, then they are ok.
i told them that the next time they called me with the drama, that i was gonna send the police if they didn't call them. then i'd just going into full force prayer mode until i heard from them again. the next time they tried me, i just told them that i didn't want to hear it and hung up. they stopped calling me and started handling their own busness.
i know how acary this can be, but what can you do? didn't you say that you were miles away from them. how old is your son? you said that he was working, is he old enough to get his own place maybe a room somewhere or a roommate? i'm sorry that you are having to go through this. i bet you kind of thought that your troubles were kind of over, when you sent him to live with dad, huh? why do they think that mom is the savior of the hour, every hour. kids! sometimes they want to be adults but don't always want to do what responsible adults do. i have 7 of them and i know how it could be. still praying for ya
i told them that the next time they called me with the drama, that i was gonna send the police if they didn't call them. then i'd just going into full force prayer mode until i heard from them again. the next time they tried me, i just told them that i didn't want to hear it and hung up. they stopped calling me and started handling their own busness.
i know how acary this can be, but what can you do? didn't you say that you were miles away from them. how old is your son? you said that he was working, is he old enough to get his own place maybe a room somewhere or a roommate? i'm sorry that you are having to go through this. i bet you kind of thought that your troubles were kind of over, when you sent him to live with dad, huh? why do they think that mom is the savior of the hour, every hour. kids! sometimes they want to be adults but don't always want to do what responsible adults do. i have 7 of them and i know how it could be. still praying for ya
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
(((Linda))) Recovery is a process, not an event.
You are getting better at disentangling yourself from the chaos. Each step you take in that direction is PROGRESS. At some point, you will be able to hang up on him WITHOUT hearing the details of the drama. I believe that will make him call less... without an audience, he doesn't get what he is looking for.
You are doing well.... don't be so hard on yourself. ((hugs))
You are getting better at disentangling yourself from the chaos. Each step you take in that direction is PROGRESS. At some point, you will be able to hang up on him WITHOUT hearing the details of the drama. I believe that will make him call less... without an audience, he doesn't get what he is looking for.
You are doing well.... don't be so hard on yourself. ((hugs))
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Linda, I think that it is okay to hurt for our addicted children. But rather than beat yourself up for it try accepting it. You really did good when you realize that you listened to his sob story but you did not call the police, you did not run out there to help and you did not offer him a solution. That is progress. Sometimes it is okay to do nothing. When my daughter was coming to visit she told me a few stories that broke my heart. But I did nothing. I listened and that was all. Did it bother me. Did I want to fix it. Yes to both, but I did nothing and that in itself is a huge accomplishment. So give yourself a pat on the back and realize that listening is not the same as enabling and that you will be okay. Hugs, Marle
'Round and 'Round I Go....
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 478
Book...It is so hard not to get drawn into the chaos and drama when there are loved ones willing and able to not only draw you in but also be the ones to create the drama and chaos.
Okay....so I'll give it to you straight....you ready?
You did good. Imagine that...yes...you did good. You pulled yourself away from it. You let them handle their own mess. And....you turned off your phone so that you could get a good nights sleep. As for your feelings....you're human. If we could just shut off our emotions and feelings and thoughts just at a snap of a finger....well...WELL....we would all still be with our addicts because we would remain unaffected by them. We wouldn't be kicking out or trying to detach from our husbands, children, wives, sisters, brothers......
You are human and you did good.
Was I too harsh? Didn't mean to be.....
Okay....so I'll give it to you straight....you ready?
You did good. Imagine that...yes...you did good. You pulled yourself away from it. You let them handle their own mess. And....you turned off your phone so that you could get a good nights sleep. As for your feelings....you're human. If we could just shut off our emotions and feelings and thoughts just at a snap of a finger....well...WELL....we would all still be with our addicts because we would remain unaffected by them. We wouldn't be kicking out or trying to detach from our husbands, children, wives, sisters, brothers......
You are human and you did good.
Was I too harsh? Didn't mean to be.....
remember to breathe
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: philadelphia pa
Posts: 1,280
so sorry you're feeling so blue.
You sound like you're doing all you can for him now it's time for him to grow up. You're a good mom darn it and you need some peace (thats as harsh as I'll get) you already know what to do so I hope you find your strength to do it and feel ok with it beause no matter what you do it's ok!!
god speed
You sound like you're doing all you can for him now it's time for him to grow up. You're a good mom darn it and you need some peace (thats as harsh as I'll get) you already know what to do so I hope you find your strength to do it and feel ok with it beause no matter what you do it's ok!!
god speed
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Books,
Well hugs to you, my friend. I can't say when it's going to stop, I sure wish I knew, in fact, I never knew when the chaos and drama with both of my sons would stop....... if ever.
Let's just put it out there, nice and clear:
You're a mom.
It hurts your heart to see your son hurting.
It's VERY hard to detach, when, years ago,
you use to hold that baby boy in your arms,
and tell him, everything will be okay.
It's what mothers do.
Is it a good thing to keep rescuing?
(we all know that answer...LOL)
All you can do, is as I've been doing. KEEP TRYING!
Like Sis said, it's a process.
Big hugs from one mom to another....
Well hugs to you, my friend. I can't say when it's going to stop, I sure wish I knew, in fact, I never knew when the chaos and drama with both of my sons would stop....... if ever.
Let's just put it out there, nice and clear:
You're a mom.
It hurts your heart to see your son hurting.
It's VERY hard to detach, when, years ago,
you use to hold that baby boy in your arms,
and tell him, everything will be okay.
It's what mothers do.
Is it a good thing to keep rescuing?
(we all know that answer...LOL)
All you can do, is as I've been doing. KEEP TRYING!
Like Sis said, it's a process.
Big hugs from one mom to another....
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Book,
Yes, he is your son, but, he is also an adult and makes his own choices, ones that you have no control over. I have to agree with your hubby, don't answer the phone, you are accomplishing nothing except upseting yourself...there is nothing you can do, except let go.
You are allowing your son to step into every fiber of you, your life, only you can stop the insanity.
This has been going on for a long time, you love your son, love him enough to let go, turn him over to the HP, for him...not you.
You are in my prayers,
Yes, he is your son, but, he is also an adult and makes his own choices, ones that you have no control over. I have to agree with your hubby, don't answer the phone, you are accomplishing nothing except upseting yourself...there is nothing you can do, except let go.
You are allowing your son to step into every fiber of you, your life, only you can stop the insanity.
This has been going on for a long time, you love your son, love him enough to let go, turn him over to the HP, for him...not you.
You are in my prayers,
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
(((((Linda))))))
My heart hurts for you, hon. It really does.
Stop beating yourself up.
You did great, girlfriend...you really did.
You didn't go running out there.
You didn't try to 'fix' the situation.
You held your ground.
Give yourself the credit that is due.
Now...the pain that only a mother could feel over all of this...Well, if we had a way to turn that off, we'd be millionaires by now. You can't stop being a mom. You don't want to anyway...not really....right? (The thought might be tempting right now, I know).
For YOUR sake Linda...Not theirs...hang up the phone at the first hint of drama. Just hang it up. Your son caught you off guard this time by calling you at work...but next time, you'll be prepared...I'm sure of it.
Love ya, Linda.
I really do.
Hugs...hugs...hugs...
My heart hurts for you, hon. It really does.
Stop beating yourself up.
You did great, girlfriend...you really did.
You didn't go running out there.
You didn't try to 'fix' the situation.
You held your ground.
Give yourself the credit that is due.
Now...the pain that only a mother could feel over all of this...Well, if we had a way to turn that off, we'd be millionaires by now. You can't stop being a mom. You don't want to anyway...not really....right? (The thought might be tempting right now, I know).
For YOUR sake Linda...Not theirs...hang up the phone at the first hint of drama. Just hang it up. Your son caught you off guard this time by calling you at work...but next time, you'll be prepared...I'm sure of it.
Love ya, Linda.
I really do.
Hugs...hugs...hugs...
Get Caught Reading
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
For starters, just let me say, that I have never felt closer to anyone, than I do with you all. Not even a relative, lol. I love you guys. Alot!
I am so tired tonight, I'll tell ya.
I worked an 8 hour shift, with a 2-hour meeting thrown right in the middle of it. Thank God they brought tortillas and salsa. Then strawberries and cream cheesecake. Yummy!
Talked to as around 11:30 this morning on my lunch break.
At first, he tried to say that he's never drank this much before and it's all due to my kicking him out of my place and him having to go live with his alcoholic dad. I then said, "see ya" and hung up.
Later, after I got off at 7:00, I called again. I asked if they gave him medicine for pain last night. He said she gave him a prescription for ibuprofen 800 and he threw it back at the lady and told her he wasn't spending his money on stupid tylenol. Whatever!
I then asked him when he was going to get his life together, and he said, "I don't know, mom. I just don't know."
I told him that he has alot of thinkin' to do and that I would let him go to do it. End of call.
Tropik- thanks for the support. I have to remind myself of the 3 C's a few times a month. lol
Teke- I cannot imagine having 7 children. My goodness! 2 of them is plenty for me to handle. lol
Thanks for the support, sweetie. I do live about an hours drive from him, and it was about 11:30 pm when I left work. Then I had to be back into work at 11:00 am this morning. I kept telling him to call 911, but he didn't want the cops to show up. He has warrants, and has violated probation. If he's caught, he'll have to go back to Pennsylvania for about 18 months. Last night, I should have been praying for that to happen, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I don't know...
He's 25, btw. I told him today, I'd like to know where he's gonna be at 40?
anvilhead- I've got alot of thinkin' to do about your suggestion, lol.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm still in denial. If I pretend it's not going on...it'll just go away. Then something like last night happens and brings it all back up to the surface. I was so glad that he finally got another job. Just to get him out of the house every day, instead of sittin' around drinkin', ya know? Then I worried about the money he was going to make. I could go on and on... lol
Thanks for bringing up a valid point. I really need to figure out how to stop his insanity from affecting me so much. Huh! Now i feel guilty for saying that.
lol.
kj- hugs back to ya. thanks, I needed'em.
Sis, Sis, Sis- YOU are my imperial guam, or whatever Cuba Gooding, Jr. told
Jerry McGuire in that movie. You are the Sh*t!
Thank you for reminding me about progress. I have come a long way, baby!
And I intend to keep on, keepin' on. Love to you, dear friend.
Marle- I feel that "we" are like twins, somehow. You and I are 2 peas in a very tight, suffocating, wish-I-could-just-kill'em-and-get-it-over-with pod.
Thank you much for your support and understanding. I love you, gf.
Wheretobegin- I'm sending prayers and support your way, too, then.
I wouldn't wish this crap on my worst enemy. lol Thank you.
Cupicake- where ya been, girl? I've missed ya. Thanks for your "harshness".
I needed the love. I love you too. Now get your butt here more often and fill us in on your life. I pray it's well. Love to you.
Rahsue- I like the way you think, lady. lol
I pray for stength daily, and God does provide me with just enough to see me through. Can't ask for more than that. Your a tough cookie, and I love ya for it. Peace!
Parent- I know you've had troubles lately, yourself. Thank you for taking time out for me and mine. Prayers and hugs to you, my friend.
hopeforever- Thank you so much for the prayers. I have a hard time letting go of guilt sometimes. But I refuse to let it eat me up, ya know? I always try to rationalize it, and turn it over to God, but every so often...
Your a true friend. Thank you.
Moose- I'm gonna keep tryin' sweetie. lol Thanks for the reminder.
You actually made me cry a little bit there. (sad smile)
I hate thinking about when he was little. Sometimes, it just hurts too d*mn much to do that. We'll keep doing this together. Whataya say?
Prayers to you and for your boys.
Brownie- Thanks for your support. It's very much appreciated. You need me?
I'm there. lol
Dolly- Out of everyone here, I knew you would give it to me straight.
I dig that about you! (ha! another quote from Jerry McGuire)
I needed to hear from you today, friend. You tell it like it is...or should be.
D*mn, your tough, but I love ya, anyway.
Thank you, and prayers back atcha.
Ooal- Thank you so much, out. Your right, he caught me off guard. (eyes rolling, lol) Sometimes, I have to remind myself, "hey, lady. Your answer that phone, you'll be d*mn sorry, and most of the time, I am. Your such a good friend, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for lifting me up today.
I love you, too.
Thank you all for making me feel better tonight. I needed it and will give it back tenfold. Just ask. Your all truly amazing people.
I am a strong white woman. (well, it was kinda like that in Jerry McGuire.
Think I'll go relax in front of the tube and watch it now. lol)
I am so tired tonight, I'll tell ya.
I worked an 8 hour shift, with a 2-hour meeting thrown right in the middle of it. Thank God they brought tortillas and salsa. Then strawberries and cream cheesecake. Yummy!
Talked to as around 11:30 this morning on my lunch break.
At first, he tried to say that he's never drank this much before and it's all due to my kicking him out of my place and him having to go live with his alcoholic dad. I then said, "see ya" and hung up.
Later, after I got off at 7:00, I called again. I asked if they gave him medicine for pain last night. He said she gave him a prescription for ibuprofen 800 and he threw it back at the lady and told her he wasn't spending his money on stupid tylenol. Whatever!
I then asked him when he was going to get his life together, and he said, "I don't know, mom. I just don't know."
I told him that he has alot of thinkin' to do and that I would let him go to do it. End of call.
Tropik- thanks for the support. I have to remind myself of the 3 C's a few times a month. lol
Teke- I cannot imagine having 7 children. My goodness! 2 of them is plenty for me to handle. lol
Thanks for the support, sweetie. I do live about an hours drive from him, and it was about 11:30 pm when I left work. Then I had to be back into work at 11:00 am this morning. I kept telling him to call 911, but he didn't want the cops to show up. He has warrants, and has violated probation. If he's caught, he'll have to go back to Pennsylvania for about 18 months. Last night, I should have been praying for that to happen, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I don't know...
He's 25, btw. I told him today, I'd like to know where he's gonna be at 40?
anvilhead- I've got alot of thinkin' to do about your suggestion, lol.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm still in denial. If I pretend it's not going on...it'll just go away. Then something like last night happens and brings it all back up to the surface. I was so glad that he finally got another job. Just to get him out of the house every day, instead of sittin' around drinkin', ya know? Then I worried about the money he was going to make. I could go on and on... lol
Thanks for bringing up a valid point. I really need to figure out how to stop his insanity from affecting me so much. Huh! Now i feel guilty for saying that.
lol.
kj- hugs back to ya. thanks, I needed'em.
Sis, Sis, Sis- YOU are my imperial guam, or whatever Cuba Gooding, Jr. told
Jerry McGuire in that movie. You are the Sh*t!
Thank you for reminding me about progress. I have come a long way, baby!
And I intend to keep on, keepin' on. Love to you, dear friend.
Marle- I feel that "we" are like twins, somehow. You and I are 2 peas in a very tight, suffocating, wish-I-could-just-kill'em-and-get-it-over-with pod.
Thank you much for your support and understanding. I love you, gf.
Wheretobegin- I'm sending prayers and support your way, too, then.
I wouldn't wish this crap on my worst enemy. lol Thank you.
Cupicake- where ya been, girl? I've missed ya. Thanks for your "harshness".
I needed the love. I love you too. Now get your butt here more often and fill us in on your life. I pray it's well. Love to you.
Rahsue- I like the way you think, lady. lol
I pray for stength daily, and God does provide me with just enough to see me through. Can't ask for more than that. Your a tough cookie, and I love ya for it. Peace!
Parent- I know you've had troubles lately, yourself. Thank you for taking time out for me and mine. Prayers and hugs to you, my friend.
hopeforever- Thank you so much for the prayers. I have a hard time letting go of guilt sometimes. But I refuse to let it eat me up, ya know? I always try to rationalize it, and turn it over to God, but every so often...
Your a true friend. Thank you.
Moose- I'm gonna keep tryin' sweetie. lol Thanks for the reminder.
You actually made me cry a little bit there. (sad smile)
I hate thinking about when he was little. Sometimes, it just hurts too d*mn much to do that. We'll keep doing this together. Whataya say?
Prayers to you and for your boys.
Brownie- Thanks for your support. It's very much appreciated. You need me?
I'm there. lol
Dolly- Out of everyone here, I knew you would give it to me straight.
I dig that about you! (ha! another quote from Jerry McGuire)
I needed to hear from you today, friend. You tell it like it is...or should be.
D*mn, your tough, but I love ya, anyway.
Thank you, and prayers back atcha.
Ooal- Thank you so much, out. Your right, he caught me off guard. (eyes rolling, lol) Sometimes, I have to remind myself, "hey, lady. Your answer that phone, you'll be d*mn sorry, and most of the time, I am. Your such a good friend, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for lifting me up today.
I love you, too.
Thank you all for making me feel better tonight. I needed it and will give it back tenfold. Just ask. Your all truly amazing people.
I am a strong white woman. (well, it was kinda like that in Jerry McGuire.
Think I'll go relax in front of the tube and watch it now. lol)
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
i do understand you not calling the cops, i never had to with my girls, only threaten to, if they needed to then they started doing it themselves. i would tell them to call me back after they talk to the police. i guess i was kind of selling wolf tickets, if you know what i mean, anyway, they kind of stop calling me at the sign of every little trouble. my mom did all 6 of us the same way, so i don't know any better.
glad that you're able to just hang up now, i bet that feel better, huh?
glad that you're able to just hang up now, i bet that feel better, huh?
Grateful Member!
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Shampoohorn City
Posts: 246
Originally Posted by Cupicake 
Book...It is so hard not to get drawn into the chaos and drama when there are loved ones willing and able to not only draw you in but also be the ones to create the drama and chaos.
Okay....so I'll give it to you straight....you ready?
You did good. Imagine that...yes...you did good. You pulled yourself away from it. You let them handle their own mess. And....you turned off your phone so that you could get a good nights sleep. As for your feelings....you're human. If we could just shut off our emotions and feelings and thoughts just at a snap of a finger....well...WELL....we would all still be with our addicts because we would remain unaffected by them. We wouldn't be kicking out or trying to detach from our husbands, children, wives, sisters, brothers......
You are human and you did good.
Okay....so I'll give it to you straight....you ready?
You did good. Imagine that...yes...you did good. You pulled yourself away from it. You let them handle their own mess. And....you turned off your phone so that you could get a good nights sleep. As for your feelings....you're human. If we could just shut off our emotions and feelings and thoughts just at a snap of a finger....well...WELL....we would all still be with our addicts because we would remain unaffected by them. We wouldn't be kicking out or trying to detach from our husbands, children, wives, sisters, brothers......
You are human and you did good.
Bridge CLOSED
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
You can't be answering the phone because it is hurting YOU. You are WAY to important to be hurt and taken advantage of.
You son is a grown up and I cannot imagine how hard this is...
but I will share this one thought... if you keep being drawn in and you get all broken down, how will you ever garner the respect you need for yourself to set an example of what recovery can do for him? Besides, you show us examples here pretty often so you CAN do it.
I really think you are just terrific and you know enough to work through this. Just offering a steady hand so you can walk across the recovery bridge!
You son is a grown up and I cannot imagine how hard this is...
but I will share this one thought... if you keep being drawn in and you get all broken down, how will you ever garner the respect you need for yourself to set an example of what recovery can do for him? Besides, you show us examples here pretty often so you CAN do it.
I really think you are just terrific and you know enough to work through this. Just offering a steady hand so you can walk across the recovery bridge!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Faith~Hope~Love
Posts: 963
(((Linda)))
Just sending some extra love and prayers your way, because I know how hard this is. They pull at our heartstrings, they do, and the fear can keep us right in the middle of the chaos. The only way I was able to step back was to turn both of my boys over to my HP and pray that He would keep them safe.
huge hugs ~
deedee
Just sending some extra love and prayers your way, because I know how hard this is. They pull at our heartstrings, they do, and the fear can keep us right in the middle of the chaos. The only way I was able to step back was to turn both of my boys over to my HP and pray that He would keep them safe.
huge hugs ~
deedee
Last edited by deedee; 03-23-2007 at 05:30 AM.
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