new to forum husband/opiate addiction
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Utah
Posts: 3
new to forum husband/opiate addiction
Hi...I am new to this...my husband of 10 years is addicted to opiates. It started with pain pills (Loritab, Percocet)...he would take them when I had a prescription (from having a baby or tooth problems) which was rare...nothing serious. The last 2 or 3 years, he started buying them from friends....this progressed to Oxy's which he stuck to for a long time. I knew he was taking them and he knew I was against it...he became addicted...he has been honest about taking them and methadone inbetween...he has been taking suboxone for about 2 months now and 2 days ago he decided to quit that as well...so I know FOR SURE that he hasn't taken any opiates since then...now, he has totally come clean to me about what has really been going on...he has been using heroin for months because that is cheaper...I feel like he has stabbed a knife through my chest! He was diluting it in water and sniffing it through a nasal spray bottle (I knew this, but he told me it was oxy's in the bottle and that it was a way for him to take way less of them)...he also cut it and snorted the powder...he promises that he never smoked it or injected it and I believe him...I am looking for advice on how to deal with this. He goes to bed right when he gets home and he has been so sick. He is drinking heavily. I feel so alone because we don't want anyone to know. He does have a friend that I love that has been through this and has been clean for 2 years, so I have been talking to him, but I still feel so alone. I guess I am just looking for someone to talk to that has been through this. I would appreciate any advice....thanks
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Los Angeles CA
Posts: 149
hi- i can relate- my husband started taking my painkillers on the rare occassions i got them- it was kind of a "treat" for him, and i didn't take it seriously... then it got to where he was ordering them from the internet- then drinking more and more, getting depressed,REALLY depressed... i felt like i couldn't talk to anyone about it-- i didn't want to betray his habit to our friends or family, and i didn't know about alanon. the best thing i could recommend is that you go to Alanon, and posting here, and getting as much support as you can for YOU-- so you know what you're dealing with. this experience for me and i think for many others can be very isolating, and that just adds to the fear and stress you must be going through. in my experience, my husband was scared, but not able to stop- he tried, but ended up lying - it was progressive and before we knew it, he was a full blown AH, drinking in morning, sneaking around to down drinks in the bathroom, etc. he lost his job/had a breakdown and went to rehab. i thought that his getting sober was a new beginning, only i didn't realize just how much of a new beginning it was-- after he got sober, we faced new crisis-- getting sober is really hard, and our relationship didn't survive. he's struggling, and has left me for the second time, and he's asked me for a divorce. i am a mess, but if i didn't have alanon, and friends in AA, i can't even imagine how much more baffling this would be. keep posting, and welcome.
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
lovehim4ever, Welcome to SR, this is the greatest site ever. Guess it is a bit past bedtime for many on here, so might not have replys tonight, but they will come.
At first when you mentioned drugs I thought you perhaps should try the Nar-Anon site, and would be good, but then you mentioned he drinks, has he drank always? You are welcome on any of the SR sites, so would be where you get the most help.
My hubby drank, so I have no words of wisdom or suggestions, except read everything you can, read the stickys at the top where you started your thread. Lot to learn about how we can help ourselves, so sorry, but no advise, others share what they have been through, what they learned etc.
But, what is wonderful, you are not alone. Feel free to share anything, ask anything, no judgements here, in replys just take what you can use and leave the rest, mine too. Caring, understanding hugs
At first when you mentioned drugs I thought you perhaps should try the Nar-Anon site, and would be good, but then you mentioned he drinks, has he drank always? You are welcome on any of the SR sites, so would be where you get the most help.
My hubby drank, so I have no words of wisdom or suggestions, except read everything you can, read the stickys at the top where you started your thread. Lot to learn about how we can help ourselves, so sorry, but no advise, others share what they have been through, what they learned etc.
But, what is wonderful, you are not alone. Feel free to share anything, ask anything, no judgements here, in replys just take what you can use and leave the rest, mine too. Caring, understanding hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upper Kolobia
Posts: 153
You're In the Right Place . . .
As far as coming here. Emotionally and psychologically is whole 'nother deal, of course.
The advice about Nar-Anon is good if there are some solid meetings near you. If not, good old-fashioned Al-Anon can offer a lot of support.
A word about a program with a similar name, Narconon . . . I would avoid it since it's associated with a certain cult/religion I won't name but whose current guy-in-the-spotlight is a well-known actor who's been on Oprah bashing psychiatry recently.
12-Step programs are an entirely different matter, and in them you'll learn to detach in a manner that's healthy for you (what hooked me into Al-Anon was someone saying, "If you're obsessing about someone else's behavior, Al-Anon is for you).
Nobody is going to tell you it's a proverbial bed of roses, however . . . Addictive disease is a serious, often fatal problem. You'll hear, however, the "Three C's" in meetings, a) that you didn't Cause the problem; b) that you can't Cure the Problem; and c) that you can't Control it.
Probably doesn't sound hopeful, does it? What this does mean, though is we learn to put our focus back on ourselves and take it off the addict/alcoholic.
And that gives us new freedom to grow, regardless of our circumstances.
The advice about Nar-Anon is good if there are some solid meetings near you. If not, good old-fashioned Al-Anon can offer a lot of support.
A word about a program with a similar name, Narconon . . . I would avoid it since it's associated with a certain cult/religion I won't name but whose current guy-in-the-spotlight is a well-known actor who's been on Oprah bashing psychiatry recently.
12-Step programs are an entirely different matter, and in them you'll learn to detach in a manner that's healthy for you (what hooked me into Al-Anon was someone saying, "If you're obsessing about someone else's behavior, Al-Anon is for you).
Nobody is going to tell you it's a proverbial bed of roses, however . . . Addictive disease is a serious, often fatal problem. You'll hear, however, the "Three C's" in meetings, a) that you didn't Cause the problem; b) that you can't Cure the Problem; and c) that you can't Control it.
Probably doesn't sound hopeful, does it? What this does mean, though is we learn to put our focus back on ourselves and take it off the addict/alcoholic.
And that gives us new freedom to grow, regardless of our circumstances.
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