stillsearching

He walked into my daughters room (she is 8) and starts complaining about her shoes being in the way in her bedroom. She says they are on the floor. So this grown man then takes her papers from her dresser and her blanket and throws them on the floor and then tells her to pick it up. She tells him no.

He then tells her to pick up her stuff in the bathroom, so she goes to do that. I then hear her say let me go. So, I go to the bathroom and there he is trying to pin her up against the bathtub so she can't leave the bathroom. I tell him to let her go, he does then goes into our bedroom. He is upset with me because I stepped in, that she does not listen to him, blah, blah, blah. same, same, same.

I was talking with my daughter this morning on the way to school, she then told me before I came in the bathroom, he had her "squished" up against the window frame so she could not walk out.

She had picked her toys up...so why is he doing this crap?? It is not the frist time, but he always tells me that there is nothing wrong with what he is doing, that I am the one over reacting...once again.

I think what he is doing is wrong, and it is scaring my daughter. I am really thinking about getting a restraining order and getting him out of this house. I feel I need to protect her....that years from now, I don't want her coming to me and saying......WHY didn't you do something to protect me....or having her thinking that it is OK to treat her that way.....please any thoughts??????

mallowcup

Call the police and CPS. Now.

stillsearching

he is the police...

LIFEOUTTHERE

It does not matter who he is - This behavior is not acceptable.

ICU

Nope, you're not over-reacting at all. His behavior towards your daughter alarms me. And the fact that he is a police officer alarms me as well.

Maybe try contacting a DV agency. If after explaining your situation to them, if they feel they are not the appropriate people to advise you, perhaps they can refer you to someone who is.

Here's a link. Scroll to the post that lists US numbers. You might find one by state, if not, use the nationwide number 800-799-SAFE (7233).

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...helplines.html

Please keep us posted.

mallowcup

Nope, so what he's the police. He's an abusive bully who needs to answer to CPS. He's the police, not God, don't feed into his ego of being untouchable.

Pick-a-name

You are not over-reactiong....he sure is. BTDT. Be safe.

lilac

Nope, you are not overreacting......your daughter's physical and emotional well-being (along with yours) is a priority here. Be safe.

laurie6781

No you are not over reacting. Call the Police and CPS. IF he is part of the local police department, then call The State Police. They are over all local police and sheriff's departments. Yep, I see you are in Milwaukee, my old home town. Call the Chief's office, or call the Precinct captain, or call State Police out in Madison. And definitely call CPS right away.

PM me if you need to, I still have "friends" in Milwaukee and Wisconsin that can probably help you.

What he is doing is totally WRONG. He is hurting your daughter emotionally as well as physically.

Please take care of you and her and make some calls.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

SaTiT

You might also contact institutions for abuse woman and children
They can help you obtain lawers, if you don't trust the police
department. There would be records aside from the pd just incase.

mallowcup

I really feel stongly that you need to intervene on your daughters behalf. She may decide to defend herself and get hurt or hit him over the head with a lamp. People will only be intimidated of bullied until they fight back.
This may sound weird but I am most concerned about him putting his physical body between her and the door. This is a real body language statement.

WantsOut

The emotional damage and what he's teaching her is lethal. He's also a childish a-hole and he needs to be stopped. There is only one thing more powerful than a bully off duty cop and that's an angry and determined mom.

Show your daughter that she's far far more important to you than he is (she is, isn't she? I've been there and I know it can get confusing. She is more important - trust me.) Show her how to eject an abusive man from her life.

Mom power!

harleygirl92156

I feel for you and your daughter and FULLY understand what you are up against and what you mean when you say "he is the police."

My X-husand was the police. He was sneaky in his abuse, never hit me, but subtle threats with guns were often made and for many years that kept me in line so to speak. When that stopped working, the guns were actually placed to my head to keep me in line.

Had friends, family, counselors, etc. advise me to call the police as well, but I knew better........who is going to come if you call the police, his buddies.......fat chance of getting the assistance you need in that situation.

I did call once, the Sheriff came, told us we just needed to work it out and LEFT. Nothing was done. I finally packed up and disappeared. Went 700 miles away in order to feel safe and still when I returned for the divorce, he had photos of my home, car, work and me!!! He stalked me, but I guess that was ok cause he was the POLICE!!!

I will say, if you are worried now is the time to take steps, the behavior will continue to get worse and you can't have your daughter in that situation. Protect her above all else.

Just wanted you to know that I know exactly what you mean when you say he is the police........we have an entirely different situation to deal with when there is abuse. They are not God, but often think they are, and so do others in the community, including their buddies, judges in their courts, their superiors, ect. I know your situation and hope you find the way that is best for both you and your daughter.
God Bless

WantsOut

If I felt I couldn't call the police because they were tainted, my next thought would be to call the FBI. Seriously. They police the police. Is that a realistic possiblity?

mallowcup

I am sooooo glad that crap doesn't work on me anymore. Maybe I've become more savvy in dealing with and reporting abuse. My job requires it as I am a mandated reporter. I insist on quotes being documented. I also charge the person I report to with any consequence. People, including police know when you mean it. NO ONE, NO ONE, puts their hands on me or anyone I love, end of story. Fear does not dictate my life. He would want to pull that, I am the police, one time! Make my day!

kermit

I don't think your over reacting, I think you are not doing enough. I don't care who the hell he is, GET HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE! Sorry to sound blunt, but to me if you don't do something then you are abusing your child just the same.
What is there to think about? Do something now!
Said with LOVE.
Lynne

mallowcup

Is there a reason you are avoiding calling CPS?

ICU

Stillsearching,

You wrote this about a month ago....

Have you begun counseling yet? That might be another option for you to consider getting input from a different type of trained professional!

And Harleygirl, My thank-you button is MIA. So I'll thank you here for your post. I 'get it' about the police too! 'Nuff said!

ICU

StillSearching, you have to do what's best for you and your daughter according to your situation. No one here knows your situation better than you do. Having said that, you have many good options to consider. I trust that you'll do the right and the safe thing. Keep us posted, ok? We're all here for you, and in case you didn't notice, we all care about you and your daughter.

socalgal

Your post scared me. No,you are not overreacting. Please protect your daughter. This situation sounds very volatile.
-K