whothat

Well, it's been 24 hours since I drank myself silly, made a a** of myself, don't remember what I said, etc. The one person that could fill in the blanks hasn't called back and I am so worried because that person is the biggest gossip in town. I had been doing so good. Only having one to two glasses of wine once a week. I had no business drinking the hard liquor Sat. night. Not used to it. This guilty and being so worried is so consuming. How do I let it go? I can't stop worrying.

Aysha

Hi who..sry your still feeling that way.

Hopefully you will think twice next time then if your so worried about what other people think.
I'm sorry but it sounds more like to me that it is the thought of what people are gonna think or say that is bothering you more than the fact that you drank.
That is the least of my problems. I could care less what anyone thinks except my family.
People who feel the need to gossip are usually people who really have nothing better to do or cant carry on a conversation otherwise.

Stop worrying about the next person and think about yourself.

Hope I didn't sound rude. Wasn't meant to be that way. Just the way I see it.

Hope you feel better.

sooobeee

That sounds so much like me 8 years ago. I used to lie in bed for a few days after a big "drunk" agonizing over what I couldnt remember and what I might have said and done. (Not to mention I was throwing up every 10 minutes and shaking...unable to hold down even water) There is nothing like a blackout to make an already anxious person feel out of control. One thing that helped me through those times was to realize that alcohol had a chemical effect on my mood and my depression...and while those days in bed seemed hopeless and never ending, when the chemical fog and horror relents a little you will pick yourself up.
I know that those hangovers are what made me stop drinking. I hated myself so much I did not think I could survive them. I am thinking of you and I hope you feel better soon.
Sue

Rusty Zipper

whodat... focus on what your going to do for geting well, not what you've done...


good wishes...

xxoo, rz

whothat

Thanks for being up front. Yes, I do worry more about what people think and I am focusing on that as opposed to the fact that I did drink too much. The truth is, since I do care so much about what peopel think then I really need to think twice before drinking again. Most people seem to be able to excuse such bad behaivor away with, I was just drunk. Well, I kjnow I was just drunk but I also know I run my mouth, etc. Unfortunately, I am a position where I live that I have to protect my reputation and care what others think. I guess the answer to my problem is to not drink so I don't have to feel this way. If I say something I shouldn't or offend someone at least I will remember this way!
I'm really going to try to stop worrying. I can't take back what happened. I am just praying a lot for God to take this feeling from me and to keep me strong.

Aysha

You sound like my aunt if she were to feel bad about her behavior when drinking.

Boy does she have a mouth on her. And she don't care drunk or sober who she says it to. So I kinda see where your comin from.

But you know ..maybe your getting worked up for nothing. Maybe you behaved yourself. You never know.

I guess the only thing thats gonna make you feel better is to find out.

Wondering is stressful.

You'll be Ok. Just remember this feeling next time.

coopsdad

ive been in your position many many times. at the time i thought what i might have said or done was what was important to me. i have been fortunate to never have had any legal problems due to drinking but i am sure i fed the gossip mill many times. now i know the ONLY problem was my inability to handle alcohol in any responsible manner whatsoever. what is important to me is never drinking again, not a casual beer, nothing. I am on day 2 of soberness and feel good.

Missymae737

HI,

Maybe you were not doing as well as you thought... If I had one or two glasses of wine a week, sooner or later I would end up drunk. I would be setting myself up for the drunk.. Come top think of it, I couldn't just have one or two glasses, more like two bottles.

Don't stress so much...let it go....we are here for you.

whothat

I am feeling better. The worrying is slowly going to the back of my mind. The parts that I do remember are driving me nuts as well as the parts I don't. I've been in knots all day. The next time I see the group the only thing I can do is apologize. I just hope my behavior doesn't get back to my family. Especially my brother. He loves to "pot calling the kettle black."

whothat

I guess the biggest problem is I am really depressed. I am so mad at myself. That's not me. I also have a tendency to make a mountain out of a mole hill so I might have acted as bad as I think. Still, no more booze. I take a lot of meds for various problems including depression. I guess the label telling you not to drink means just that, do not drink.

Missymae737

Don't get mad at yourself..When I drank, I would be depressed for days after. After all, alcohol is a depressant.

Keep posting,

hope3

Hi whothat, welcome to SR, What is it that you want to do? Do you want to stop drinking?

There is alot of good information in the stickies on the alcoholism forum, read alittle and see if any of that information helps.

best wishes, hope3

whothat

Yes I am shooting for quiting. I truly do not drink that often but when I do, I just can' tseem to stop. I do believe it is called binge drinking.

hope3

WD, this is what the NIAAA says on alcoholism, and I'm not saying you are or aren't, only you can determine that.

But If you are shooting for quitting, then you might want to research the possibilities on NIAAA, http://www.niaaa.nih.gov/FAQs/Genera...lt.htm#problem

Or a good book is beyond the Influence. Best wishes, hope3

1. What is alcoholism?

Alcoholism, also known as alcohol dependence, is a disease that includes the following four symptoms:

Craving--A strong need, or urge, to drink.
Loss of control--Not being able to stop drinking once drinking has begun.
Physical dependence--Withdrawal symptoms, such as nausea, sweating, shakiness, and anxiety after stopping drinking.
Tolerance--The need to drink greater amounts of alcohol to get "high."
For clinical and research purposes, formal diagnostic criteria for alcoholism also have been developed. Such criteria are included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, published by the American Psychiatric Association, as well as in the International Classification Diseases, published by the World Health Organization. (See also "Publications," Alcohol Alert No. 30: Diagnostic Criteria for Alcohol Abuse and Dependence.)

GlassPrisoner

Funny thing whothat......

When I quit drinking (after the de-tox was over), the anxiety went away. So did the depression. Imagine that !

Hang in there, it gets better.

hope3

Good morning whothat, just wanted to

say hi, I'm on my way to work....I hope you

find your answers, and if I can help in anyway,

your can pm me, hope3

indigo

If you really want to quit you can, I used to binge drink and that got to be a drinking session every day untill I just coudn't stand myself, I don't think anyone knew what to do, cept me with many relapses I finally quit and I'm so glad I did. I wish you peace from your bad feelings.

hugs indigo

whothat

Thanks for the support. Today is a little better. I am just really into the torture. My parents always said they never had to punish me because I would punish myself. Thanks for the definition of alcoholism. Binge drinking is not fun.