NoDoubt

Hi everyone.
My husband has now been sober for over 30 days and things are looking really good for him!
We went to counseling at the center that he is receiving out patient treatment (1 time so far - this past week). Anyway, the social worker could REALLY talk!! We barely got a word in. But, we did realize that we are doing really well as a couple. We are on the right track.
However, I still have some difficulty with trust (5 years of lies takes its toll). I also realize that I am still angry.
As I've mentioned before, I grew up in an alcoholic home and my mom (my best friend) is still drinking. I have been doing a lot of reading about adult children of alcoholics and co-dependents. WOW do I fit the mold. It's really scarey!!!!
The social worker the other night suggested that I may benefit from one on one therapy. I am trying to figure out what is best. I just find it hard to talk about my feelings and emotions with people (other than you).
I still find that I am very emotional. I cry easily and I get angry with my husband and children easily. I have recently realized that my sense of humor is pretty poor.
I was just wondering if any of you have gone for individual counseling for co-dependency?
Thanks for listening.
NoDoubt

Ann

I tried it twice and the first time just couldn't connect with the therapist at all. I don't think she had a lot of experience in codependency and I think I confused her a lot LOL. When our sessions were over, I think she was more depressed than me.

The second time was with a terrific woman who really knew how to get to the core issues, gently but with purpose. She helped me discover things about myself that I had never considered before, and she gave me "homework" to do, much like journaling but with questions provided, and that helped me a great deal. I went to her for about 6 months, twice a week and then once a week toward the end. At the end of 6 months it was left that if I felt that I needed a session, follow-up, or more therapy that I was to give her a call.

I would recommend trying this, and my point is that it should be with a therpaist who is experienced in your situation.

journeygal

Hi NoDoubt,

I've been in therapy for almost 2 years and I don't see myself stopping anytime soon! I'm also an adult child of an alcoholic and I'm definitely a textbook case. It probably took me six months of therapy before I was even able to start getting to the root of some of my issues, and these days every session is an eye opener. I was very blessed to connect with the first therapist I made an appt. with and she's very nurturing, supportive, and caring - all the things that I've needed for a long time. I don't know if a therapist is supposed to play that role, but mine does and I'm very grateful to have her.

The thing I like most about therapy is that for an hour every other week I get to talk about and focus on ME, with someone who is objective and doesn't judge me. It's something I've needed for a long time and I would definitely recommend it. In fact it was through therapy that I discovered I was codependent. My sessions are often very emotional, and while I still feel funny crying in front of my therapist, she always has a tissue handy.

Let us know how it goes!

Hugs,
JG

NoDoubt

Thanks ladies!
I'm still debating what to do about therapy. I am leaning towards it. The problem is finding the time.
My husband is going 2 nights a week for counseling (group) and at he is attending around 5 AA meetings a week. I really am glad that he is getting the help that he needs but I feel like I'm still having a tough time emotionally.
Talking with you has helped.
NoDoubt

Daffodil

No Doubt;

I started my recovery with therapy but soon my insurance ran
out...I was told for long term recovery I should go to Al-Anon
I am an adult child of alcoholics....that was a good many years ago but I still attend atleast one meeting a week with my home group, meet with my sponsor whenever I need to and have a
whole group of friends in the program that I can call whenever I need to, who understand me, the program, and the disease of
alcoholism...today my Higher Power does for me what I never could have done for myself....I even was sent to these boards so I had even more recovery sources...

Using the tools of the program one day at a time, I now have a life of my own.....I am still surrounded by alot of quackers but by keeping the focus on me and the program I can honestly say

I am healthier person today than I was yesterday
and with my HP help and working the program
I will be a healthier person tomorrow...

Blessings to you...Hope it helps to know there are others out here who are living life as you do and are learning to live it more fully and joyously...