I'm terrified
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: merseyside
Posts: 54
I'm terrified
This is my first sober day and I'm terrified. Already having doubts as to whether I am strong enough to do this. I can't stop crying. Drink is occupying my every thought and I'm worried I won't be able to sleep tonight without a drink. If I can't sleep tonight it will just make the day longer and every minute feels like an hour at the moment. I need to stay strong and want to stay strong.Any other newbies out there who are feeling the same? I hope we all stay strong together. Thank goodness for this site. Love to everyone who is ridding the demon drink - good luck to us all.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,492
Welcome Chan,
I remember how the minutes seemed like hours and the hours seemed like days. It was awful, but it got much better. You can do this and we are here to offer support.
Sleeping will often be a problem for people who are newly sober because our bodies take some to adjust. Try to be patient with yourself. Make plans to keep yourself busy and take care of yourself.
I remember how the minutes seemed like hours and the hours seemed like days. It was awful, but it got much better. You can do this and we are here to offer support.
Sleeping will often be a problem for people who are newly sober because our bodies take some to adjust. Try to be patient with yourself. Make plans to keep yourself busy and take care of yourself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: merseyside
Posts: 54
Thank you for your kind words. Was going to go for a walk but there will be too much temptation to have 'a last one'. Your right I need to keep busy. Thank goodness for ironing - got two baskets full so at least I will be busy for a few hours! My problem is impatience, I want to be recovered NOW. This will be a long process and I know I have to take 'one day at a time'. Once again, thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: baltimore, maryland
Posts: 463
Nice to meet you Chan,
You came to the right place for help and support. Can you tell us a little about your drinking history, ie. how much, how long.....You might need a little de-tox, have you seen a doctor? Going cold turkey can have negative effects depending on past consumption.. Keep posting , you will get answers.....
Work Hard and enjoy life....NED
You came to the right place for help and support. Can you tell us a little about your drinking history, ie. how much, how long.....You might need a little de-tox, have you seen a doctor? Going cold turkey can have negative effects depending on past consumption.. Keep posting , you will get answers.....
Work Hard and enjoy life....NED
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
Posts: 595
Originally Posted by Chan 
Thank you for your kind words. Was going to go for a walk but there will be too much temptation to have 'a last one'. Your right I need to keep busy. Thank goodness for ironing - got two baskets full so at least I will be busy for a few hours! My problem is impatience, I want to be recovered NOW. This will be a long process and I know I have to take 'one day at a time'. Once again, thanks.
Chan,
Your reference to "one day at a time" makes me think you might have been exposed to AA there in the UK. That is where your are? If so, there are many others on this site from the UK. Many newbies who come here are very scared of AA. They don't want to be seen in public admitting they have a problem, or they don't know what they'd say, or they don't want to be stared at. The point I'm trying to make is that the more face-to-face human contact you make with other recovering alcoholics, the better your chances will be of staying sober. This process is not one that lends itself to being done alone. Even here in cyberspace is not the same as the touch of another's hand on your shoulder or the real shoulder to cry on.
We'll do everything we can to supply the care you need, the love you want to feel, and the comfort you so desperately seek. Please let us know how we can help.
You servant,
Ed
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 98
I suspect that several of us are well-acquainted with your terror. You will be amazed how quickly it passes and how easy it is to turn fear into confidence and joy.
How?
For me, I have truly come to internalize the phrase "One day at a time." I am not directly involved with AA, but I suspect the AA'ers will allow me to borrow a LOT of their directives.
I was most afraid of quitting while I was detoxing, about four or five days after I stopped drinking. After I started to feel physically better, the emotional stuff tended to follow. Rather than fear what I was going to do the next day when I REALLY wanted a drink, I came to say, "I feel too good to screw this up again. I didn't drink today and I'm proud of that. I'll worry about tomorrow when it happens."
Now, two months later, I say the same thing. If I allow my fear of "what am I going to do when such-and-such happens?!?" to dictate my drinking behaviour, that is to say, if I allow my fears to guide me, then I will likely revert to the same lifestyle that caused me so much pain and destruction in the first place.
My own recovery road thus far has been nothing short of amazing and exciting. The sky hasen't fallen, I haven't won any lotteries, I haven't been awarded a harem, but I have come to experience the peace and joy that life allows one, if one allows it. Not every day has been easy, but it has been simple: simple as not drinking.
Don't drink today. Don't drink for the next ten minutes. Don't think about what you will feel in an hour from now.
There is an infinate amount of love, support, patience, wisdom, and understaning here and please feel free to share your fears, hopes, dreams with us.
Welcome to SR!
Earl
How?
For me, I have truly come to internalize the phrase "One day at a time." I am not directly involved with AA, but I suspect the AA'ers will allow me to borrow a LOT of their directives.
I was most afraid of quitting while I was detoxing, about four or five days after I stopped drinking. After I started to feel physically better, the emotional stuff tended to follow. Rather than fear what I was going to do the next day when I REALLY wanted a drink, I came to say, "I feel too good to screw this up again. I didn't drink today and I'm proud of that. I'll worry about tomorrow when it happens."
Now, two months later, I say the same thing. If I allow my fear of "what am I going to do when such-and-such happens?!?" to dictate my drinking behaviour, that is to say, if I allow my fears to guide me, then I will likely revert to the same lifestyle that caused me so much pain and destruction in the first place.
My own recovery road thus far has been nothing short of amazing and exciting. The sky hasen't fallen, I haven't won any lotteries, I haven't been awarded a harem, but I have come to experience the peace and joy that life allows one, if one allows it. Not every day has been easy, but it has been simple: simple as not drinking.
Don't drink today. Don't drink for the next ten minutes. Don't think about what you will feel in an hour from now.
There is an infinate amount of love, support, patience, wisdom, and understaning here and please feel free to share your fears, hopes, dreams with us.
Welcome to SR!
Earl
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: an island
Posts: 13
Hi Chan. I stopped drinking yesterday so I know how you are feeling. I had 7 1/2 years of sobriety but started drinking in November. I hope you have a good day.
Last edited by sooobeee; 03-13-2007 at 09:45 AM. Reason: I did not want to be redundant(I posted in another thread)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: merseyside
Posts: 54
Hi again
Feel better after reading all the posts. I am detoxing I'm juicing lots of fruit and veg and just trying to be nice to myself physically. It's my brain that is causing me the problem! I wish I could just stop thinking for a while.....
I've dug out lots of books to read so if I can't sleep tonight at least my mind will be occupied!
Just remembered when I last stopped drinking (lasted about a month) I remember one day getting into bed and realising I had hardly thought of drink that day which was strange cos initially it occupied my every waking thought - bit like at the moment. That will happen again I'm sure.
My mind is all over the place at the moment but one thing I do know is I WILL NOT DRINK TODAY
Thanks for all the posts. Your support means a lot. I look forward to logging on here one day and telling a 'newbie' like myself that things will get easier AND MEAN IT.
XXXX
I've dug out lots of books to read so if I can't sleep tonight at least my mind will be occupied!
Just remembered when I last stopped drinking (lasted about a month) I remember one day getting into bed and realising I had hardly thought of drink that day which was strange cos initially it occupied my every waking thought - bit like at the moment. That will happen again I'm sure.
My mind is all over the place at the moment but one thing I do know is I WILL NOT DRINK TODAY
Thanks for all the posts. Your support means a lot. I look forward to logging on here one day and telling a 'newbie' like myself that things will get easier AND MEAN IT.
XXXX
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: pass the bon bons
Posts: 2,363
chan.....you sound like you are doing very good......you know what you need to do....and you know you will need to take care of yourself......
you should be proud of yourself...this is a brave thing you are doing.....and it takes a lot of courage to come here and admit you have a problem and ask for support.......you will need all of the support you can get.....you can do this....so many here have, and they will share their wisdom and experience with you...
welcome to sr....
hugs
ayla
you should be proud of yourself...this is a brave thing you are doing.....and it takes a lot of courage to come here and admit you have a problem and ask for support.......you will need all of the support you can get.....you can do this....so many here have, and they will share their wisdom and experience with you...
welcome to sr....
hugs
ayla
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
Originally Posted by Chan
My mind is all over the place at the moment but one thing I do know is I WILL NOT DRINK TODAYXXXX
That is IT!! Don't drink today. You are on your way to recovery, my friend...
You can do this!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Hi Chan !
I walked a lot in early sobriety. One, it was good excersise. Two, it took my mind off of my problems. Three, I didn't have a working vehicle
I also read, a lot. And, did what you are doing. Lot's of fluids and rest. Your body will tell you what it wants. Do'nt be surprised or alarmed if you find yourself eating a lot of stuff that seems unhealthy. At least you're getting off of the liquid diet.
Stay bury. Your mind is going to mess with you. I remember the anxiety being almost unbearablem which was only offset by the horrible depression.
Hang in there, it gets better.
I walked a lot in early sobriety. One, it was good excersise. Two, it took my mind off of my problems. Three, I didn't have a working vehicle
I also read, a lot. And, did what you are doing. Lot's of fluids and rest. Your body will tell you what it wants. Do'nt be surprised or alarmed if you find yourself eating a lot of stuff that seems unhealthy. At least you're getting off of the liquid diet.
Stay bury. Your mind is going to mess with you. I remember the anxiety being almost unbearablem which was only offset by the horrible depression.
Hang in there, it gets better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: merseyside
Posts: 54
Last night wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. OK I got into bed early and felt very anxious but lots of deep breaths and sips of water and it started to pass. Woke up after an hour with a headache but was back off to sleep after an hour or so and then had 5 hours sleep! Wasn't a great night but a lot better than I thought it was going to be. It's day 2 and I've got to have two wisdom teeth removed this afternoon. Not exactly looking forward to it but as strange as it sounds, I'm already thinking that maybe the toothache will take my mind off the demon drink.
Bring on the toothache!!!!
DAY TWO AND I WILL NOT DRINK TODAY
Bring on the toothache!!!!
DAY TWO AND I WILL NOT DRINK TODAY
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
Posts: 595
Hey chan,
I've had wisdom teeth taken out, two at a time too. You'll be numb for a little while after. When the numbness wears off, expect some pain. And yes, more than likely the last thing you'll think about is drinking. Keep up the good work and let us know how you're doing.
Friends in sobriety,
ED
I've had wisdom teeth taken out, two at a time too. You'll be numb for a little while after. When the numbness wears off, expect some pain. And yes, more than likely the last thing you'll think about is drinking. Keep up the good work and let us know how you're doing.
Friends in sobriety,
ED
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: merseyside
Posts: 54
Booooo
They couldn't take my teeth as, even though I had a responsible adult with me, that adult had a child with them and as I was going to be knocked out they said the adult couldn't care for a child and me booooooooooo.
Appointment has now been put back until 9th May. Bit of a pain but must admit when nurse asked if I drank I could truly say no rather than telling fibs as I would have done previously 'honestly I only drink once a week and then only 2 glasses of wine' mmmmmm. Felt quite good being truthful.
Friends been calling asking where we are going they weekend..... way too early to put myself into a bar and watch my friends drink so decided to get back into sewing which I haven't done for years. Itching to start sewing now but going to save it until the weekend so I can have my own little 'treat' while friends out with the 'demon'. Juiced apple, carrot and spinach (yes, it is nice!) and sewing machine for my saturday night.
Day 3 tomorrow - bring it on. Don't care if I cry, panic and generally feel like crap all day, I AM DOING THIS.
Hoping all the other newbies staying strong.
C
X
Appointment has now been put back until 9th May. Bit of a pain but must admit when nurse asked if I drank I could truly say no rather than telling fibs as I would have done previously 'honestly I only drink once a week and then only 2 glasses of wine' mmmmmm. Felt quite good being truthful.
Friends been calling asking where we are going they weekend..... way too early to put myself into a bar and watch my friends drink so decided to get back into sewing which I haven't done for years. Itching to start sewing now but going to save it until the weekend so I can have my own little 'treat' while friends out with the 'demon'. Juiced apple, carrot and spinach (yes, it is nice!) and sewing machine for my saturday night.
Day 3 tomorrow - bring it on. Don't care if I cry, panic and generally feel like crap all day, I AM DOING THIS.
Hoping all the other newbies staying strong.
C
X
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
Lack of power is my dilemma.
If I could have quit all on my own, I would have, decades ago.
Simply taking away alcohol has not been the solution for me.
Alcohol treats our minds, our ego and self obession.
When alcohol is taken away, I'm the same person, sober.
Restless, irritable & discontent.
I need to build a whole new character.
There IS an answer!
If I could have quit all on my own, I would have, decades ago.
Simply taking away alcohol has not been the solution for me.
Alcohol treats our minds, our ego and self obession.
When alcohol is taken away, I'm the same person, sober.
Restless, irritable & discontent.
I need to build a whole new character.
There IS an answer!
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