I hit the send button
When Pigs Fly
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: california
Posts: 894
I hit the send button
I responded to a e-mail from my AH, the way I felt right at that moment. He sent a message" I do not have a permanent address yet, as soon as I do I will let you know" I typed, no that's okay stay lost, lose our #s, we no longer need you, we are doing great without you, things are calm now. The kids don't even ask about you any more. Good Bye Stephen and hit the send button.
Okay it felt sooooo good to type what I really felt. however I'm wishing I would not have done it. Something tells me it was wrong.
Okay it felt sooooo good to type what I really felt. however I'm wishing I would not have done it. Something tells me it was wrong.
When Pigs Fly
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: california
Posts: 894
If I hurt him, well I guess I'm tired of being affraid of not hurting him. i'm tired that no one sticks up for his kids, that it is all bout getting Stephen better that he Needs to find himself. I nolonger feel sorry for him i also don't care anymore, just want me and the kids to be happy
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
So you relasped...
If there is something inside telling you it was wrong, you should probably trust that....
But dont beat yourself up over it. Now had you sent it back setting your boundries and not to hurt him and his feelings got hurt .... well that is a different story.
If there is something inside telling you it was wrong, you should probably trust that....
But dont beat yourself up over it. Now had you sent it back setting your boundries and not to hurt him and his feelings got hurt .... well that is a different story.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
sometimes, isn't it just plain "ok" to tell someone to go fly a kite??? without worrying about everything?
i dunno....sometimes i just get tired of trying to be so "recovery politically correct".......but not near as tired as i got from being sick and tired...
hey, it's march....time to fly kites.
i dunno....sometimes i just get tired of trying to be so "recovery politically correct".......but not near as tired as i got from being sick and tired...
hey, it's march....time to fly kites.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,351
feels good in a way doesn't it to say what you really think???I am sure he has had no trouble in the past telling you all the BS and making you feel guilty....maybe he is drunk and won't even care or forget it completely---so glad to hear you and your kids are moving on
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
it used to crack me up when my x would call to let me know where he was...just in case i needed him....like he was acting at being responsible or something.
yeah, ok, so now i know where you are sweety....now what???? who was sitting there listening to you when you made the call, babycakes?? who were you trying to impress with your so called "check-in" like you were so damned important, and like you've been doing so much for our family, sugarpie? who was listening to you act like a responsible adult, dumplin?
what a show he could put on.....really kinda sad.
hmmmm....i just realized i used all food products as descriptions of him.
hmmmmmm.....interesting.
maybe i need to change those to different foods....my little calamari, caviar droplet, my little snake steak (tastes like chicken), and my little mud pie (hey, i used to eat 'em when i was a kid).
whoooo-hooooo...i'm close to the edge folks.
kermmie....it's ok, i think, to tell him pfffftttt!!!! get on along little doggie....go check that rollin' donut....bye bye baby, bye bye!!!!
yeah, ok, so now i know where you are sweety....now what???? who was sitting there listening to you when you made the call, babycakes?? who were you trying to impress with your so called "check-in" like you were so damned important, and like you've been doing so much for our family, sugarpie? who was listening to you act like a responsible adult, dumplin?
what a show he could put on.....really kinda sad.
hmmmm....i just realized i used all food products as descriptions of him.
hmmmmmm.....interesting.
maybe i need to change those to different foods....my little calamari, caviar droplet, my little snake steak (tastes like chicken), and my little mud pie (hey, i used to eat 'em when i was a kid).
whoooo-hooooo...i'm close to the edge folks.
kermmie....it's ok, i think, to tell him pfffftttt!!!! get on along little doggie....go check that rollin' donut....bye bye baby, bye bye!!!!
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
OMG..... Your killing me!!!!! When I loose it, I usually regret it ... and it comes back to bite me in the bum.... So I just convience myself of how much more I have it together by not answering.
But 2 months ago I lost it with my ex-husband... HOLY COW! I was good this time though cuz I did not make it seem worse then it was, or point out character defects he did not have. Guess my Snake steak has enough character defects now that I dont have to make them up or worse.
Actually now that I think about it.... I owe my SO an apology.... about 3 weeks ago I did tell him I thought he was a flipping Idiot.... ouch.
SEEE that is the suckie part of loosing it, in recovery I know I have to make an amends....Cripes.
When Pigs Fly
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: california
Posts: 894
Don't jump Embraced, we would SO miss you around here. Thanks for the smile on my face. You are Our FAVORITE NUT( peanut, hazelnut corn nut? ) which ever you prefer!
Cynay, no need for amends when you only point out the abvious!
So what kind of Nut are you? I'm a ........................ oh hell I don't know
Cynay, no need for amends when you only point out the abvious!
So what kind of Nut are you? I'm a ........................ oh hell I don't know
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
i know what you mean cynay....about 95% of the time, i can keep it together and talk recovery-speak, and walk the walk, and truly feel it all....but man....sometimes i just have to blow it all up. it happens less and less now.....
sometimes, i just have to go there....to the codie-blow. lolololo
then, i start all over again....but not devastated like i used to get....make my amends, happily.....
sometimes, i just have to go there....to the codie-blow. lolololo
then, i start all over again....but not devastated like i used to get....make my amends, happily.....
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Something like I am happy to apologize that your a flipping Idiot.... OPPPSssssss
Nahhh, Cant do that.... This one is special too me, so I should probably make amends. Besides he works a program too so .... to make it worse he "knows" I should make amends.... I might have been able to get away with it if he were a nomie.
Nahhh, Cant do that.... This one is special too me, so I should probably make amends. Besides he works a program too so .... to make it worse he "knows" I should make amends.... I might have been able to get away with it if he were a nomie.
Last edited by Cynay; 03-09-2007 at 02:10 PM.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
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ok....how bout this.....what i meant to say, was you are the sweetest flippin idiot i have ever know.......honey. hey sweetie? uh, don't go yet. come back here. i didn't mean it. oh, just go ahead and walk out like the flippin idiot you are!
seriously.....ain't it a hoot when we know that we have dropped the ball and that now, we know how to make amends gracefully, meaningfully, and without drawing our own blood or selling a kidney to prove how "sorry" we are?
isn't it just grand?!!!! i just love these glimpses of healthyisms i have at times.
and kermie....i think i wanna be a coco-nut. i've always liked coco-nuts. they are versatile. you can drink them, eat them, and make bras out of them.
now lets see....what kinda nut would kermie be???? and cynay, too??
anyone else want to name their own nut?
seriously.....ain't it a hoot when we know that we have dropped the ball and that now, we know how to make amends gracefully, meaningfully, and without drawing our own blood or selling a kidney to prove how "sorry" we are?
isn't it just grand?!!!! i just love these glimpses of healthyisms i have at times.
and kermie....i think i wanna be a coco-nut. i've always liked coco-nuts. they are versatile. you can drink them, eat them, and make bras out of them.
now lets see....what kinda nut would kermie be???? and cynay, too??
anyone else want to name their own nut?
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