son relapsed over the week-end
krhea75
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: macomb, il
Posts: 644
son relapsed over the week-end
I got a call from my AS's counselor today and they found alcohol in his urine after his week-end pass with me. I got the call between classes at school, had to turn around and go back in and teach class. It was tough. When his counselor confronted him, he crumbled, felt bad. I have mixed feelings. Anger at myself for believing his lies again. Relief that he was caught and had to face the music. Sad---this is just going to go on forever. My son called me tonight, admitted to the use, apologized and said he was glad that if it happened it happened while he was in rehab so that he could deal with it and stop the slide. I think he's trying, but still always hopeful that he will get away with it. He lost his pass this week-end, but still wants me to come see him on site to give him support. I told him i didn't know whether i would come or not. I am just tired. I have been busting my butt to make the 4 hour trip twice a week for the family counseling and the pass at home, and he still drinks. I think I will stay home and let him stew. Thanks for listening.
krhea
krhea
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
((((((Krhea)))))))
I'm so sorry, I know how disappointed you feel. The road to recovery is unfortunately not a straight path and he will have to pick himself up and brush himself off along the way. I think young ones face such a challenge with surrender....after all even without addiction, they believe they are invincible.
The disease pulls so hard; it takes lots of effort and using all the tools possible to battle the demon. I agree with your son that he is in the right place to handle and work through it.
It has helped me to think through my motivations when I have to make a decision. If I am doing something for me, I know I am on pretty good ground however things turn out. But if I do it because I expect it can change something, I usually have to re-examine.
Working full time and commuting that distance twice a week must be so draining. I think a weekend focused on you would be great. I hope you can get some rest. Hugs and prayers
I'm so sorry, I know how disappointed you feel. The road to recovery is unfortunately not a straight path and he will have to pick himself up and brush himself off along the way. I think young ones face such a challenge with surrender....after all even without addiction, they believe they are invincible.
The disease pulls so hard; it takes lots of effort and using all the tools possible to battle the demon. I agree with your son that he is in the right place to handle and work through it.
It has helped me to think through my motivations when I have to make a decision. If I am doing something for me, I know I am on pretty good ground however things turn out. But if I do it because I expect it can change something, I usually have to re-examine.
Working full time and commuting that distance twice a week must be so draining. I think a weekend focused on you would be great. I hope you can get some rest. Hugs and prayers
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: fairhill, md.
Posts: 16
Having a weekend for him to reflect on his actions may not be a bad thing, so take the weekend off and do something for yourself. If you are running around like a tornado, you deserve to have some sane time. I agree with Greet that he is in the right place for his slip. Just step back and enjoy the weekend. Take care of YOU. Brit
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: homebased
Posts: 408
I was sorry to read your message
sorry but not surprised....recovery is hard....relapse is part of the process
please don't give up hope....
your AS still has a long road ahead of him and it probably is best if you skip this weekend and let him focus on why he is there and what he needs to do
stay strong and take care of you
don't give up before the miracle....
sorry but not surprised....recovery is hard....relapse is part of the process
please don't give up hope....
your AS still has a long road ahead of him and it probably is best if you skip this weekend and let him focus on why he is there and what he needs to do
stay strong and take care of you
don't give up before the miracle....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Cloud 9
Posts: 778
I'm sorry to hear it. At least he was someplace where he can learn how to deal with it, learning the tools if he chooses. My RAD was clean for 7 months & relapsed. She did for about 2 weeks. She picked herslef up & sought help on her own. I was very sad about the relapse, but very proud she went to detox on her own.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
((((Krhea))))
I'm sorry, I know how hard that is.
My son relapsed, slipped, slid, fell several times before he "got" it, but eventually he pulled it out.
Each time, I had to work harder on me, and found myself right back at step 1 "acceptance"
Unfortunately this is what they often do, and I had to accept that relapsing is often part of the process.
Keep faith, it sounds like he knows what he needs to do, and that he has to find the strength to do it.
There's nothing wrong with stepping back. I was better at that when I was so very tired...perhaps my HP was telling me something.
He knows you're there for him
Sounds like a good time for an "all about me weekend"
Hang in there, we're walking with you
((((Hugs))))
Cece
I'm sorry, I know how hard that is.
My son relapsed, slipped, slid, fell several times before he "got" it, but eventually he pulled it out.
Each time, I had to work harder on me, and found myself right back at step 1 "acceptance"
Unfortunately this is what they often do, and I had to accept that relapsing is often part of the process.
Keep faith, it sounds like he knows what he needs to do, and that he has to find the strength to do it.
There's nothing wrong with stepping back. I was better at that when I was so very tired...perhaps my HP was telling me something.
He knows you're there for him
Sounds like a good time for an "all about me weekend"
Hang in there, we're walking with you
((((Hugs))))
Cece
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
sorry this happened, its common so don't feel guilty about not going this wkend. in my opinion, it probably won't hurt if you skipped as many as you wanted to. like someone else said, gives him more time to focus on those issues, may even be good if he can deal with the fact that mom is not always gonna be at his every beckon call, that he can't have things his way, just because things get a little uncomfortable.
i relapsed after 9 yrs, so understand that relapse is a part of recovery sometimes, its what he does after relapse that counts. in the meantime, maybe you can work more on you so that you won't have those high expectation about him staying clean or working his recovery, it only causes more hurt and disappointments. take care of you, do what you need to do because you want to and not what your son expects of you. keeping you and your son in my prayers.
i relapsed after 9 yrs, so understand that relapse is a part of recovery sometimes, its what he does after relapse that counts. in the meantime, maybe you can work more on you so that you won't have those high expectation about him staying clean or working his recovery, it only causes more hurt and disappointments. take care of you, do what you need to do because you want to and not what your son expects of you. keeping you and your son in my prayers.
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
((((((krhea)))))))
So sorry to hear about the relapse. It happens, unfortunately.
My son was given house arrest, was out for 2 days, relapsed with heroin.
I immediately called the P.O. and told him, "I can't have him here".
He then spent 5 1/2 months more in jail. He hasn't used heroin since, but,
as you know, continues to drink and smoke pot.
Don't slip back into panic mode. He's in a good place, working out the kinks as to why it happened.
Take the weekend to focus on you, and next week, you'll be able to see him without too much anger and finger pointing.
That was my problem...the anger. Just couldn't fathom the "why",
ya know? Remember, this is part of the process.
Sending love and prayers to you and your family,
Linda
So sorry to hear about the relapse. It happens, unfortunately.
My son was given house arrest, was out for 2 days, relapsed with heroin.
I immediately called the P.O. and told him, "I can't have him here".
He then spent 5 1/2 months more in jail. He hasn't used heroin since, but,
as you know, continues to drink and smoke pot.
Don't slip back into panic mode. He's in a good place, working out the kinks as to why it happened.
Take the weekend to focus on you, and next week, you'll be able to see him without too much anger and finger pointing.
That was my problem...the anger. Just couldn't fathom the "why",
ya know? Remember, this is part of the process.
Sending love and prayers to you and your family,
Linda
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewher
Posts: 259
kreah
i know youfeel disapointed and sad !!
but its wil get better,, its good they couht it on time whil hes still there..
ithink the best is dont go to seehime this wekend,, let him be alone and feel himself meake some conclusions for him byhimself..
and go and do something extra speciall for you and try not to think too much.. ,, hugs to you!!1
i know youfeel disapointed and sad !!
but its wil get better,, its good they couht it on time whil hes still there..
ithink the best is dont go to seehime this wekend,, let him be alone and feel himself meake some conclusions for him byhimself..
and go and do something extra speciall for you and try not to think too much.. ,, hugs to you!!1
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
