Layla2222

I have definitely been taking notice of all my thoughts for the last month—noticing what I like, what I dislike, what I’m afraid of, negative thoughts I have, positive thoughts I have, etc… I have noticed a couple of things…For one, I am seeing that I have lived in fear of SO many things! But what I am proud of is that 99% of the time, I am now standing up to my fears…and the fears I give in to, I am at least proud that I am acknowledging this is something I have to work on. I had a friend I have known for about 7 years and we stopped talking because I thought she had done something mean to me, but I was to afraid to confront her about it, so I just avoided her instead. Yesterday I was thinking what a nice friendship we had, and I put all my fears aside and called her that very instant! I actually ended up going over to see her last night and we caught up for hours…it was nice & it was a HUGE step for me :o)

I have also noticed a change in my perspective…even through all the hard times and pain of recovery, I am SO grateful for this awakening. Everyday I smile and THANK God for life…I have had tremendous spiritual growth and I now talk to God everyday… for the first time in my life I KNOW he is here with me (I know he has always been here…I just couldn’t see it before). I am so thankful for everything…for all the knowledge I have received…for all the wonderful people in my life…for all my experiences—even the bad ones—because without them I wouldn’t be me!

I have recently OVERLOADED myself with books…I am noticing now that I yearn to go to the bookstore- ha! Something I was never really interested in before. Anyways, I just have this intense desire to learn…to know more! I feel like I have discovered what is MOST important in life, and I want to know everything about it…I want to know me, I want to know God, and I want to learn to love with all of my heart. It’s funny though…I have bought (or was given) about 20 books in the last week and I don’t know where to start! I want to soak up all the information I can, but it’s a bit overwhelming.

Last thing on my mind…I just watched the DVD called “The Secret”…anyone heard of it? It is a great movie with a great message. It’s all about the Law of Attraction—how we create our own reality with our thoughts…and the more negative thinking we do: the more negativity is brought into our lives, however the more positive thinking we do: the more positive things come into our lives…I guess that’s not a very full explanation of the movie, but it is really good, and I recommend it :o)

Thanks for listening!
Much love & support!
~Stephanie

SaTiT

Thank for sharing your story Steph.
I've been in recovery sense I was 22. (18 years)
It's been a long journey for me just to get to this piont.
I've taught my father's drinking was none of my bussiness. i didn't know or deniled how much it effected
me. There's layer and layer that I had to peel away
just to see the light. it's clearer

I'll have to check out the secret.
it's right up my alley. I'm still on the fence
or 50/50. it works if i work it, but I still get
cuaght up in old behaviors, I'm more aware of them thou.

I just worry about my nephew and nieces.
They live with my parents. They remind me of me
when I was younger and have many, many traits
that i have. i try to pass on as much asI can to them.
My neices actaully broke down into tears as I shared with her. She was having a very tuff time in school and
couldn't consentrate and nobody took the time to listen.
Just basically tells her how she's messing up.

Her mother dose't listen or take the time..becuase
she dosen't know about ACOC or recovery.

The kids basically hangs on to me when grandpa is
around.

I wish I can help my sister somehow.
I know she suffers much also. but she won't listen to me.

I'm the blacksheep in the family.
mmmm...probably becuase I saw the elephant in the live room

Maybe i'll get the DVD for them too.