Eating my own guts
Becoming a Butterfly
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 904
Eating my own guts
I have to scream about this stuff cause I'm just at the end of my rope.
I have one realtor come look at my house. He names a price that sounds fair and says it will sell pretty quick at that price. I'm feeling good.
Realtor two comes over and has the same comp data and everything and says she thinks it's worth $50K LESS. She also has lots of experience.
How can two people with years of experience look at the same house with the same data and get two totally different prices.
Then I'm telling this to mom on the phone and she says, "Well, if it doesn't sell at the price you want you might just have to face the fact that you'll need to take a lesser job."
I don't know why it's taking me so long to find one. I don't know why I screwed up that interview. I feel just terrible about it and I'm starting to feel like a loser. It's been five months now.
Are things ever going to get back on course for me? I've been waiting for my day for so long. It just hurts so much.
I have one realtor come look at my house. He names a price that sounds fair and says it will sell pretty quick at that price. I'm feeling good.
Realtor two comes over and has the same comp data and everything and says she thinks it's worth $50K LESS. She also has lots of experience.
How can two people with years of experience look at the same house with the same data and get two totally different prices.
Then I'm telling this to mom on the phone and she says, "Well, if it doesn't sell at the price you want you might just have to face the fact that you'll need to take a lesser job."
I don't know why it's taking me so long to find one. I don't know why I screwed up that interview. I feel just terrible about it and I'm starting to feel like a loser. It's been five months now.
Are things ever going to get back on course for me? I've been waiting for my day for so long. It just hurts so much.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
(((wantsout)))
Stop beating yourself up. I know it's hard and you're frustrated but you can only control what's yours to control and sometimes the line to that is really blurry. Trust in your HP that things are going to work out like they are supposed too.
We're here - vent all you want too. I'm sending you tons of peaceful vibes.
Stop beating yourself up. I know it's hard and you're frustrated but you can only control what's yours to control and sometimes the line to that is really blurry. Trust in your HP that things are going to work out like they are supposed too.
We're here - vent all you want too. I'm sending you tons of peaceful vibes.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,351
5 months is not a long time--give yourself a chance-all these changes take time to figure out--your mom may be right -you may need to just take any job to get you through until the house gets sold etc..it will also take your mind off everything...Try a few different realtors...don't rush.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Originally Posted by WantsOut 
Are things ever going to get back on course for me?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Most of my disappointments in buying or renting homes have turned out to be blessings in disguise one way or another- I'll be praying that is how it turns out for you too. Hang in there and try not to be too discouraged...I know that may sound easy to say...but I really do understand the stress you are feeling and hope things work out for you real soon.
cmc
cmc
Becoming a Butterfly
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 904
The feedback they gave the recruiter was that, while they liked me, they didn't think I was the right fit for the job. They said they were going to talk to other people this week. So I asked her what she thought of that and she said, "I think that's a 'no' because frankly they were close to ready to hire you before the interview."
Neither the HR person nor the hiring manager responded to my follow-up email.
I could see if I could get the HR lady on the phone tomorrow and get back in there, and I do have more to say than I did the first time. I could also write a plan for the project they were talking about that they think I don't clearly understand. But I feel like really kind of missed my chance at this particular position. After a while don't things seem less spunky and more desperate? I don't mean to sound like a "can't do" person, cause I'm not. It's just that trying to salvage things afterwards might sound better on paper and less practical in the real world.
Neither the HR person nor the hiring manager responded to my follow-up email.
I could see if I could get the HR lady on the phone tomorrow and get back in there, and I do have more to say than I did the first time. I could also write a plan for the project they were talking about that they think I don't clearly understand. But I feel like really kind of missed my chance at this particular position. After a while don't things seem less spunky and more desperate? I don't mean to sound like a "can't do" person, cause I'm not. It's just that trying to salvage things afterwards might sound better on paper and less practical in the real world.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
hi there wantsout
you just keep plugging along....you are doing great! why not get a third appraisal from another realtor and then you will have a better idea of things.
it will take some time to get things settled down into your routine and corner of the world. you will do it....you sound pretty amazing with your thought processes....imo....
i know it seems daunting at times trying to carve out a world for yourself, but you will do it.
be very kind to yourself and try not to beat yourself up over the job interview. others will happen.
you just keep plugging along....you are doing great! why not get a third appraisal from another realtor and then you will have a better idea of things.
it will take some time to get things settled down into your routine and corner of the world. you will do it....you sound pretty amazing with your thought processes....imo....
i know it seems daunting at times trying to carve out a world for yourself, but you will do it.
be very kind to yourself and try not to beat yourself up over the job interview. others will happen.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Happy with me !
Posts: 680
Don't be so hard on yourself....I know how frustrated you feel right now, and I feel you are justified to feel that way. However, don't dwell on one particular thing too long.....It will drive you nuts!!!!! (I know because I have done it!)
Embraced has a good idea....maybe a third opinion on the house? This would maybe clarify a reasonable price? $50K less? That IS a big difference. I would get another opinion.
Also, don't beat yourself up over the interview....things are gonna fall into place for you, I know it.
Much love and peaceful thoughts being sent your way
Embraced has a good idea....maybe a third opinion on the house? This would maybe clarify a reasonable price? $50K less? That IS a big difference. I would get another opinion.
Also, don't beat yourself up over the interview....things are gonna fall into place for you, I know it.
Much love and peaceful thoughts being sent your way
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
wantsout.....i hired an assistant manager last summer. she had applied for the job two times. she came in several times and i blew her off. the reasons i was not interested in her was because i had worked with her about 20 years ago, and thought she would not be a good match to this sort of work, although i loved her as a person.
she came into the office one day with an agenda written out of her goals of assistant manager should i consider her. her goals impressed me....they were realistic, imaginative, and she showed me on paper how she could save hiring for another position by combining the two positions i had been interviewing for.
i had never thought of that idea. she showed me how it could work. i was amazed at her fortitude and perserverance. i hired her. she has been a godsend. and she has followed through with almost everyone of her ideas.
so there you go....i blew her off so many times.....but she sucked it up, came in prepared with an impressive plan, and i hired her. she later told me it was amongst the harder things she had done, because she risked rejection one more time.
she came into the office one day with an agenda written out of her goals of assistant manager should i consider her. her goals impressed me....they were realistic, imaginative, and she showed me on paper how she could save hiring for another position by combining the two positions i had been interviewing for.
i had never thought of that idea. she showed me how it could work. i was amazed at her fortitude and perserverance. i hired her. she has been a godsend. and she has followed through with almost everyone of her ideas.
so there you go....i blew her off so many times.....but she sucked it up, came in prepared with an impressive plan, and i hired her. she later told me it was amongst the harder things she had done, because she risked rejection one more time.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: By the sea
Posts: 415
Hello there (((Wantsout)))...this funk will pass!
I have NO doubt that things are going to fall into place for you.
I agree with CMC...try to look at the setbacks as blessings in disguise. Sometimes the reasons are not evident until later on.
Try to have faith and trust that you are exactly where you are supposed to be...doing exactly what you are supposed to do...and that you are being cared for...and that everything's going to be ok.
Sometimes when I want something really really bad (like a new apt., or a new job, etc.) I get very aggressive (not in a bad way) in search of what I want. And it's always super frustrating when I don't get what I want in the timeframe that I thought was acceptable. I've learned that when I start to feel this angst/frustration...is exactly when I need to back off a bit...whatever I was pursuing was not meant to be for me, and it's for the better.
hugs to you.
I have NO doubt that things are going to fall into place for you.
I agree with CMC...try to look at the setbacks as blessings in disguise. Sometimes the reasons are not evident until later on.
Try to have faith and trust that you are exactly where you are supposed to be...doing exactly what you are supposed to do...and that you are being cared for...and that everything's going to be ok.
Sometimes when I want something really really bad (like a new apt., or a new job, etc.) I get very aggressive (not in a bad way) in search of what I want. And it's always super frustrating when I don't get what I want in the timeframe that I thought was acceptable. I've learned that when I start to feel this angst/frustration...is exactly when I need to back off a bit...whatever I was pursuing was not meant to be for me, and it's for the better.
hugs to you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
The housing market took a nose, nose dive
and you can't flip it like you use to. It's a buyer's
market at the moment.
I remember looking for work in my early recovery
My first job was at convalescent home.
On the out set I hated that job. The pay sucked
and my hours where low. The ends weren't meeting.
I was stupid poor. I was living with a GF with 2 duaghter.
But we became every close. We enjoy the simple things
in life, just raising our duaghters and we didn't fight.
The world was hard enough to handle. Our 2 bed room
apartment was our sanctuary. We did the best with what
we had. And we had a lot... not in material. We were
happi and surround by love, the love of one anther.
Then we both started attending college. Between work
and school. I selom saw my girl friend. We took turns
baby sitting the girls, but every moment we had together
was great.
I also met a young man (my age)at the old folks home.
He had gotten into a motorcycle accident...pretty
much doing the same thing as I did.
He was paralized, brain damage, and blinded.
I would make him copies of my music and set it up
for him. He wasn't deff. He was alive and aware enough to
know.
I was having a very rough time with recovery.
I was making lots of money before recovery.
But , at that time...the ends weren't meeting.
I didn't have any gradtitue, I had nothing to be greatful for.....Will, things happens for a reason.
I could see, I could walk, I could get out of bed.
I could communicate ,I can play with my children.
I will never forget Codi...the young man.
I even got laid off from that job....
Was things ever going to ge better for me ?
Is all this recovery BS worth it ?
I looked far and wide for work for months..
Nothing, enterviews after enterveiws and re-enterviews.
I've exhausted all of my money looking for work.
I didn't even have gas money to attend school.
I had to make a chioce....
Go buy a gallon of milk for my duaghters or go to school.
I chose to feed my children.
After months...I laid in bed and cried sometimes.
WTF ???....I found 3 jobs without any problems
wacked out of my mind...So why the hell is this
happen now ?...Now that I'm trying to do right.
I also had a hard time truning things over
"trun it over and let GOD" was what I kept hearing
over and over again when I go to meetings.
it was a stupid jester to me...but I had nothing
to loose..So I gave it a chance.
I gave up...I did all I could. i quit looking for work.
I spent time with my duaghters..being Mr. Mom.
I also got into a hobbi. I started building R/C plans
But I didn't have any money for material.
I was digging in a dumpster for styrafoam.
Some Dude came out and asked me what the hell
I was doing, diging through his trash can and why
the hell I wasn't working.lol
He asked me for my qulifications.
It just so happen, a person was on his last day of
work . The opening was in my feild.
I became a manager within a couple of months.
So...there you go things happens for a reason.
The managing job pay a lot more.
I move into a 3 bed room house in the country
within a couple of months thereafter
and a damn 60" tv to go along wiht that too.
3 damn cars and whatever material things.
And we obtain alot of crap thoughout the years.
The ironic thing is...the happier times we had
was when we were stupid poor. Now, we wern't
close and we started fighting over stupid sheit.
And life had became complicated.
and you can't flip it like you use to. It's a buyer's
market at the moment.
I remember looking for work in my early recovery
My first job was at convalescent home.
On the out set I hated that job. The pay sucked
and my hours where low. The ends weren't meeting.
I was stupid poor. I was living with a GF with 2 duaghter.
But we became every close. We enjoy the simple things
in life, just raising our duaghters and we didn't fight.
The world was hard enough to handle. Our 2 bed room
apartment was our sanctuary. We did the best with what
we had. And we had a lot... not in material. We were
happi and surround by love, the love of one anther.
Then we both started attending college. Between work
and school. I selom saw my girl friend. We took turns
baby sitting the girls, but every moment we had together
was great.
I also met a young man (my age)at the old folks home.
He had gotten into a motorcycle accident...pretty
much doing the same thing as I did.
He was paralized, brain damage, and blinded.
I would make him copies of my music and set it up
for him. He wasn't deff. He was alive and aware enough to
know.
I was having a very rough time with recovery.
I was making lots of money before recovery.
But , at that time...the ends weren't meeting.
I didn't have any gradtitue, I had nothing to be greatful for.....Will, things happens for a reason.
I could see, I could walk, I could get out of bed.
I could communicate ,I can play with my children.
I will never forget Codi...the young man.
I even got laid off from that job....
Was things ever going to ge better for me ?
Is all this recovery BS worth it ?
I looked far and wide for work for months..
Nothing, enterviews after enterveiws and re-enterviews.
I've exhausted all of my money looking for work.
I didn't even have gas money to attend school.
I had to make a chioce....
Go buy a gallon of milk for my duaghters or go to school.
I chose to feed my children.
After months...I laid in bed and cried sometimes.
WTF ???....I found 3 jobs without any problems
wacked out of my mind...So why the hell is this
happen now ?...Now that I'm trying to do right.
I also had a hard time truning things over
"trun it over and let GOD" was what I kept hearing
over and over again when I go to meetings.
it was a stupid jester to me...but I had nothing
to loose..So I gave it a chance.
I gave up...I did all I could. i quit looking for work.
I spent time with my duaghters..being Mr. Mom.
I also got into a hobbi. I started building R/C plans
But I didn't have any money for material.
I was digging in a dumpster for styrafoam.
Some Dude came out and asked me what the hell
I was doing, diging through his trash can and why
the hell I wasn't working.lol
He asked me for my qulifications.
It just so happen, a person was on his last day of
work . The opening was in my feild.
I became a manager within a couple of months.
So...there you go things happens for a reason.
The managing job pay a lot more.
I move into a 3 bed room house in the country
within a couple of months thereafter
and a damn 60" tv to go along wiht that too.
3 damn cars and whatever material things.
And we obtain alot of crap thoughout the years.
The ironic thing is...the happier times we had
was when we were stupid poor. Now, we wern't
close and we started fighting over stupid sheit.
And life had became complicated.
Last edited by SaTiT; 03-07-2007 at 07:32 PM.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
I would get a third realtor's opinion regarding the list price of your home. Regarding the job interview, you've followed up as you should, received feedback by way of your recruiter, and that's all you can do. If they failed to see your potential, then that's their loss.
Hang in there, things will fall into place soon. A buyer will come along and offer you the right price for your home and the perfect job for you will come along, too.
If there's one thing I've learned from SR, it's this: Once you start to value yourself and recognize your worth, others will follow suit.
Hang in there, things will fall into place soon. A buyer will come along and offer you the right price for your home and the perfect job for you will come along, too.
If there's one thing I've learned from SR, it's this: Once you start to value yourself and recognize your worth, others will follow suit.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Booneyville USA
Posts: 246
Oh please! Go where the alcoholics are! You'll make tons of $$ dancing! LOL Hang in there. You'll be ok. I felt the same panic creeping in when I got divorced and found myself jobless and sitting on a HUGE mortgage. Everything worked out ok. Just try to hang onto the patience you have left (if any!) and you'll be ok too!
Hang in there. You'll be ok. I felt the same panic creeping in when I got divorced and found myself jobless and sitting on a HUGE mortgage. Everything worked out ok. Just try to hang onto the patience you have left (if any!) and you'll be ok too! Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hey there WO,
I've bought and sold lots of houses and property over the years. Realtors are no different than anybody else; some are good at what they do, some are not. Your house is worth what the comps say, it's really that simple.
Because the economy stinks. The whole country is operating at minimum staff with constant budget cuts, so it has nothing to do with you.
They did for me. I had a great business making loads of money. Economy went south and all my customers went broke. I had a heart attack and my health went south too. ex-wife left me for three other guys. Took a job in a different city cuz I was desperate. Had heart surgery and they laid me off cuz they don't recognize heart surgery as a valid medical condition, go figure. Spent 15 months looking for _any_ job, took a few lousy temp ones cuz I had to. Finally got a job with insurance bennies that pays about a quarter what I used to make.
You know what? I couldn't be happier. The job is totally stress free, I got me a tiny little condo that I love, started dating a charming young lady, got all kinds new friends in my new city, and I even got a tiny raise last week.
You know when things finally got back on course for me? When I first hit the doors of al-anon and started my new life. Financially I'm a long ways off. Material posessions I'm a long ways off. But where it matters most, in hope and potential and a future, I've been back on course for a long time.
Sounds to me like you are back on course too. You are _able_ to get a new job, you have a house you can sell, and you have tons of new friends here on SR and tons more you have not met yet in the rooms of al-anon. You have a future now, WantsOut, and it's a wonderful future. All you have to do is keep plugging along just like all the rest of us do.
In the meantime we're all praying for you and sending you
Mike
Originally Posted by WantsOut
...How can two people with years of experience look at the same house with the same data and get two totally different prices. ...
Originally Posted by WantsOut
... I don't know why it's taking me so long to find one....
Originally Posted by WantsOut
... Are things ever going to get back on course for me? ...
You know what? I couldn't be happier. The job is totally stress free, I got me a tiny little condo that I love, started dating a charming young lady, got all kinds new friends in my new city, and I even got a tiny raise last week.
You know when things finally got back on course for me? When I first hit the doors of al-anon and started my new life. Financially I'm a long ways off. Material posessions I'm a long ways off. But where it matters most, in hope and potential and a future, I've been back on course for a long time.
Sounds to me like you are back on course too. You are _able_ to get a new job, you have a house you can sell, and you have tons of new friends here on SR and tons more you have not met yet in the rooms of al-anon. You have a future now, WantsOut, and it's a wonderful future. All you have to do is keep plugging along just like all the rest of us do.
In the meantime we're all praying for you and sending you
Mike
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
Real Estate is so different depending on so many factors. I'd say go with a multiple listing and the highest selling price knowing full well you may reduce the price later. You wouldn't start low and try to raise the price later. Make it a multiple lsiting at a high price and let the best realtor win. Don't forget, they have a stake in it. One realtor may be looking to move the house quickly and one may be looking for a better commission.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((WantsOut))
Sending you best wishes on the job issue - that can be so freaking frustrating - hope that something will work out soon.
I work kinda in the Real Estate field (for the government) & wanted to offer a suggestion - can you go to your County Court House & view public records of recent properties that have been sold - get a feel for what houses around you have been listed for & their actual sales prices? Most of this information is public record - just might take some detective work. Some Court houses have this info on the their Web sites as do some realtors under multi listings.
I know this sounds a little cheesy, but hey - it couldn't hurt - right? If you have extra time - you can always watch those HGTV & TLC shows that give you pointers about "Sell This House" - amazing some of the little details you can do to increase the sales potention of your home.
Wish you had the house for sale in our area - Southwest Louisiana is still in desperate need of housing from Hurricane Rita - Homes usually don't stay on the market for more than 60 days here.
When I feel overwhelmed - I try using the slogans - hope this will help you,
Rita
Sending you best wishes on the job issue - that can be so freaking frustrating - hope that something will work out soon.
I work kinda in the Real Estate field (for the government) & wanted to offer a suggestion - can you go to your County Court House & view public records of recent properties that have been sold - get a feel for what houses around you have been listed for & their actual sales prices? Most of this information is public record - just might take some detective work. Some Court houses have this info on the their Web sites as do some realtors under multi listings.
I know this sounds a little cheesy, but hey - it couldn't hurt - right? If you have extra time - you can always watch those HGTV & TLC shows that give you pointers about "Sell This House" - amazing some of the little details you can do to increase the sales potention of your home.
Wish you had the house for sale in our area - Southwest Louisiana is still in desperate need of housing from Hurricane Rita - Homes usually don't stay on the market for more than 60 days here.
When I feel overwhelmed - I try using the slogans - hope this will help you,
Rita
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