suspicious, how do you tell if there is more than just alcohol? plus update
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: oh
Posts: 757
suspicious, how do you tell if there is more than just alcohol? plus update
hi all, first let me say that thankfully some of my house is getting put back together, all be it, pretty much, back to the way it was. still a lot of repairs to be made, but ah is working on it
he has admitted his relapses (makes me very sad) and i am not falling into his quacking and twisting so much.
here is my question though, how do i tell if he is involved with more than just alcohol?
yesterday, i came home and there were seven calls on the caller ID within a short period of time-like an hour or so, some just minutes apart (almost like a desperate thing)??? from a guy that ah went to school, but that he was never close too, actually someone who, in school, gave ah a hard time and teased him. someone ah NEVER liked. the guy is a known drug addict-cocaine- and alcoholic in town, just a real messed up guy. ah has not associated with this guy and has not really talked to him in the seven years we have been together (to my knowledge). i questioned about why this guy was calling the house like that and ah said that he ran into him at the store and he asked ah to give him a ride to another town 20 minutes away from us to some guys house. the guy said he would give him ten dollars for taking him. ah drove him and the guy wasn't home at the house he took him to. i asked why he was calling the house and how he got our number (ah gave him our phone number,why?) and first ah said because he was wanting to give him the ten dollars (so ah never got the ten dollars when he drove him? supposedly because the guy at the house wasn't home?). ah was home when he was calling like that and a little later i asked why didn't you answer the phone and ah said "because i knew what he wanted-me to take him back to get his drugs or whatever..."
ah said he did this because he was just trying to be nice -he didn't know. does this sound suspicious? i have wondered if ah was doing more than just alcohol. what do you think? last night i came downstairs and ah was sniffling a lot almost sounded like he was crying. he said his nose was running? ah has done cocaine in the past -to my knowledge it has been a long time ago years, but maybe not???? he really didn't act aggressive and hyperactive as i have seen him before when i think he was doing this.
any detectives out there? i shoud add the the guy has been know to deal drugs.
am i just being paranoid?
he has admitted his relapses (makes me very sad) and i am not falling into his quacking and twisting so much.
here is my question though, how do i tell if he is involved with more than just alcohol?
yesterday, i came home and there were seven calls on the caller ID within a short period of time-like an hour or so, some just minutes apart (almost like a desperate thing)??? from a guy that ah went to school, but that he was never close too, actually someone who, in school, gave ah a hard time and teased him. someone ah NEVER liked. the guy is a known drug addict-cocaine- and alcoholic in town, just a real messed up guy. ah has not associated with this guy and has not really talked to him in the seven years we have been together (to my knowledge). i questioned about why this guy was calling the house like that and ah said that he ran into him at the store and he asked ah to give him a ride to another town 20 minutes away from us to some guys house. the guy said he would give him ten dollars for taking him. ah drove him and the guy wasn't home at the house he took him to. i asked why he was calling the house and how he got our number (ah gave him our phone number,why?) and first ah said because he was wanting to give him the ten dollars (so ah never got the ten dollars when he drove him? supposedly because the guy at the house wasn't home?). ah was home when he was calling like that and a little later i asked why didn't you answer the phone and ah said "because i knew what he wanted-me to take him back to get his drugs or whatever..."
ah said he did this because he was just trying to be nice -he didn't know. does this sound suspicious? i have wondered if ah was doing more than just alcohol. what do you think? last night i came downstairs and ah was sniffling a lot almost sounded like he was crying. he said his nose was running? ah has done cocaine in the past -to my knowledge it has been a long time ago years, but maybe not???? he really didn't act aggressive and hyperactive as i have seen him before when i think he was doing this.
any detectives out there? i shoud add the the guy has been know to deal drugs.
am i just being paranoid?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
hi hope....i think you have answered your own question, sweetie. you have a gut feeling, don't you?
i don't have a clue what your hubs is up to, but i do know when i have a gut feeling, it is usually something i need to listen to.
i'm glad your house is getting put back together.
love to you
jeri
i don't have a clue what your hubs is up to, but i do know when i have a gut feeling, it is usually something i need to listen to.
i'm glad your house is getting put back together.
love to you
jeri
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
My first thought.... What does it matter? I would deal with either one as I see fit and as actions guide me.
Alcohol or drugs don't bother me, what can happen when they use alcohol or drugs or what people do when using alcohol or drugs that gets me upset.
His actions will tell you what is what. Questioning and looking for problems will just drive you bonkers. Let his actions be your guide and let the actions guide your boundaries.
A known drug addict (using addict) calling the house would have me set boundaries because it would upset me. Him doing coke...his actions will give you the answers. Let his actions guide your boundaries.
Alcohol or drugs don't bother me, what can happen when they use alcohol or drugs or what people do when using alcohol or drugs that gets me upset.
His actions will tell you what is what. Questioning and looking for problems will just drive you bonkers. Let his actions be your guide and let the actions guide your boundaries.
A known drug addict (using addict) calling the house would have me set boundaries because it would upset me. Him doing coke...his actions will give you the answers. Let his actions guide your boundaries.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: oh
Posts: 757
yep
jeri, you know just the sickening feeling in your gut. we have said for a while that something was up and ah has something going on i don't know about. it would explain some of the anger and irrational behavior?
best, i figure if he is doing other drugs it won't be long before it is revealed, right? i question, someone you don't see or talk to (pretty much a stranger except going to school together) why would they just randomly ask you for a ride? how did the guy get to the store he was at? walk that he did not have a ride?
and why would ah agree to give him a ride when he knows the guy is messed up and he doesn't like him?
and why would he give him our phone #?
just sounds fishy to me plus the calls afterwords? come to think of it was private calls and there have been some other private calls on the id other days, but not that frequency -hence why i questioned.
anyway, don't worry, i have my guard about me and preparing for anything at this point.
best, i figure if he is doing other drugs it won't be long before it is revealed, right? i question, someone you don't see or talk to (pretty much a stranger except going to school together) why would they just randomly ask you for a ride? how did the guy get to the store he was at? walk that he did not have a ride?
and why would ah agree to give him a ride when he knows the guy is messed up and he doesn't like him?
and why would he give him our phone #?
just sounds fishy to me plus the calls afterwords? come to think of it was private calls and there have been some other private calls on the id other days, but not that frequency -hence why i questioned.
anyway, don't worry, i have my guard about me and preparing for anything at this point.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
hope.....how are YOU? yes, i know that sickening feeling in the pit of the stomach....always on guard....always looking, hunting, searching for answers that just don't make sense. i really made myself sick doing all that.
i hope you are doing things for yourself and are finding some peaceful moments. life is good, very good. it doesn't have to be lived in misery.
whether you live with him or not, i sure hope you are doing things for yourself and learning to nurture yourself.
love to you
jeri
i hope you are doing things for yourself and are finding some peaceful moments. life is good, very good. it doesn't have to be lived in misery.
whether you live with him or not, i sure hope you are doing things for yourself and learning to nurture yourself.
love to you
jeri
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by hopeangel 
anyway, don't worry, i have my guard about me and preparing for anything at this point.
I have been bonkers enough in life and tend to leave things in God's hands a little faster these days. Actions do tell the story sooner or later.
Good seeing you have a sound balance.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: oh
Posts: 757
yep
thanks for asking jeri. i am trying my best to care for myself right now and doing what i need to help find peace-generally finding my own happiness and well being. lightbulbs have went on and as much as ah tries to blame me and take no responsibility and tear me down. i have informed him that i am on to what he is doing and i am no longer taking it. i am no longer jumping to work to be the one to "fix" things.(we did go to marriage counseling tonight, together) time for him to step up and take responsibility and do the work if he wants to or not. it is up to him. kinda of a whatever happens happens attitude right now for me? time for him to take his misplaced anger and put it somewhere else,because i am no longer falling for it. mostly i am just sad to see him fighting against himself anymore (i don't fight with him anymore) i do care what happens to him he had his liver tested today and i am praying that he is okay.
oh i forgot, about the guy calling...ah said "he was just being nice. he didn't know"....roll eyes
oh i forgot, about the guy calling...ah said "he was just being nice. he didn't know"....roll eyes
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: oh
Posts: 757
the calls started again this morning
i'm kinda scared. three calls in the matter of minutes, hanging up on me. ah says he will get the ten dollars from him and it will be done. maybe drugs would explain some of ah's paranoid behaviors?
to top it off, i am off work today because of the snow and not feeling well. long story, but i work in a place that is environmentally bad, black mold, toxins, upper respiratory problems. well, i just got a call from the dr. and my liver enzymes are elevated (and i don't drink!) probably from toxins at work. also, they are checking me for mono. guess all this really is effecting my health
anyway, thanks for the prayers.
and he is calling again as i am writing.......
to top it off, i am off work today because of the snow and not feeling well. long story, but i work in a place that is environmentally bad, black mold, toxins, upper respiratory problems. well, i just got a call from the dr. and my liver enzymes are elevated (and i don't drink!) probably from toxins at work. also, they are checking me for mono. guess all this really is effecting my health
anyway, thanks for the prayers.and he is calling again as i am writing.......
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Dixie
Posts: 612
Why would this guy be so desperate to GIVE the $10 he owes to your AH? I don't get it. Sounds more likely that your AH owes HIM money, and that's why this guy keeps calling. Also is odd behavior for this guy to hang up whenever you answer the phone.
Whatever the reason, there's not much you can do about it. But I would be pissed, because it is an intrusion into MY home, as well.
Whatever the reason, there's not much you can do about it. But I would be pissed, because it is an intrusion into MY home, as well.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: oh
Posts: 757
wow
seven more calls in forty minutes -ah answered one call from him earlier when he was here and i heard him say, "no man, i am busy today. then i heard him say to meet him in the parking lot of the store to give him the 10 at two oclock. well, i left for a little while to get away from the phone calls and came home seven calls. i answered the phone then and he did speak to me saying ah was going to give him a ride. i told him i didn't know anything and he has called back two more times after. i am not answering
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
this all sounds real stinky. jmho.
i would resent this behavior being brought into my home, my safeplace.
something just isn't right, here...so it seems. again....jmho.
take care hope
sounds like trouble is a brewin and i think you suspect it, too.
i would resent this behavior being brought into my home, my safeplace.
something just isn't right, here...so it seems. again....jmho.
take care hope
sounds like trouble is a brewin and i think you suspect it, too.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
So, Hope, what are you going to do? This man has proven time and time again that he will do whatever he wants. So, what if he is doing drugs? Do you have a bank account that he does not have access to? If not, I would be getting one asap. And putting money in there that he cannot touch so that you have what you need should things get worse. What are you doing for YOU?
L
L
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
As much as you wish you knew what was really going on - none of us here know for sure. And I'd bet from experience, you realize that your AH isn't about to tell you the whole truth and nothing but the truth or the whole truth.
So.....that leaves it up to you.
Are you willing to accept this life as it is now?
Or are you ready to change it?
The ball is in your court.
So.....that leaves it up to you.
Are you willing to accept this life as it is now?
Or are you ready to change it?
The ball is in your court.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
