I was gone, and they used MY place
No More Mrs. Nice Guy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 724
I was gone, and they used MY place
I posted this on the nar anon board too, but I usually read my best stuff HERE so here goes:
When I was gone on my last trip, my 20 yr old son had a key to my home so he could ck on my cats. His 18 yr old brother has been banished - NEVER allowed here while Im gone since he has a habit of smoking dope with his friends - once it was about 100 of his closest buddies. In my APARTMENT.
Needless to say, the brothers decided to come over here together.... when I got home yesterday I found the paraphernalia that lets me know they were smoking dope here. I am so angry I could just &#$*(#$&. Not to mention the fact that they used a perfectly good apple to do it!
I just finished a good talk with my older son. Thank god I have a program and tools to fall back on.... but my heart is breaking. My sweet son looked at me and told me I didnt understand how important his friends are to him and how a little bit of pot or whatever just isnt harmful...... I was able to share with him my concerns and my feelings and thats it. I told him I loved him no matter what but I dont like his actions.
I know I handled it well, but I am sitting here crying.... is there ever a time when you dont want to run after them and try to shake some sense into them?????
I need a hug
Osier59
When I was gone on my last trip, my 20 yr old son had a key to my home so he could ck on my cats. His 18 yr old brother has been banished - NEVER allowed here while Im gone since he has a habit of smoking dope with his friends - once it was about 100 of his closest buddies. In my APARTMENT.
Needless to say, the brothers decided to come over here together.... when I got home yesterday I found the paraphernalia that lets me know they were smoking dope here. I am so angry I could just &#$*(#$&. Not to mention the fact that they used a perfectly good apple to do it!
I just finished a good talk with my older son. Thank god I have a program and tools to fall back on.... but my heart is breaking. My sweet son looked at me and told me I didnt understand how important his friends are to him and how a little bit of pot or whatever just isnt harmful...... I was able to share with him my concerns and my feelings and thats it. I told him I loved him no matter what but I dont like his actions.
I know I handled it well, but I am sitting here crying.... is there ever a time when you dont want to run after them and try to shake some sense into them?????
I need a hug
Osier59
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: California
Posts: 329
I'm Sending you a BIG HUG ******** Osier }}}}!!!!!
I am a cashier in a grocery store and just last night two guys came in and bought a apple each and started smiling weird and then walked off after paying acting silly. Yes, apple sales are at a all time HIGH right now. CRAZY!!!!
You handled things very well. When your a Mom you never stop having the urge to shake sense into them. And maybe, just maybe one day soon they will GET IT!!
Take care,
matters
I am a cashier in a grocery store and just last night two guys came in and bought a apple each and started smiling weird and then walked off after paying acting silly. Yes, apple sales are at a all time HIGH right now. CRAZY!!!!
You handled things very well. When your a Mom you never stop having the urge to shake sense into them. And maybe, just maybe one day soon they will GET IT!!
Take care,
matters
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
Osier......Here's a great big HUG for you. You did great, even though it doesn't make you feel better. I am so sorry! I only wish there were a way we could package what we know and what we have been through and SOMEHOW place it in our children so they could understand.
First I have heard of the apple thing. Always good to learn new info since my oldest will be 12 in June. I am holding my breath and praying that he will hang tough and not get wrapped up in the "Party Scene."
Yeah, I'm with Smoke on the key issue. Find a good neighbor!
Constant
First I have heard of the apple thing. Always good to learn new info since my oldest will be 12 in June. I am holding my breath and praying that he will hang tough and not get wrapped up in the "Party Scene."
Yeah, I'm with Smoke on the key issue. Find a good neighbor!
Constant
No More Mrs. Nice Guy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 724
THE APPLE
Apparently the apple is used as a pipe to smoke dope. There are holes drilled in it - about the size of a straw , and a place carved out where the stem would be - about the size of a sewing thimble. My older son was kind enough to explain it. by the time he was telling me about chambers where the smoke could go I was pretty confused.... I found more of my pens had been disassembled - they use the barrel of the pen like a straw I guess.
From what I gather, many teens are now happily buying big red apples. Believe me, its NOT a health food kick!
Osier59
From what I gather, many teens are now happily buying big red apples. Believe me, its NOT a health food kick!
Osier59
Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia
Posts: 1,714
(((((Osier))))) Sending big hugs your way. Jeez, if they put as much thought into something useful, some of you could be the mothers of geniuses! The apple is a new one to me.
I'm with Smoke and the others on giving the key to a neighbour next time if you have one you can trust - at least a neighbour would probably not be abusing apples in your absence.
Love and hugs.
I'm with Smoke and the others on giving the key to a neighbour next time if you have one you can trust - at least a neighbour would probably not be abusing apples in your absence.
Love and hugs.
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
APPLES??????
HUGS to all of you, I surely do need to keep coming back here more often....With 2 teens in the house, I need a whole new education on what out there....what's going on and how do I keep up with it all....APPLES yet!!!
((((Osier))))
I can relate completey with your feelings of having your home used that way...let alone by our own childern...Once again the ugly disease of addition shows up, and our Mother's hearts hurt...
Take care. Love and prayers to all.
((((Osier))))
I can relate completey with your feelings of having your home used that way...let alone by our own childern...Once again the ugly disease of addition shows up, and our Mother's hearts hurt...
Take care. Love and prayers to all.
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Osier,
Sending a HUGE hug your way. Being the mom of an A/addict is a tough job. How well I know. But I'm so proud of you and your response. You done good, gal! You done good! (Had to use wrong verb tense for special emphasis there...
)
I'll be keeping you and your sons in my prayers, praying that you'll remain strong in your recovery and praying that they will see the light regarding the pot smoking.
Love,
Hangin' In
Sending a HUGE hug your way. Being the mom of an A/addict is a tough job. How well I know. But I'm so proud of you and your response. You done good, gal! You done good! (Had to use wrong verb tense for special emphasis there...
)I'll be keeping you and your sons in my prayers, praying that you'll remain strong in your recovery and praying that they will see the light regarding the pot smoking.
Love,
Hangin' In
Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Raleigh, NC (Jersey Girl transplant)
Posts: 676
Osier,
First a big hug to you((((((((((((((((((((((Osier)))))))))))))))))))) )))).
It occurs to me that they wanted you to know what they were doing while you were not home. Otherwise they would have cleaned up the mess. If that is true, then why do they want you to know? Perhaps it is a way to say this is who I am and what I do. Perhaps it is a plea for guidance or a ploy to get your attention. Whatever the reason, you responded in just the right way. Wow! What an acomplishment.
I know you are hurting about the choices your sons are making. This is where your trust in your higher power comes in. You must trust that you son's higher power is working for their own growth. Try to stay away from thinking about worse possible outcomes. Not everyone goes all the way down the path to addiction and personal ruin. They may decide that this way of life is not for them and drop it entirely.
When I was in college, I smoke pot and drank a lot of beer. For the entire 4 years. After college I smoke and drank much less often and when I was pregnant with my son I stopped altogether. I never went back to it because I didn't really like it much anyway. But I kept doing it to belong with a group I wanted to be associated with, because I was young and didn't have strong boundaries.
I hope my children don't have to go through this period, but they might have to. I am trying to build my trust in God to take good care of them. This is the struggle of all mothers.
Steel Magnolias is on HBO this month and I have watched it everytime I get a chance. I relate so much to Malynn and her struggles to try to keep her daughter healthy. And her daughter just wanting to live her life the way she wants to. I guess we have to just let them be who they are.................
Love and Prayers for you.........................
First a big hug to you((((((((((((((((((((((Osier)))))))))))))))))))) )))).
It occurs to me that they wanted you to know what they were doing while you were not home. Otherwise they would have cleaned up the mess. If that is true, then why do they want you to know? Perhaps it is a way to say this is who I am and what I do. Perhaps it is a plea for guidance or a ploy to get your attention. Whatever the reason, you responded in just the right way. Wow! What an acomplishment.
I know you are hurting about the choices your sons are making. This is where your trust in your higher power comes in. You must trust that you son's higher power is working for their own growth. Try to stay away from thinking about worse possible outcomes. Not everyone goes all the way down the path to addiction and personal ruin. They may decide that this way of life is not for them and drop it entirely.
When I was in college, I smoke pot and drank a lot of beer. For the entire 4 years. After college I smoke and drank much less often and when I was pregnant with my son I stopped altogether. I never went back to it because I didn't really like it much anyway. But I kept doing it to belong with a group I wanted to be associated with, because I was young and didn't have strong boundaries.
I hope my children don't have to go through this period, but they might have to. I am trying to build my trust in God to take good care of them. This is the struggle of all mothers.
Steel Magnolias is on HBO this month and I have watched it everytime I get a chance. I relate so much to Malynn and her struggles to try to keep her daughter healthy. And her daughter just wanting to live her life the way she wants to. I guess we have to just let them be who they are.................
Love and Prayers for you.........................
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