Shasta Bean

Hello everyone. Well its day 5 and I am doing great. I really like the quote I read from here “when all else fails go to bed”. That’s exactly what I have been doing, sleeping feels great. Last night was the only night this week that I had desire to drink. Its my fiancée’s weekend (he has Friday Saturday off) and we had people over to grill out. They were drinking beer and I really wanted a glass of wine, but stayed strong. They all went to a bar to hear a local band at about 9:00p and I was alone at home. I didn’t want to go out because I had to get up early this morning. So I logged on to SR, read until about 10 and went to bed. It was amazing how when I started reading the posts I became disinterested in having that glass of wine.
I am learning about myself. I have not considered my self an Alcoholic until a couple days ago (I called it alcohol addiction, like there is some sort of difference). The main thing I have learned is that it’s a progressive disease, which I had no clue. Like others on here I didn’t drink in the morning, I never had withdrawal symptoms when I didn’t drink, I never drank at work, no one knew that I drank as much as I did, my life is put together and successful, and have never been in any kind of trouble with the law. But now I know that there is more to alcoholism than the obvious stigma’s attached to the disease. I feel a bit lucky to learn all of this after drinking for only 5 years instead of 35 years.
Even on Monday when I first posted here, I thought, “I just need to get this under control and then I can start drinking again…like a normal person”. I now see the error in that thinking. My fiancée does not understand about alcoholism and he is under the same impression, that I will be able to drink normally. This has led me to a question for you all. I know that if I pick up the drink again there I will most likely slide right back into the same rut, probably worse. Like I said my fiancée drinks, so there is alcohol in our house. Beer, wine, and liquor. I asked him the other day what he thought about me NEVER drinking again, he said that would be just fine he would support me in whatever I wanted. Before I quit, when he wanted me to “slow down”, he told me that he would quit drinking too, if that’s what I needed. So to make a long post short….what is you all’s experience with keeping alcohol in the house…when you’re and alcoholic, is it too much temptation? I would really hate for him to have to quit drinking because of my problem. I feel like if I really wanted to drink, I would…it would not matter if there was alcohol in the house, if there wasn’t, I would go and buy it. The change has to come from inside me. Am I setting myself up for disaster???

Brownie

Hi Shasta Bean - my daughter is an addict and I too find reading SR a big help and support - sounds like you you came to the right place there is a lot of support for you - keep us posted - the good bad and the ugly even - you can do it - go for it

Talluleh

We have loads of alcohol here, my hubby is a big drinker as are all our friends. I can't imagine it's the best thing for me to have it around but I look at it all week long and don't drink it, don't even give it a second thought to be honest, today shouldn't be any different. This is my first weekend so we'll have to see where I land on this, on Monday.

Missymae737

Hi Shasta Bean,

Based on my experience, I certainly couldn't keep alcohol in the house for "guests", if I lived alone. Sooner or later, I would set myself up to disaster.

When I lived with my ex-husband, he knew of my addictions. Until he saw strength in me, he would not keep alcohol in this house. I had at least six months of sobriety. Then, my husband who drank occassionally, started to keep small amts of alcohol in the house.. I was ok with this. The longer I did not drink, the less I craved it. At one time I had nine years of sobriety.

You are right, when the temptation is strong, and you don't turn for help, you will find a way to drink.

I also had to adopt the attitude that because I have problems with alcohol, I couldn't expect that everyone should not drink around me.

chrisj728

Accept the things I can not change.

My lads drink and I cant change that, so sometimes there is drink in the house.
I accept that fact,I hope that they will not suffer my torment but I will be here for them if they do.
I treat it the same as when in the supermarket can see the alcohol but I know it's not for me.

chris

Pilgrim

I agree with the last two posts. Good for you coming here and asking about this. I have had a bottle of wine in the house for the last 12 days and I haven't touched it. I have been to the pub where alcohol is available. I have been to the supermarket where it is stacked on shelves a mile high. It is everywhere and if we want a drink we know where to go don't we? Read the "lmao I am such an idiot" thread to see what lengths we will go to to get a drink if it is not in the house. My cravings come on anywhere at any time whether drink is in front of my nose or not. Usually at work where there is none about.

I guess the only advantage of not having any in the house is that you have to go out to buy some. That gives you a bit of extra time to think about whether or not you really want to follow through on the craving.

teej

We have booze here. Its hard alcohol though and I wouldn't touch that stuff with a 10 foot pole! My Hubby doesn't drink at all since I quit (he never drank much anyway) so we'll give it to someone on a special occasion.
Beer was my poison, and I WOULD NOT want a drop of it hanging around here. Thats just me though. I still don't completely trust myself to not flip out over something major and drink it if it were here. Why make it any harder on myself than I need to?

WAY TO GO ON 5 DAYS!!!!!!

Anna

Hi Shasta,

Congratulations on 5 days sober!

It's very hard for people to understand addiction and to understand what we have to go through to stop drinking and to stay sober. We never keep alcohol in the house and my husband stopped drinking when I did. Actually, I think my drinking put him off so much, he lost interest in it. And, yes, you're right about the fact that if I really wanted to drink, I would. But, then, there are those wee hours in the morning, when I can't sleep and sadness settles around me and I'm glad that my mind can't wander to the point when I can even consider having a drink.

ayla zaire

i am a vicoden addict....and i have to take vicoden for chronic pain.....i can't control it myself so i have to have someone hold it for me.......i can't imagine what you all go through having it so available.....you are all so incredibly strong.....

congratulations on your 5 days.....that is a huge accomplishment....those first days is the hardest....

hugs
ayla

lostmdboy

there is some hard stuff in my house, and maybe a little wine. Nothing I am really interested in. If there were beer, or some vodka it proably would not last long. For me I guees there is just certain things I have to keep away from, but if I really were set on drinking I know where to get it. So I guess it really does not matter. icould have a 12 pack and be drinking in 5 minutes if I really wanted.