RE: I need"something"
Fantastic Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 176
RE: I need"something"
I guess all I can say today is that I need"something"..............something is really missing here. I should be happy with the A's recovery...I should be...but I am even more angry...resentful you name it! I have checked into meetings for al Anon and I will go. The counselling is not doing it for me anymore. I really feel just awful...I truly feel as bad if not worse than last year. All of this unsettled business is really deeply getting to me...!
Glad you are all still here to lsiten
Much Love Kitty
Glad you are all still here to lsiten
Much Love Kitty
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Hey Kitty
Even though you sound a little stuck and unhappy right now, just acknowledging that you need more is a huge step.
I know you will find strength and happiness by working the steps and going to meetings. They may not be for everyone, but they sure are good for hardcore codependents like me. That is also where I found my Spiritual strength, and I shudder to think of where I would be today if I hadn't found both.
You deserve happiness, and I believe that you will find it. You never were one to give up easy
.
Just keep doing what is good for you, and let the rest of the world #$%@@!. (LOL I couldn't resist).
And know that we love you and care and are here for you always.
Even though you sound a little stuck and unhappy right now, just acknowledging that you need more is a huge step.
I know you will find strength and happiness by working the steps and going to meetings. They may not be for everyone, but they sure are good for hardcore codependents like me. That is also where I found my Spiritual strength, and I shudder to think of where I would be today if I hadn't found both.
You deserve happiness, and I believe that you will find it. You never were one to give up easy
.Just keep doing what is good for you, and let the rest of the world #$%@@!. (LOL I couldn't resist).
And know that we love you and care and are here for you always.
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Kitty,
DO find that Al Anon meeting. They have saved my life and I can't help but think you can get something there that you haven't been able to get from counseling. I think the key is in the people sitting in that Al Anon meeting. They HAVE been there, ARE there and KNOW exactly what we/you are going through. My Al Anon friends have given me such hope.
You hang in there, Kitty. I'm keeping you in my prayers.
Love,
Hangin' In
DO find that Al Anon meeting. They have saved my life and I can't help but think you can get something there that you haven't been able to get from counseling. I think the key is in the people sitting in that Al Anon meeting. They HAVE been there, ARE there and KNOW exactly what we/you are going through. My Al Anon friends have given me such hope.
You hang in there, Kitty. I'm keeping you in my prayers.
Love,
Hangin' In
I used to work here ;)
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
Posts: 2,024
****{Kitty}}}
Sending you some hugs and try to find a meeting. It might be what you are looking for. Be nice to yourself, you've been through a lot.
Many hugs.
Debbie
Sending you some hugs and try to find a meeting. It might be what you are looking for. Be nice to yourself, you've been through a lot.
Many hugs.
Debbie
Paused
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: San Diego, California
Posts: 19
I need something
Hi Kitty:
I hear ya, kiddo. My A is in recovery, doing OK, has a sponsor now. He went to our private Internist as he wasn't doing well at all, health wise. Our Doc is probably a recovering A.......sounds like it, but that's certainly OK. The A did lots of liver damage and brain damage with this last binge. He was in really bad shape. Being a nurse, I saw some very scary signs. For once, he followed my lead and went to the Doc.
All this happening has thrown me for a loop also. I'm very happy he's seeking help on his own and is admitting, finally, he has a problem, which is a disease. I kept mentioning it wouldn't be his fault if he had diabetes, cancer etc. So, treat alcoholism the same way.....get help!!!!!!! Oh well, we all know that story.
The damage, financially. legally and physically is overwhelming at times, isn't it? Like so many of you, I'm cleaning up the wreckage. He's in no shape to do anything right now. Life goes on and we cannot both go down too. I'm exhausted to be truly honest.
He called me today at my job. I work private duty in a lady's home. He announced that he was dropping a bombshell on me.......he wants a divorce and/or go to marriage counseling and wants to talk about it this afternoon. Nice way to start the day, huh? I consider the source, but it's unnerving. So we'll see.
((Hugs))
I hear ya, kiddo. My A is in recovery, doing OK, has a sponsor now. He went to our private Internist as he wasn't doing well at all, health wise. Our Doc is probably a recovering A.......sounds like it, but that's certainly OK. The A did lots of liver damage and brain damage with this last binge. He was in really bad shape. Being a nurse, I saw some very scary signs. For once, he followed my lead and went to the Doc.
All this happening has thrown me for a loop also. I'm very happy he's seeking help on his own and is admitting, finally, he has a problem, which is a disease. I kept mentioning it wouldn't be his fault if he had diabetes, cancer etc. So, treat alcoholism the same way.....get help!!!!!!! Oh well, we all know that story.
The damage, financially. legally and physically is overwhelming at times, isn't it? Like so many of you, I'm cleaning up the wreckage. He's in no shape to do anything right now. Life goes on and we cannot both go down too. I'm exhausted to be truly honest.
He called me today at my job. I work private duty in a lady's home. He announced that he was dropping a bombshell on me.......he wants a divorce and/or go to marriage counseling and wants to talk about it this afternoon. Nice way to start the day, huh? I consider the source, but it's unnerving. So we'll see.
((Hugs))
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Mt. Clemens, MI
Posts: 26
Hi Everyone,
I know some of the unsettled business and feeling, they get to me too. We have so much that needs to be done around the house, not to mention the damage control he should be trying to do.
Take this past weekend, my A who’s in recovery now had always liked to sleep, does he ever, he'll sleep his whole day away, well he stayed in bed till 1 P.M. on Good Friday. I couldn't take it, he wanted me to stay in bed with him but we have a 7-year who needs us too. I left to go to the gym around 10 A.M., when I got home he was still asleep, a hard sleep at that. My 7-year old had gotten himself his own breakfast which I know is OK but it time for Dad to be with his son, know what I mean.
Don’t get me wrong I like sleeping in too but this was starting to become a pattern with the A sleeping all day on his days off.
I finally went a little crazy and had to close the bedroom door, told the A it was bothering me to see him sleep his day away when he has us to spend his day with. He responded but I didn’t pay any attention to him, I’m kinda cute like that now since b/c of Al Anon, I can ignore the A. I become this pillar of salt when it come to the A's wind, he can only knock a few grains off. When I came back into our livingroom the A was just sitting on the couch, he said lets go do something. My thought was it's a little late in the day but at least we hadn't had a big fight.
Saturday morning came, I was afraid that the same thing was going to happen with him not getting up so I got up and went to the gym. While at the gym I let my mine go quite and try to figure out what I had to do. Was I going to leave him b/c of his sleeping pattens, is this the end, after all that I had gone thought with the A’s addiction in the last year? As I drove home from the gym, I began to brace myself for strength, for myself and my son, to do what I might need to do next. Well much to my surprise the A had gotten up and was working away on the bathroom, the worst room in the house. Honestly I didn’t know how to react for the rest of the day, I sure stayed quite. Kinda like a little girl staying good to get what she wants. It was kinda nice in an unsure type of way.
Sorry I wrote so much, it’s all just so one day at a time.
I know some of the unsettled business and feeling, they get to me too. We have so much that needs to be done around the house, not to mention the damage control he should be trying to do.
Take this past weekend, my A who’s in recovery now had always liked to sleep, does he ever, he'll sleep his whole day away, well he stayed in bed till 1 P.M. on Good Friday. I couldn't take it, he wanted me to stay in bed with him but we have a 7-year who needs us too. I left to go to the gym around 10 A.M., when I got home he was still asleep, a hard sleep at that. My 7-year old had gotten himself his own breakfast which I know is OK but it time for Dad to be with his son, know what I mean.
Don’t get me wrong I like sleeping in too but this was starting to become a pattern with the A sleeping all day on his days off.
I finally went a little crazy and had to close the bedroom door, told the A it was bothering me to see him sleep his day away when he has us to spend his day with. He responded but I didn’t pay any attention to him, I’m kinda cute like that now since b/c of Al Anon, I can ignore the A. I become this pillar of salt when it come to the A's wind, he can only knock a few grains off. When I came back into our livingroom the A was just sitting on the couch, he said lets go do something. My thought was it's a little late in the day but at least we hadn't had a big fight.
Saturday morning came, I was afraid that the same thing was going to happen with him not getting up so I got up and went to the gym. While at the gym I let my mine go quite and try to figure out what I had to do. Was I going to leave him b/c of his sleeping pattens, is this the end, after all that I had gone thought with the A’s addiction in the last year? As I drove home from the gym, I began to brace myself for strength, for myself and my son, to do what I might need to do next. Well much to my surprise the A had gotten up and was working away on the bathroom, the worst room in the house. Honestly I didn’t know how to react for the rest of the day, I sure stayed quite. Kinda like a little girl staying good to get what she wants. It was kinda nice in an unsure type of way.
Sorry I wrote so much, it’s all just so one day at a time.
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
I need
eyeswideopen,
Of course you need something...Those of us who live with additions have usually put our needs on hold waiting (for what?) for so long that it takes time, work, and being very gentle with ourselves to rediscover who we are, where we need to go, what we need to do, and most important ( for me) to find out WHO really is my Higher Power.
Take care and know you are loved...
Blessings to all...~~A~~
Of course you need something...Those of us who live with additions have usually put our needs on hold waiting (for what?) for so long that it takes time, work, and being very gentle with ourselves to rediscover who we are, where we need to go, what we need to do, and most important ( for me) to find out WHO really is my Higher Power.
Take care and know you are loved...
Blessings to all...~~A~~
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