Need someone to talk to.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Need someone to talk to.
Hi everyone,
I'm feeling lonely today. My husband is working massive overtime this week and I'll be eating supper alone even. I don't know how much longer I can stay on the computer. My back and my bad arm are really hurting. I'll come on again later after my prime time TV shows. I had to go out and shovel the sidewalks and stairs since my husband won't be able to. He doesn't like it when I shovel because he's afraid I'll make my back and arm worse. That's one of my biggest reasons for drinking. After I couldn't work anymore I got really depressed and I started drinking more then I use to. I hate living with this pain. I can't drive a car anymore since my arm got worse and I have to take a pillow with me to church and AA(last time I went). It's so embarrassing, especially at my age(40). I don't look my age either so that makes people stare too because I look 25 walking around with a stupid pillow. Well thanks for listening.
Barb
I'm feeling lonely today. My husband is working massive overtime this week and I'll be eating supper alone even. I don't know how much longer I can stay on the computer. My back and my bad arm are really hurting. I'll come on again later after my prime time TV shows. I had to go out and shovel the sidewalks and stairs since my husband won't be able to. He doesn't like it when I shovel because he's afraid I'll make my back and arm worse. That's one of my biggest reasons for drinking. After I couldn't work anymore I got really depressed and I started drinking more then I use to. I hate living with this pain. I can't drive a car anymore since my arm got worse and I have to take a pillow with me to church and AA(last time I went). It's so embarrassing, especially at my age(40). I don't look my age either so that makes people stare too because I look 25 walking around with a stupid pillow. Well thanks for listening.
Barb
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Hi Barb,
I am sorry that you're feeling lonely today and I hope that some of us here will be able to cheer you up a bit.
What kinds of things has your dr tried on your arm in order to lessen the pain? Have you been able to find any non-narcotic pain relievers that work for you?
I hope you're feeling better soon!
I am sorry that you're feeling lonely today and I hope that some of us here will be able to cheer you up a bit.
What kinds of things has your dr tried on your arm in order to lessen the pain? Have you been able to find any non-narcotic pain relievers that work for you?
I hope you're feeling better soon!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hugs and Prayers zinging your way
See if this helps your spirits
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/recovery-follies/
See if this helps your spirits
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/recovery-follies/
~Author of My Life~
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,796
****{Barb}}} I sooo undertsand the pain thing.tuck1 I have fibromyalgia, rotator cuff tear and bursitis in shoulder, disc problems in my back..just got over two nasty mrsa infections where they had to cut out abscesses....last friday went to ER couldn't breathe.now I have to use an inhaler.it sucks!........I am 35 and I know how it feels when people look at you like...she can't possibly hurt THAT bad......LIke hell.LOL.Pain is so so tough to deal with. I feel for you....my husband is gone 1-3 weeks at a time, he is a truck driver......I had to shovel this morning, finally my 14 yr old came out to help,grumbling the entire time like HE had the pain.LOL..He is a pain sometimes let me tell you.I love him, but man teenagers are tough.
YOU just take good care of YOU my dear.........don't feel guilty about relaxing and just hiding out now and then. I have to do it all the time.....PM me anytime if ya need to. There have been many a time I have had to come on here and just let it al out.vent, scream, holler.....cry.............
What are you watching tonight?
Many HUGS coming your way.hope you gte to feeling better real soon........
YOU just take good care of YOU my dear.........don't feel guilty about relaxing and just hiding out now and then. I have to do it all the time.....PM me anytime if ya need to. There have been many a time I have had to come on here and just let it al out.vent, scream, holler.....cry.............
What are you watching tonight?
Many HUGS coming your way.hope you gte to feeling better real soon........
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Feeling a little better- still hurting some
Hi guys, feeling a little better. Took some more tylenol-arthritis.
51anna- I have what is called thoracic outlet syndrome. It's still not to well known. It's a condition where the nerves and blood vessels are entwined in my shoulder. Its now affecting my back along with arthritis. I've had some drs. say "what's that?" LOL It took many drs. before I found one that knew what he was talking about. He's a rheumatologist. I was taking until they took it off the market. Now I just take tylenol-arthritis. I don't trust the drug companies. Probably someday I'll need something when I'm older. I was also in physical therapy 5 times I think. I loss count. There's nothing more they can do for me. My doctor said surgery is to risky to try now unless I'm really bad like not being able to move my arm at all. Most people get this from like car accidents or something. I got it from an idiot ex-husband that wasn't to nice to me. They have never giving me any narcotics. Thank God. That's the last thing I need. I probably told my dr that I'm a alcoholic back then and its still on record. I was going to AA back then when I was diagnose with it. I don't know why he doesn't say anything about my drinking. I told him I was thinking about quitting and he didn't say much. Maybe he's a drunk too. LOL
The hardest thing about this is not being able to work anymore. I loved my job that I had. My Dr. told me if I didn't stop doing that kind of work it would damage my arm more. I haven't worked full time since 1999. That's when my drinking got worse. I was a weekend binger. Now, I drink at least 5-6 rum and cokes a day. 2 litters will last me a week. I'm still a cheap drunk. I remember when I couldn't even drink 3 beers without pucking.
2stop- I'm glad there's someone that can relate to living in pain. Also, I was watching "Heroes" tonight. I love that show and "lost".
Thanks everybody
Barb
51anna- I have what is called thoracic outlet syndrome. It's still not to well known. It's a condition where the nerves and blood vessels are entwined in my shoulder. Its now affecting my back along with arthritis. I've had some drs. say "what's that?" LOL It took many drs. before I found one that knew what he was talking about. He's a rheumatologist. I was taking until they took it off the market. Now I just take tylenol-arthritis. I don't trust the drug companies. Probably someday I'll need something when I'm older. I was also in physical therapy 5 times I think. I loss count. There's nothing more they can do for me. My doctor said surgery is to risky to try now unless I'm really bad like not being able to move my arm at all. Most people get this from like car accidents or something. I got it from an idiot ex-husband that wasn't to nice to me. They have never giving me any narcotics. Thank God. That's the last thing I need. I probably told my dr that I'm a alcoholic back then and its still on record. I was going to AA back then when I was diagnose with it. I don't know why he doesn't say anything about my drinking. I told him I was thinking about quitting and he didn't say much. Maybe he's a drunk too. LOL
The hardest thing about this is not being able to work anymore. I loved my job that I had. My Dr. told me if I didn't stop doing that kind of work it would damage my arm more. I haven't worked full time since 1999. That's when my drinking got worse. I was a weekend binger. Now, I drink at least 5-6 rum and cokes a day. 2 litters will last me a week. I'm still a cheap drunk. I remember when I couldn't even drink 3 beers without pucking.
2stop- I'm glad there's someone that can relate to living in pain. Also, I was watching "Heroes" tonight. I love that show and "lost".
Thanks everybody
Barb
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
Hi Barb,
Oh yes, I can totally relate to your feelings. It is so hard to accept that you just cannot do the things you use to do. You get tired of going to Doctors, having medical tests, and trying other means of treatment for your condition. Many times I felt hopeless.
I hope you don't go down the road I did. I FELL for narcotics and fell hard in addiction. I am coming out of the haze (two months), and still don't feel quite right. However, I am glad I am not prisoner to that addiction.
Seek out support where you can. You will be ok. I learned I can live with my pain. Believe me, I have some BAD days, but I would rather have those bad days than be addicted to pain meds.
Keep posting, and glad you are here.
Oh yes, I can totally relate to your feelings. It is so hard to accept that you just cannot do the things you use to do. You get tired of going to Doctors, having medical tests, and trying other means of treatment for your condition. Many times I felt hopeless.
I hope you don't go down the road I did. I FELL for narcotics and fell hard in addiction. I am coming out of the haze (two months), and still don't feel quite right. However, I am glad I am not prisoner to that addiction.
Seek out support where you can. You will be ok. I learned I can live with my pain. Believe me, I have some BAD days, but I would rather have those bad days than be addicted to pain meds.
Keep posting, and glad you are here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Hi everyone, My arms feeling better today. It comes and goes in spurts. I forgot to put the name of the medicine I use to take. It was Vioxx. They took it off the market a couple of years ago. I was on it over 4 years so my husband was freaking when we heard about people having stokes and heartattackes from it.
I do feel antsy tonight. I'm almost out of rum and won't be able to get any until the end of the week. My husband always gets it for me. All that's in the house is my husbands beer. I HATE beer. Maybe I'll just not drink when I run out tomorrow. I do want to stop but somethings still holding me back. I don't know what it is. I'm always sitting on the fence post with my legs dangling. One leg on the AA side. The other leg on my drinking side. I've been having vivid dreaming about AA again. Then when I'm in AA I dream about drinking again. Does that happen to anyone?
I guess this is sort of like my little check in thread. I can't check in the other's because I still drink and I don't have any advice to give people because I'm still sick myself.
Barb
I do feel antsy tonight. I'm almost out of rum and won't be able to get any until the end of the week. My husband always gets it for me. All that's in the house is my husbands beer. I HATE beer. Maybe I'll just not drink when I run out tomorrow. I do want to stop but somethings still holding me back. I don't know what it is. I'm always sitting on the fence post with my legs dangling. One leg on the AA side. The other leg on my drinking side. I've been having vivid dreaming about AA again. Then when I'm in AA I dream about drinking again. Does that happen to anyone?
I guess this is sort of like my little check in thread. I can't check in the other's because I still drink and I don't have any advice to give people because I'm still sick myself.
Barb
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Having a really bad week
Hi Everyone,
I figured I cont on this post I started instead of starting a new one. I just needed to vent. I've been so depressed this week I can't stand it. I have cried so much that I'm horse, and I now have a bad cold. Its embarrassing to talk about my crying. I get real bad crying fits ever since I was a kid. Sometimes in a rage like cry. I'm sort of like Patty Duke in that movie I seen about her life. That's Me. I really hate myself this week when I act that way. Then I want to cry all the more. I do take St. John Wort for my depression. I don't think its working this week to well. Well I guess that's it. I just needed to write it down on here.
Barb
I figured I cont on this post I started instead of starting a new one. I just needed to vent. I've been so depressed this week I can't stand it. I have cried so much that I'm horse, and I now have a bad cold. Its embarrassing to talk about my crying. I get real bad crying fits ever since I was a kid. Sometimes in a rage like cry. I'm sort of like Patty Duke in that movie I seen about her life. That's Me. I really hate myself this week when I act that way. Then I want to cry all the more. I do take St. John Wort for my depression. I don't think its working this week to well. Well I guess that's it. I just needed to write it down on here.
Barb
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Hi scaredykat,
It's possible that your depression is caused by the drinking and that if you stop drinking, it will begin to life. Otherwise, talking to your dr about your depression is probably a good idea because medication can help. Either way, drinking will make you feel worse.
Don't give up hope in trying to find a solution for your pain that will work for you.
It's possible that your depression is caused by the drinking and that if you stop drinking, it will begin to life. Otherwise, talking to your dr about your depression is probably a good idea because medication can help. Either way, drinking will make you feel worse.
Don't give up hope in trying to find a solution for your pain that will work for you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: New York City, New York
Posts: 14
Everything thats bad in your life will remain AND get far worse as long as you keep drinking. Plus,...with every 5 or 6 (or more) rum and coke filled day, you bring you liver closer to irreversable damage and shutdown. Is drinking actually still "fun" for you????
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Hi Guys,
I tried writing on here earlier and it wouldn't take.
Anna- You are right about depression and drinking. I've known for a while now.
Free-at-last- To answer your question, drinking isn't any fun no more. It hasn't been for a while now. Since I had to quit working is when my drinking got worse. I don't have any friends anymore. I loss contact with all of my old co-workers. The only time it is fun to drink is with my husband on the weekends(mostly just Sat. anymore) when we have game night. The rest of the week I drink alone at home and watch TV and read a novel. I am worried about my health, especially since I turned 40 last year. I'm scared I'm destined for the same future like my grandfather. He died in his early 50's and I never met him.
Barb
I tried writing on here earlier and it wouldn't take.
Anna- You are right about depression and drinking. I've known for a while now.
Free-at-last- To answer your question, drinking isn't any fun no more. It hasn't been for a while now. Since I had to quit working is when my drinking got worse. I don't have any friends anymore. I loss contact with all of my old co-workers. The only time it is fun to drink is with my husband on the weekends(mostly just Sat. anymore) when we have game night. The rest of the week I drink alone at home and watch TV and read a novel. I am worried about my health, especially since I turned 40 last year. I'm scared I'm destined for the same future like my grandfather. He died in his early 50's and I never met him.
Barb
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