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For Snowboard..being a crappy friend

Old 02-25-2007, 06:50 AM
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No more merlot, more mamma
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For Snowboard..being a crappy friend

Some thoughts on what your friend said to you, bout not being there for him. I"ve been a REALLY crappy friend too, to more than one person.

I have a close friend who is chronically ill..she called one night and I was so drunk she didn't want to speak with me. This was a month ago and I haven't heard from her since. I"ve said things to people with no memory of what I said until they mention it. Apparently, I "outed" myself (I'm bi)at a picnic WITH WORKMATES and had no recall until I told my dear friend about A and she said she knew...then proceeded to tell me what I did!!!! I've drunk-texted all night and had to check my phone in the morning..you get the idea. I've had friends who've lost parents, who've needed me during the evening to comfort them and I didn't want to get behind the wheel to drive over to see them.

So, you are not alone. We've all been crappy friends.

I hope you're making it through today.

Karen
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Old 02-25-2007, 08:02 AM
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Hi merlot & snowboard,
As problem drinkers we've all had those moments of shame when we've woken up to the Four horsemen, Terror-Bewilderment-Frustration-Despair.
We shouldn't dwell in the guilt of the past but should look to the present were by not taking that first drink we can be sure that we wont go back to those dark days.We must stay focussed on the present taking on lifes challenges one day at a time.Then as we progress into recovery and our sobriety grows only then will we be able to make ammends to those we wronged during our lost days.
I wish you both well in your recovery.
Stay strong and true to yourselves !

chris.
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Old 02-25-2007, 10:27 AM
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merlot, thanks for taking the time to support snowboard.......honey, that's being a good friend....

in my opinion....we can't be great friends, or anything....mother, sister, wives.....until we get ourselves together......until we find our own peace.....if we are not sober, not happy in our own skin......each relationship we have will be just a shadow of what it could be......

i know we can love.....even without sobriety.....but without sobriety, our addictions come first.....and until we learn to care about ourselves, we can't completly care about others.....

i think it's important to keep working on your sobriety.....you are doing something very important for yourselves, and in turn, for the people you care about.....but right now you have to come first.......you will have plenty of time to mend your relationships......but early sobriety is such a confusing time, for you and those you care about.....they don't trust that we'll remain sober until we prove it to them, and we can't prove it without time......

keep working.....you can do this....

hugs
ayla
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