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I got some issues

Old 02-24-2007, 02:15 AM
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I got some issues

Ok so, hi everyone.
Im new, or ive been reading this forum for a week, erm so guess thats new :P
I have so much to write, its so much spinning around in my head. I would be typing forever, and you would be too bored to read

So ive been sober for 55 days, lifes a struggle. I have my ups and downs. Some days are really low.

Guess the reason i write here is, ive been through alot. Im not sure if its more then other people take, maybe everyone has the same life, same experience and same feelings and just shuts the **** up about it like i do. Im not sure, and im not saying that anyones life is easy cause i know its not. A friend told me once "I have no idea whats going around in your head, and you dont have to tell me. But sometime you gotta tell someone. You may feel aright now but it will be comming back right at you if you dont deal with it"
I guess she is right.

But i got noone to talk to. I have friends, but im still so lonely. I know i need to talk to someone, i need a friend to listen to my lifestory, my feelings for the day etc. But i cant do that to my in real life friends. Im afraid it would hurt people close to me more then it hurts me. Or atleast just as much and i rather not share it then.

So im a Swedish 20 years old female. My weaknesses are alcohol (been drinking for 5 years already), sex(yes its not a joke, i know theres not a forum for it here. guess people arnt serious about it) and emotions. I have insomnia and cant hadle food as in.. i dont eat. All connected to each other, and it has to change. I need someone to talk to, share thoughts and experience with etc. I want to listen if you want to tell me, and i need you to listen.

Im not sure what to write or say, ive never opened up. I love the way you are here, and i feel like this is what ive been looking for. Hope this is the place to reach out for support and new friends.

Well i had more to say then i thought at first. Thanks.
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Old 02-24-2007, 03:07 AM
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Hello & welcome to SR missminime,
congrats on 55 days,thats the same as me this recovery and yes as you say its tough but worth every second.The things that are spinning in your head should be shared here on SR as venting your emotions will help you and anybody feeling the same.None of us need to keep it all inside because eventualy we will weaken and go back to the old life.
For myself since finding SR I have found great comfort & support & good friends with similar issues to myself,a usefull tool in a programme of recovery.
Its good to have you on board !
chris
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Old 02-24-2007, 03:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Missminime View Post
... sex(yes its not a joke, i know theres not a forum for it here. guess people arnt serious about it)
People are serious about it, it is more a matter of... Sites that deal with just a sex addiction can do more for people in that area of need then just a small forum here can.

You are correct in that all are tied together in some fashion or another.
As you find solutions and answers to each area you are seeking info and support for, one area will help in the other as well.

Alcohol can bring down your self-esteem and your self-esteem or a lack of can be a root issue for your other issues you are looking at.

Good news... There is support and solutions. People do find answers every day and lives get changed.
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Old 02-24-2007, 03:46 AM
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Missminime,
Go ahead. I'm listening...
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Old 02-24-2007, 04:43 AM
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Hi and Welcome!

Congratulations on your sober time!
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Old 02-24-2007, 06:22 AM
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Hi Missminime, you can use this thread as a journal, just let

it all out, I'm listening. Sometimes we have to get everything out in the

open before we can try to put any order to haw we are going to attack

each issue.

Great start on 55 days, pat yourself on the back, thats fantastic!

Hugs ((((((((hope3))))))))
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Old 02-24-2007, 06:35 AM
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Originally Posted by Missminime View Post
Ok so, hi everyone.

But i got noone to talk to. I have friends, but im still so lonely. I know i need to talk to someone, i need a friend to listen to my lifestory, my feelings for the day etc.
Im not sure what to write or say, ive never opened up. I love the way you are here, and i feel like this is what ive been looking for. Hope this is the place to reach out for support and new friends.

.
Welcome Missinime to SR,

You have found a good place to come. Keep sharing with us,
we welcome you!

You are welcome to private message me. I am only happy to listen.
You are not alone and you can recover.
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Old 02-24-2007, 08:23 PM
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i'm glad you found us......there are so many caring and kind people here.....you will definately be able to find people with the same issues as you, people who will understand......

i'm sure there are other people here who have issues with sex addiction.....and there is a forum for eating disorders, as well.....

you should be proud of your sobertiime.....55 days is awesome.....but it can be so confusing when you are just learning to live and feel in a whole new way.....

i saw a doctor for my depression.....i'm on antidepressants, and i have to tell you , it has changed things for me.....i sleep better, still don't have much of and appetite.....but i feel so much better.......normal, you know? things are clearer to me and less confused and clouded......depression is considered clinical if it lasts more than 2 weeks....it's something to think about, if you have not already....

good luck
hugs
ayla
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Old 02-25-2007, 05:23 AM
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Good morning missminime, how's it going?

(((((((((hope3))))))))
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Old 02-25-2007, 06:13 AM
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Welcome, Missminime...

I have so much admiration and respect for someone your age stepping forward and trying to deal head-on with your problems. Congatulations!

55 sober days wonderful! I doubt I lasted five days without a drink when I was 20. In fact, until recently, I had not had 5 sober days in a row for over 25 years.

You will find a lot of wisdom, love, and support here. I can promise that nobody will judge you for your problems.

In my opinion, you have started dealing with your problems exactly the right way: staying sober first. I'm sure you know that it is impossible to think clearly while drinking.

Please feel free to open up and share yourself. You might be surprised at how many people here have similar experiences to your own.

Earl
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Old 02-25-2007, 09:55 AM
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Welcome.....I am the same as you with the men/sex and addiction. Keep coming here....It works and you are never alone!!!
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Old 02-26-2007, 04:59 AM
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Thank you so much for your answers and comments. Ive read them all, i got so much i want to say to every single one of you. Youre the kindest people ive met for a very long time. But i cant find the strenght to write, alot of things still spinning around in my head, i feel really low and im.. i cant find words.

I hope i can come back in a few days, when... again, i cant find the words.

Not drinking makes me emotional, i havnt cried much in my life and now i just feel like i want to cry all the time, like i need to cry.

I cant remember being happy, ive struggled through life. And now im taking care of it. But i have no idea where im going, whats my goal? To be happy? When do i know that everything is ok? Do i know what true happiness feels like? Am i damaged for life? Im so scared that i wont be able to get out of this. I cant go back to what things used to be, i dont want that and i was too young then. Im an adult now, will i be a totally new person? I cant decide if thats a good or a bad thing if so.

Im so sorry if i might sound confused, and if this post is a long mess. But i am confused :P

And thanks again all.

Oh and, im still sober :wow:
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Old 02-26-2007, 05:08 AM
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miss
Am i damaged for life?
nope.. with love, kindness, and understanding... even that old dog people say you cant teach new tricks to...

well we can... it just takes action... and on your part miss...

baby steps at first... keep'n the subs out is a start...

early recovery can be very confusing.. not to get nerved up...

start a new life miss... you can do it...

good wishes ... and if thats a pic of you... you look lost... well miss... now your being found...

xxoo, rz
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Old 02-26-2007, 05:10 AM
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Originally Posted by Missminime View Post

Not drinking makes me emotional, i havnt cried much in my life and now i just feel like i want to cry all the time, like i need to cry.


Oh and, im still sober :wow:
I enjoy the tears because I reached a point of having no emotions at all.
No matter what brings the tears, I see them as a good thing every time. They let me know that I am alive and tears clean out the negatives inside.

When will you know your answers? 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months?
Just know that no matter what comes your way, when we are sober and deal with what ever comes of life, we do end up happier then we would be if not sober. The happiness will show.

Good seeing that you are still sober. Congratulations.
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Old 02-26-2007, 05:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Missminime View Post
Not drinking makes me emotional, i havnt cried much in my life and now i just feel like i want to cry all the time, like i need to cry.
Hi Missminime,

It is OK to cry. In fact, crying is healing emotional pain. You have fought this much of your life. You need to cry! You will be stronger for it.

Good for you that you are sober! You are well on your way to recovery.

Keep posting. We are glad you are here.
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Old 02-26-2007, 05:37 AM
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Hi Missy, a 20 year old swedish girl who has a problem with alcohol and sex! It sounds like a joke but I know it isn't. I guess you would have problems opening up anywhere else but we here have been through our own hells.
I hope you don't mind me joking a little, I am certainly not laughing at you.
I am a 38 year old man and I have been through horrible mental times, I promise you this-if you need support it is here. Men and women from all ages.
Please keep posting.
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Old 02-27-2007, 07:06 AM
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Close one today.

I was so close of having a drink today or.. even to get drunk.
Spent the day with my younger brother and it was horrible. I took him to get his hair cut and nail done (ye he is metrosexual as hell lol, looks are very important :P) I paid for everything and i even bought him an ipod 2 days ago. Thought that it would make us get along better i guess. He was in a terrible mood all day and i tried to stay positive and cheer him up but nothing i said/did was good. Dont know what i did but he got really mad at me at lunch and told me that im such a cheap *****, that im a ****, that people really dont like me and he understands why, that im stupid and fat and ugly etc. This is what i used to hear from my mom, everyday, when i still lived at home. Every single day from as far as i can remember until i was 16 when i moved to my own appartment. My brother still lives at home and i guess he hear her talk like that about me and think its ok. I dont know.

Anyways i got so upset so i just left, i was so close to start crying and we dont do that in my family, its a sign of weekness, (tho my mom was allowed to cry when she told me that she regret having me and how much she wished that i was more like.. everything im not) so i had to get away. I decided that i had to get drunk, I didnt give a ****. So long without alcohol and i didnt care, all i needed was to get drunk, even tho i have work tonight. I tried to find a place that served alcohol that early when my brother called and told me how sorry he was. I guess i suprised him with just leaving without a word and when he realized how hurt i was he felt guilty. We decided to meet up again and he was being really nice.

58 days sober.

Home now and feeling really low. Should get some sleep before work in a few hours but all i can think off is how mad i am at my mom i dont hate her but i wish i could. I want to hate her but i cant, i blame her for everything.

Someone said that i could open post in this thread when i felt like it. and i needed to just.. get it out.

thanks
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Old 02-27-2007, 07:34 AM
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Hi Sweetie,
Hang in there and WAY TO GO on 58 days, wow!!! Thats awesome!

(((shhhh, told tell anyone I told you this, but the next time you go to your moms, put Vaseline in her mascara!! It wont dry!! )))
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Old 02-27-2007, 07:57 AM
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I moved out and stayed away from my parents. My mom and your mom sound like the same person.
You did good by removing yourself from your brother's rants as well.
By removing myself from such, I was better able to see who I am and who I am was not the same as what they said.
Mom with all her negative words, I found that she was that way because of her own issues. I know it hurts but when I realized where it comes from I was better able to deal with it.
You are doing so many things right. Good job.
Congratulations on 58 days sober.
You are worth it.
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Old 02-27-2007, 08:33 AM
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Hon (Southern term) I was 52 when I quit drinking, crying is the beginning of healing. When I was drinking I drank away my emotions or the ability to express them. Sobriety for me was the first time in over thirty years I had actually felt anything inside.

I still get emotional easy today, but I feel my emations are closer to normal now. For quite a while after getting sober I would cry at the drop of a hat, but with more sober time I am finding a true happiness thanks to AA and my Higher Power.

Congrats on the 58 days, if you have AA it may not be a bad thing to go there and just check things out, AA saved this old drunks life and brought happiness and joy to a lost soul that walked through hell for years.
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