Crumbs

Well I have made the decision that I am going to file for divorce. I cannot live like this any longer. I am really scared but I know that I don't have a choice. I made a call to the lawyer. Wish me luck. I am a nervous wreck!

Missy

((crumbs)))
Wish I could make a decission where I am at. I'm in a fog myself right now but admire the steps you are taking.

you'll get tons of support... just wait.

missy xo

Crumbs

Thank you. My heart is pounding. My ex and I are talking at 3:00 and I am going to let him know and hopefully get right over to the attorney while I am feeling strong.

Missy

Stay strong.

LaTeeDa

I admire your decision and your strength. Please keep in mind that you always have choices. You are making a choice and that's empowering. When you tell yourself you don't have choices, you're being a victim.

You go girl!

L

Cynay

Not an easy decision to make.... I feel for you being I have been divorced twice now.

All I can suggest is keeping really close to your HP (God) praying for his will and guidance ... that is the only thing that brought me peace when I was going through it.

Crumbs

Your right I can choose to live unhappy and feel sorry for myself. I am choosing to take a stand and start my life over.

LaTeeDa

Sounds like a wise choice to me.

Heavenlyx3

I just did the same thing last month. I am going through the process now. He made it a bit easier by moving out. He has also been sober since he did move out, and seeing the kids regularly (sober only, ever. No exceptions) Today I got the 1st draft of papers and even though they need to be altered a bit, I know and it does seem VERY real today. Keep yourself strong, and know that you are not nor will you ever be alone.

Hivemind

Way to go, Blessings and Strength

Crumbs

Well I told him and He told me that I was going to regret it for the rest of my life and that the grass will not be greener. I am a mess.

queenteree

Crumbs,
Stay strong! What he said is a manipulation tactic to make you doubt yourself. How green is the grass right now on this side? Be willing to take that chance if you really feel in your heart it is the right one.
QT

Crumbs

I am sitting at my desk in my office sobbing. I know that is the truth considering he is still drinking and told me once again he does not have a problem. I feel sick.

LaTeeDa

Just because he says it does not make it true. Did he also tell you your refrigerator was blue?

un4gvn acts

I am sobbing in my office too - I just read your reply to my thread!
We have to be strong...we can do this!
Hang in there girl.

Crumbs

I am trying. You too.

denny57

Hang in there, Crumbs. I cried my way through it, too.

A year later the only regret I may have is that I didn't find the strength sooner. I don't spend much time on regrets, though. I'm very grateful for the life I have today, out of the insanity of alcoholism. You will be sad, but sad does not translate to regret.

Keep posting; you're not alone.

Cynay

Sweetie... he does not have a problem

You do.

It is your life, you only get one, is this how you want to live it?

Heavenlyx3

My AH said pretty much the same thing at 1st. He has simmered down alot. All I know is that I was MISERABLE before he left. My kids were suffereing and now that he is gone we don't walk around with the knot in our tummys anymore. We see him most every day, and it's an awesome thing when he gets in his car and goes home. For now, this is a very good thing.

I was scared to death in the beginning too. Scared of change, scared of being alone, scared he would find someone else. Then I also had the I feel sorry for him moments. What struck me is I had very few feel sorry for myself moments. I realise now I never let my own feelings count. I do now or at least I am working on it. Part of letting go is morning what could have been or what one was. I'm told by my Dr. that I will go through every phase of grief with this. I havent even gotten the chance to grieve my own parents deaths due to being so caught up in the alcoholic whirlwind my AH created for us all. SO I have alot of work to do. I can promise you one thing tho. It will ease and get better with a little time. You'll be surprised how quickly you will realise how much you do NOT miss the discord. Just be gentle with yourself, cry when you feel like it and don't you even think about feeling guilty when you find the moments there is something to smile and laugh about again.

hope2bhappy

My AH used to tell me "You'll never find anyone like me." I'd say "Thank God!" But I have stayed in my marriage and weathered the storm. There's nothing wrong with doing that, either, as long as you know what to do for yourself and he is not abusive. Right now, I'm glad I stayed. Today I am married. Tomorrow... who knows?