Kittycat

Hi...........
It has been quite awhile since I have posted. Hoep this post finds all well and feeling spring in the air..............YEAH!
Well...I have dropped my divorce case with A...............can't say that I am still 100% convinced I have done the right thing. He still lives away from the house. I do see that our issues are way more than alcohol He has made a dramatic recovery, sober for six months...lost weight and looks very good. ....and as I said before.......it is annoying at times. They sure know how to preach redemption and feel every so secure with their back up groups( aa groups). I can feel really resentful about this. I hear over and over howI should just let it go of the past...MY how easy it is for them to say let is go! Where were they when things were really spinning................hmmmmm? This is the most difficult thing for me to let go of our past. I almost get ill when certain subjects come up.
Our couseling sessions have not gone that well..........he really challenges our counsellor when he does not agree with him on a subject...which makes me crazy too. When we don't go it is better...but i think it is the old carpet sweeping thing....when the issues stay buried.
My most stressful issue is how to tell my adult children that he is coming back. This is not going to go over at all.............it will be hell. This is not thei father and their father is a drunk too...that has not seen them in years(16)! I feel really upset about this.
Well.............I am rambling......

Love Kitty

Ann

****{Kitty}}}

Happy Easter Kitty, and it is GREAT to hear from you again.

I am happy thing are going better for you. Now you can see this one coming right?....Have YOU gone to any Anon meetings? Kitty if you haven't try one, or four, or six, but give it a shot. It will help you so much in releasing your resentments over the past. It doesn't mean that you have had nothing to resent, because I know your life was miserable, but it will help you deal with it and put it all in a better place called "experience" and stop eating away at you.

Pheww - I had to get that out quick before the claws came out LOL.

Anyway, I am glad to see you, REALLY, and I have missed your happy cat face.

P.S. I know you are truly feeling better because I didn't see a single #$@%!! in your post. I miss that too

liddy

Hi Kittycat
well you certainly have some issues to get through in this
marriage, is it the right time for you to bring him back in
the house or is it his manipulation backing you into a corner?
Just be sure this is what you want to do at this time.
If this is your decision and you are comfortable with it then I'm sure talking to your children who have probably seen the
worst parts in your marriage , are concerned for you and maybe
you can make them feel more at ease, explaining the counciling etc..
Hey Kittycat, glad your back-hope I wasnt rambling either I just detect your hesitancy so please procede with caution !
hugs
liddy

antreeta

Hello Kitty,
I can understand where you are coming from. My A, who at the time had 18 months sobriety, decided we weren't working out.
He moved into a recovery house.
Well, a month into it, he got bronchititis and panic attacks. (we have been back together not quite a month. He has been having panic attacks daily. This has become a priority with him, rather than attempting to make an effort on our marriage. He finally had an appointment with a psychiatrist, and she called in sick. Our family doc has prescribed Depakote and Zyprexia. Of course, this stresses him because he is certain he will be allergic to all medications.
My big issue was to tell my grown and almost grown children that he was moving back. My gut instinct was one more try. I was so stressed about telling them. Then I used my Al Anon principles and decided that it would affect my life not so much theirs, since only one is at home now. My daughter questioned me unmercifully. I just wouldn't budge on this issue. "This is my life"
Of course, if I go crazy over these panic attacks, then I am not working my program. I am concerned about him, for sure. He is still manipulative and goes to great lengths on how he has changed and nothing else has. The few changes he has made was he quit drinking and started to go to meetings. Personality is basically the same.
Now he has picked up gambling at the boat, he doesn't have panic attacks while doing that I have noticed.
I have to daily put him in my God box, but he keeps getting out.
I do realize I enjoyed my serenity when he was gone.
But anyway, one day at a time.
Blessings........