hope2bhappy

My AH just called me. Yesterday was his first day back at work since he got out of rehab. Since his "rock bottom" event happened while on the job, we knew he would be facing disciplinary action. He met with all the supervisors a little while ago. He was given 2 options: 1) face an administrative hearing where he might lose his job, or 2) accept 2 weeks suspension without pay. After reading their report of his actions that day, he went for door number 2.

Now, the legal part of me is saying "take the hearing, we can beat this." My theory... The AMA recognizes alcoholism as a medical illness. How can they fire someone for being sick? That would be like firing someone because they had diabetes right? There's probably legal precedent for this very argument.

The recovering codependent part of me is saying, "hands off... this is just another consequence of his drinking... let him live it and hopefully learn from it."

I'm going with the codependent part of me. But 2 weeks without pay... this is going to hurt... hurt ME as well as him. I never did anything wrong. I don't deserve to be punished. But then, again, none of us do.

dil

FWIW I think you're doing the right thing!

elizabeth1979

What will you learn from this?

GlassPrisoner

I thought this too. I called a lawer. He asked "Were you drinking on the job ? " I answered "Yes". End of conversation. I even approached my boss the day before he fired me and told him I want time off to get help.

I would've taken door # 2 also, BTW.

hope2bhappy

And it only makes me stronger in my resolve that my life WILL change (for the better), and I will not go back to the way it was. From this day FORWARD... it's not negotiable for me.

denny57

Many co-dependents enable because of the harm it will do them, not just the A. That's been very helpful to me in understanding "my part" in it all. Thank you for your honesty.

hope2bhappy

Absolutely! I wonder how much sooner my A would have found recovery if only I had been brave enough to face and suffer the consequences (which are always suffered jointly). I never looked at it as "enabling" -- I looked at it as protecting myself from scandal, embarrassment, financial harm... By protecting myself, I was also protecting him and his disease. I see that now.