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Newbie looking for friends

Old 02-20-2007, 07:54 PM
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Question Newbie looking for friends

I have been sober only one day. Before yesterday only a week. I am finding the hardest part of this is the lonliness. I enjoy not drinking but I don't seem to have any friends to support me. They all think I will get over my "virtuous" phase. My partner is still drinking. I am pretty sure we will not be together much longer. How do I get through this totally alone?
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Old 02-20-2007, 07:58 PM
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Welcome aboard, dubsnz1964. We're glad you're here. The old friends will probably disappear once they see you're not just "going through a phase". If you like the idea of going to meetings, you'll meet plenty of sober friends there.

And...we'll be your new remote friends here on SR! Congrats on your sober time so far!
 
Old 02-20-2007, 08:04 PM
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Thanks Midas

You are my first remote friend. What a buzz. Thank you so much. I have been in bed all day. Has anyone else lost their partners? I love my man but he is still drinking and I want so much to stop.
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Old 02-20-2007, 08:09 PM
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You're welcome.

Focus on getting yourself sober. That's plenty enough work!
 
Old 02-20-2007, 08:09 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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Welcome to SR!

Congrats on seeking a sober life..
I find AA is a vital support for me.

Keep posting...we do understand

Last edited by CarolD; 02-21-2007 at 12:27 PM.
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Old 02-20-2007, 08:13 PM
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Another friend here if you want.
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Old 02-20-2007, 08:17 PM
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Ok

It seems so simple doesn't it. I did have one friend that stopped and when I stopped last week I asked how he did it. He said "decide to stop". Last night, after I told him I had been sober a week he advised me to lose my drinking frends and get new ones. Do you all agree?

I will concentrate on myself getting sober for now but last night when he was drunk and angry and left me on my own, I drank. Even though I hated it! Yes - and all the head nightmare stuff, suicide thoughts etc.

I LOVE being sober. I had the best week of my adult life last week!!!

With that in mind, last night made me depressed. I know what I want. I want it so badly. Badly enough to lose my friends and love?
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Old 02-20-2007, 08:25 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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For me...I loved me better than my lover or drinking friends.

I was sooo depressed from drinking
I knew I was going to die if I did not quit.

Please please do not let your drinking take
you to that dark dismal place.

You are wirth so much...no one has the right
to disrespect or abuse you.

Be strong...You too can quit.
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Old 02-20-2007, 08:31 PM
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dubs....you aren't alone anymore.....

good luck, hon...

hugs
ayla
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Old 02-20-2007, 08:32 PM
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Red face

I started to love myself last week.
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Old 02-20-2007, 08:34 PM
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Thanks Ayla. I have to go cry now. It means so much that you guys are there.
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Old 02-20-2007, 08:39 PM
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cry all you need....i've got a good shoulder....

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ayla
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Old 02-20-2007, 08:49 PM
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everything is already ok
 
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Welcome to SR, glad your with us
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Old 02-20-2007, 09:01 PM
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Another friend here!

Please make sobriety the most important thing in your life. Any "friend" who teases you or criticizes you for being sober or tries to encourage you to drink, is no friend! I had to let so-called "friends" fall by the wayside when I was in my early sobriety, but guess what? I inherited a huge loving family through my AA meetings. Please go to lots of meetings, you won't be sorry and you won't feel lonely again. And please keep coming back here. We all care and we're here for you. You'll come to love the people here because we understand what you say and feel. We've been there, done that.... and we'll share our experiences, strengths and hopes with you.

Good luck,
Luv2All
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Old 02-20-2007, 09:02 PM
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Hi Creekrider! I guess we are in this together then. Go us!

I have the "downs" today from last night so I am not feeling that great just yet.

Does anyone here drink just one or two or set limits that work for them? Is total abstinence the only way? I find one glass of wine gives me big craves for number two.

I seem to be able to drink a couple of spritzers before dinner, nothing at dinner and then go on to have a cup of tea.

I have rediscovered tv and movies and I have invested in a nice big flat panel tv as a reward for week 1.
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Old 02-20-2007, 09:08 PM
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Thanks everyone. I already love you all!
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Old 02-21-2007, 05:45 AM
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let it grow!
 
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welcome, dubs - nice to meet you. keep posting! sending encouragement and blessings, k

recovery is possible.
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Old 02-21-2007, 06:22 AM
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Hit there dubs!!
Glad you found us. I know that I can't have just one or 2. If I have 1, or even 1 sip for that matter, I'm dust! I'll drink until I pass out.(see my signature at bottom) Only you know for sure if you are an alcoholic, and if you are I wouldn't even give moderation a try. It's just prolonging your freedom & happiness.
Looking forward to getting to know you better.

Your new sober friend,
tj
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Old 02-21-2007, 06:31 AM
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dub

dub, i had my 1st one at age 13, and my last one at age 48...

one for me now... ppfftt.. why 1 donut turned to 13 one night.. do i dare have one drink?... nah, sob'a is bet'a for me... way bet'a

good wishes dub.............................. xxoo, rz
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Old 02-21-2007, 06:46 AM
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Hi Dubs,

Welcome to SR. You never have to be alone. Get to a meeting or come here.

I too have lost a partner. VERY painful, still grieving, but if we were together, I would not live. I cannot be with a partner who is actively using. This type of relationship has never worked for me.
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