Lost762

Hello everyone. I haven't posted in this forum yet, but I hope you'll all be willing to help me out here. Usually i'm posting in the family and friends of substance abusers forum. Isn't it great, I know people who are abusing all kinds of drugs. jk It's bad. Anyway. My best buddy appears to have a drinking problem, and I don't believe he realizes it. He just moved out to Germany after college for a year, and is basically trying anything and everything alcoholic out there. Sampling is o.k. I guess, but he does a lot of binge drinking from the sound of it. We're talking at least once or twice a week. Usually having at least a couple drinks a day. To the best of my knowledge anyway. He has refered to alcohol as his "comfort blanket that makes him feel warm and fuzzy", and this worries me.

SO......

I'm wondering if anyone can give me a suggestion on how to mention this to him, and TRY and get him to realize his problem? I've mentioned it to him gently before, but haven't really gone as far as to tell him that I think he has a problem, and needs to do something about it. I've pretty much just brought it to his attention that he is doing a lot of drinking and needs to be careful. He says he's got it under control, but given how often he gets drunk, I can tell he doesn't. Any suggestions? Perhaps a few questions I can ask him to where if he answers "yes" it will pretty much show he's an alcoholic??

Any advice would be appreciated. I just lost my fiance to Heroin, and don't want to loose my best buddy to booze.

Thank you all.

best

For some, a letter from the heart telling of their concern was the best thing they could do...for themself.
By doing such it allowed them to know that they did what they thought would help ( a few have said it helped to some degree)
The best we can do is tell them once, maybe a second time so we are sure they heard us and then after that... it is up to them to use the info or forget what was said.
Our knowing the answers when a day comes that they ask for help is the best thing we can do.

I think I have a drinking problem...what should I do about it?

and the answer would be... Give AA or some other support program a try. Many have found that they work and your not alone when you seek their support.

The more we know about alcoholism, the more we can guide others when they ask the questions. Till they ask there is nothing we can do but pray for them.
It needs be their choice.

Grasshopper

Those who said anything about my drinking,i gave the boots to.Meaning i got mad,left them,defended myself,or just told them where to go.I wasnt ready to hear---to listen---to any good advice,at that time.
It wasnt until i had had enough,that i sought help.Until i amitted in my inner most self,that i needed help.Have your tried Al-anon?Its a recovery program for the family/friends of alcoholics.If anothers drinking is bothering you,then its an issue with you,that you can find fellowship and help.
The road that leads to hell-
Is paved with folks with good intentions.
Thanks for letting me share.Im just one alcoholic.Your friend may take your concern well,i dont know.I know --i---didnt at the time...smile.

parentrecovers

hello lost, your friend is lucky to have you. you can certainly set a good example by not drinking with/around him. and you could let him know how his behaivior is affecting your friendship. but grasshopper is right - be prepared for the possibility that your friend will withdraw from you if do that.

i have a daughter in early recovery from alcholism - alanon helps me.

blessings, k

eleanor_rigby

Hi Lost, I don't know if you've seen my older post on here, but I'm going through kinda the same thing as you. It seems if I give my mate advice we argue, and she's totally someone else when there's booze in her system. I've reached the point now (thanks to this forum) where I've realised that I can't force her to stop, and the only thing I can do is be a good friend to her and pick up the pieces the best I can. All I can say is that I hope both of our mates pull through, time is a healer and there's no way to force people to change.

Lost762

Thank you all for the advice. I believe I will mention it to my buddy again, and really tell him about my concern. We've been BEST friends since I was 13 (9 years ago), and I know he respects my opinion and will listen to me. I just don't know if he will hear me you know? I know I can't make him realize anything, but I just want to bring it to his attention and make him think about it. Thanks everyone....wish me luck.

P.S. Why is there an icon with two little smiley face guys drinking? Is that really appropriate for this site? lmao I mean come on. We might as well have one with a guy snorting a line? OH well.

best

The icon thing has been brought up before. Sorry, I don't remember what was said about it but it may be that... who knows what is in the glass?

As to your friend....
You are right... He will listen but he may not hear.
I listened and didn't hear but when the time came that I started making the right choices, I remember every encouraging word that was told me over time.