OkayWithMyself

Recently at an Al-Anon meeting, I read the traits of codependents from the Codependents Anonymous text.
After the meeting I was told......"You should only read from Conference Approved Literature" something referred to as CAL.

So looking at some CAL, I find on page 163 of Paths To Recovery, it says "on occasion members my use brief excerps or ideas from outside literature....." So the next time I do such a "blashphemous" thing, I have a backup. I know it is okay, because my friend Cal says so.

Anyway, I now like to quote some CAL directly at every opportunity....knowing I can't be critisized for it....
Paths to Recovery, page 172, "When I first came to Al-Anon, I was told for the first year not to read anything but CAL. If I needed something more, I was told to find a good murder mystery or a good sex book. This was good advice for me."
Ha ha ha!!!

Now I'm "in twubble" again for inviting a local family therapist who specializes in family abuse, to speak at our meeting. So once again, I had to dig throught the CAL to find out that, yes it is okay to occasionally have an outside speaker. (Al-Anon Service Manual, page 37.)

So if you happen to be one of those stuffy Al-Anon stick in the muds, why don't you just tuck in your shirt, and go read a good sex book.
Cal said it's okay!!

Today,I choose to live just for today.
Today,I let go of all fear.
Today, I am okay with myself.

Ann

OWM

If this does it for you, well stick to it. Personally dedicating so much time trying to annoy others would affect my recovery.

My guess is that you like to rile the waters, and quite frankly all that does is rile the waters. It does nothing for you and nothing for them, so why bother.

If you don't like the meetings, don't go. If you think Anons are "sticks in the mud", then get out of the mud.

And if reading sex books is your thing...well good for you. I always believed that actions speak louder than words

OkayWithMyself

Anns, I'm famous for riding the edges of boundaries, definitely one of my character traits, that has gotten me into trouble on more than one occasion.
I recently accepted a three year commitment of being the group rep for my struggling Al-Anon group, that had no officers of any kind.
I keep running into "brick walls" as I try new things to attract people to our meetings.
I have a hard time understanding why books such as Melodie Beattie's Language Of Letting Go are "forbidden" to be discussed at a meeting.
When we pass the basket to collect 7th tradition money, and I watch people who drive BMWs throw in $1, I have a hard time not thinking "pretty good therapy for a buck". Then half of what we collect goes to the meeting hall for rent, leaving us with "not much". I know I need to address this subject somehow to the group, but know I will be somehow running into another wall, breaking some rule. Any suggestions?

I owe a lot to recovery. Most importantly the discovery and acceptance of my Higher Power.

P.S. Sometimes I wish I had enough guts to go buy a good sex book. Ha ha.

Best wishes to you, and to all on this special day.
Participation is the key to harmony.

JT

I agree "pretty good therapy for a buck".

There are rules in life and it doesn't pay to beat my head into a wall trying to fight them. One of my characture defects is fighting authority and it hasn't served me well.

The CAL rule kept me away from ANY outside lliterature for a very long time but I noticed that The Daily Reminder is often from an outside source so I started looking for some of that literature. And branched out from there over time. But the hard core basis of my recovery is based on the teachings of CAL.

I don't see any problem with the CAL rule. It only applies to discussion during meetings and anything found in Melody Beattie Books is also found in CAL if you look. That is after all where she comes from, too.

As to the buck? I never really cared what people drove and compared it to what they donated. When a Beemer pulled into the lot my only thought at that time was...it happens to people like them too.

Judging and controlling others is part of our disease...fighting authority and beating our heads against walls is on the list too.

My suggestion? Lighten up... Happy Easter!

JT

paradox

If you do bring up the amount of money being contributed keep in mind that there could be some reasons. I go to more than one meeting a week and yes I only give one or two bucks but my husband used the credit cards to finance drinking binges after he stopped working. He maxed out two credit cards that we had just paid off in a six month period plus our income has now been reduced by half.

If it was brought up during the business meeting that we were short for the meeting room or another expense I would be glad to try to kick in extra to help. I would be embarressed if it was just pointed out that someone doesn't feel I give enough. I mean I have about $45 left right now to last me for the next 10 days.

It's hard to know why people give alot or a little. I also can't keep cash on me because when he's desparate for a drink he will take the money right out of my purse when I'm asleep and search for my hiding spots.

Just something to consider.

Hangin' In

I find it hard to believe that someone has the time to even be concerned with how much someone is or isn't giving at an Al Anon meeting.

My thought is that most people at an Al Anon meeting have MUCH BIGGER fish to fry than to worry about watching how much money goes in the pot. I know I do. Maybe I should pray for a life that allows me the time to be concerned about such trivial things.

I know God knows the heart of the giver and that is all that matters.