Minor Victory..maybe?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 14
Minor Victory..maybe?
Hi there folks,
It's me Katie...that alcoholic you've been hearing from lately.
Anyway, if you happened to read my reply to "Rugbyguy79" about the Super Bowl party that he was struggling about whether or not to go to - (my response is #19) you'd know that, I too, was having a big struggle about what to do this past Super Bowl Sunday. (Which, in retrospect, you realize is so silly, cause you put all this stock into one day, that comes and goes so fast, that you barely have time to even realize what happened...but still, our society makes such a big deal out it. I suppose that now it's time to start thinking toward St. Patty's Day, yet another completely reasonable excuse to go off the wagon for just "a day"). In any event, my sarcasm is only directed toward myself...seriously. I cast no stones, as I live in a very fragile, glass house.
But, I digress...well, not really...
So - my best friends from college were having this party on Super Bowl Sunday, and kept on inviting my fiance and I to come over to it, all week prior to it. These are friends who are huge drinkers and partiers, who one day, might also start the process of seeking help for themselves. The thing is, when they are not drunk, they are totally classy and fun, and it seems really inviting to accept their invitation to come over. They make it seem like it will be so mellow and low key and enjoyable. So, I always get sucked into going over and having a "civilazed" glass of wine - which invariably goes downhill from there. Which brings me to my next point...
I always fall into that trap. Thinking that John (my fiance, who's not a substance abuser) and I will be able to go over there for a short while, hang out for a little bit, and then leave. I always get too excited with the situation, and drink way beyond what I should. John starts discreetly telling me that it's time to go (which is usually past 11pm or midnight or even later) and then I get beligerant, cause I'm drunk, and tell him to not try to hinder my relationships with my friends. I know...you don't have to tell me...I act like a typical self-centered alcholic.
Anyway, on Sunday, I made the decision ahead of time, that I wasn't going to go over to their house. I made plans with my fiance to spend the day doing something else. This was a big deal, considering that all my other friends were there, and it was the Super Bowl, etc... John and I spent the day out by the ocean, and I drank tea. It was really nice - hard at times, thinking about everyone else partying...but I was really digging the self control that I was having.
We started to drive back from the coast, and my cell phone came back into service range. I had a message from a very close friend, who was at the party, but not a partier herself (I trust her - she is actually going to be my maid of honor) and she told me to come on over - that there was no coke, and that things were mellow, and that there was lots of good food.
John and I were hungry, so we decided to stop by. Well - let me tell you - when I got there, the girl who was hosting the party, was so completely ****-faced. It was only 7pm, but she couldn't get a coherent sentence out of her mouth. She kept on passing out - on the couch, on the futon, on the bed, on the kitchen table. Her husband wasn't that drunk yet, but proceeded to get drunker as we were there. He started doing shots, with beer chasers. John and I were out in the living room, and he came out and smacked John in the head and said that we needed to "liven up." Most of the time, I would have been right there, partying with them, but being sober, and watching this, was just completely gross to me. I felt really tense that my friend had smacked John that way, but was relieved to see that John handled the whole thing with restraint - I guess he has gotten a lot of practice, particulary cause he has had to deal with me drunk, albiet, I never get violent.
The point I'm getting at is, that I was really grossed out by my friends. The girl was so - and I hate to say it - but pathetic. It was 7pm, and she couldn't even greet me to say hello, cause she was already passing out - and she had been inviting me to come to this all week...! and reassuring me about how mellow it would be, cause she knows that I'm starting to have sensitivities about alcohol and drugs.
About 10pm, I suggested to John that we leave - a first, cause he always ends up dragging ME out of there. I was able to drive home, sober, without any fear of not passing a roadside sobriety test.
It just felt so good to feel that in control of myself - especially on Super Bowl Sunday. I have been drunk for so many Super Bowl Sundays, that this was a welcome reprieve. I hope that this isn't just a novelty feeling for me. I hope that it sticks. I really, really, like the feeling of getting in control of myself.
Wow - this post has gotten ridiculously long. Thank you so much to any of you who have stayed with me this far into the post!
I'd really like to find a couple of online sober buddies, who I can check in with each day, and share and receive support from. These forums are really great, and I look forward to reading them and posting on them, but if there is anyone who would like to communicate on a more direct basis - let me know. I think it would help me stay accountable, and I'll do whatever I can do to offer support, even if it's just a listening ear, in return.
Again - thanks for reading through all this. We WILL get sober! It's gonna be great once we get there.
xoxo,
Katie
It's me Katie...that alcoholic you've been hearing from lately.
Anyway, if you happened to read my reply to "Rugbyguy79" about the Super Bowl party that he was struggling about whether or not to go to - (my response is #19) you'd know that, I too, was having a big struggle about what to do this past Super Bowl Sunday. (Which, in retrospect, you realize is so silly, cause you put all this stock into one day, that comes and goes so fast, that you barely have time to even realize what happened...but still, our society makes such a big deal out it. I suppose that now it's time to start thinking toward St. Patty's Day, yet another completely reasonable excuse to go off the wagon for just "a day"). In any event, my sarcasm is only directed toward myself...seriously. I cast no stones, as I live in a very fragile, glass house.
But, I digress...well, not really...
So - my best friends from college were having this party on Super Bowl Sunday, and kept on inviting my fiance and I to come over to it, all week prior to it. These are friends who are huge drinkers and partiers, who one day, might also start the process of seeking help for themselves. The thing is, when they are not drunk, they are totally classy and fun, and it seems really inviting to accept their invitation to come over. They make it seem like it will be so mellow and low key and enjoyable. So, I always get sucked into going over and having a "civilazed" glass of wine - which invariably goes downhill from there. Which brings me to my next point...
I always fall into that trap. Thinking that John (my fiance, who's not a substance abuser) and I will be able to go over there for a short while, hang out for a little bit, and then leave. I always get too excited with the situation, and drink way beyond what I should. John starts discreetly telling me that it's time to go (which is usually past 11pm or midnight or even later) and then I get beligerant, cause I'm drunk, and tell him to not try to hinder my relationships with my friends. I know...you don't have to tell me...I act like a typical self-centered alcholic.
Anyway, on Sunday, I made the decision ahead of time, that I wasn't going to go over to their house. I made plans with my fiance to spend the day doing something else. This was a big deal, considering that all my other friends were there, and it was the Super Bowl, etc... John and I spent the day out by the ocean, and I drank tea. It was really nice - hard at times, thinking about everyone else partying...but I was really digging the self control that I was having.
We started to drive back from the coast, and my cell phone came back into service range. I had a message from a very close friend, who was at the party, but not a partier herself (I trust her - she is actually going to be my maid of honor) and she told me to come on over - that there was no coke, and that things were mellow, and that there was lots of good food.
John and I were hungry, so we decided to stop by. Well - let me tell you - when I got there, the girl who was hosting the party, was so completely ****-faced. It was only 7pm, but she couldn't get a coherent sentence out of her mouth. She kept on passing out - on the couch, on the futon, on the bed, on the kitchen table. Her husband wasn't that drunk yet, but proceeded to get drunker as we were there. He started doing shots, with beer chasers. John and I were out in the living room, and he came out and smacked John in the head and said that we needed to "liven up." Most of the time, I would have been right there, partying with them, but being sober, and watching this, was just completely gross to me. I felt really tense that my friend had smacked John that way, but was relieved to see that John handled the whole thing with restraint - I guess he has gotten a lot of practice, particulary cause he has had to deal with me drunk, albiet, I never get violent.
The point I'm getting at is, that I was really grossed out by my friends. The girl was so - and I hate to say it - but pathetic. It was 7pm, and she couldn't even greet me to say hello, cause she was already passing out - and she had been inviting me to come to this all week...! and reassuring me about how mellow it would be, cause she knows that I'm starting to have sensitivities about alcohol and drugs.
About 10pm, I suggested to John that we leave - a first, cause he always ends up dragging ME out of there. I was able to drive home, sober, without any fear of not passing a roadside sobriety test.
It just felt so good to feel that in control of myself - especially on Super Bowl Sunday. I have been drunk for so many Super Bowl Sundays, that this was a welcome reprieve. I hope that this isn't just a novelty feeling for me. I hope that it sticks. I really, really, like the feeling of getting in control of myself.
Wow - this post has gotten ridiculously long. Thank you so much to any of you who have stayed with me this far into the post!
I'd really like to find a couple of online sober buddies, who I can check in with each day, and share and receive support from. These forums are really great, and I look forward to reading them and posting on them, but if there is anyone who would like to communicate on a more direct basis - let me know. I think it would help me stay accountable, and I'll do whatever I can do to offer support, even if it's just a listening ear, in return.
Again - thanks for reading through all this. We WILL get sober! It's gonna be great once we get there.
xoxo,
Katie
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
katie, all i can say... you shure have the gift of gab! lol.. and if it keeps you from drinking, and get'n sob'a!!!
gab away...
yep, be'n around drunks is like a trip in the looking glass...
way to go alice...
all good wishes, katie... am always around...
xxoo, zip
gab away...
yep, be'n around drunks is like a trip in the looking glass...
way to go alice...
all good wishes, katie... am always around...
xxoo, zip
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in a better place
Posts: 1,406
wow, katie, you really had a wake up call to see what you must look like to sober people when you are drunk. It's not a pretty sight! I also hope it sticks and the novelty doesn't wear off.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Originally Posted by Katie30 
Yikes - I feel embarrassed. 
I guess I have been posting a lot. I'll tame it down. Sorry.
I guess I have been posting a lot. I'll tame it down. Sorry.
. I enjoyed reading your opening post. I love reading about the triumphs people have and the circumstances surrounding them. It's important to realise the feelings that come along with good times too. There are plenty of doom and gloom posts. Thank you for writing about a personal victory!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
I'd really like to find a couple of online sober buddies, who I can check in with each day, and share and receive support from. These forums are really great, and I look forward to reading them and posting on them, but if there is anyone who would like to communicate on a more direct basis - let me know. I think it would help me stay accountable, and I'll do whatever I can do to offer support, even if it's just a listening ear, in return.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Yikes - I feel embarrassed.
I guess I have been posting a lot. I'll tame it down. Sorry.
I guess I have been posting a lot. I'll tame it down. Sorry.
SR has plenty of room and you are winning!
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
"The point I'm getting at is, that I was really grossed out by my friends."
No other way to say it, they are NOT your friends...........
I found almost entirely ALL NEW FRIENDS IN SOBRIETY.
Alcoholism is a disease, I sure hope you will get involved in some sort of formal recovery.
AA saved my lfe.........
No other way to say it, they are NOT your friends...........
I found almost entirely ALL NEW FRIENDS IN SOBRIETY.
Alcoholism is a disease, I sure hope you will get involved in some sort of formal recovery.
AA saved my lfe.........
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