CBB126

Hey all - I am looking for some advice. My Mother in Law from hell is in the hospital..just found out a few hours ago. She is an alcoholic as well as my husband. Husband and I have not been doing well, I have decided to move on and we have been really just roomates for the past few months, cordial, but me working on myself and realizing I am worth more. AH always put his mother first in our marriage, has been a difficult thing to deal with over the years. Mother in Law always enabled son, effectively pushing me out the picture. Fast forward to today. I get a call from AH friend, saying that where is AH, he is not at work. I thought he was at work. I called his work and cell phone, no answer. 2 hours later, AH calls me. Mom is in the hospital, don't know what is wrong and phone disconnects. It is now several hours later and AH has not called me to let me know how things are going. He didn't call me to let me know he was leaving work, I had to find out from his friend, and now he is not returing the call. I have called him several times, I feel as though he should have called and let me know what is going on. I was debating whether to go to the hospital, but am still angry that I had to find out this way. Any advice?

mallowcup

Some hospitals still won't allow cell phone use, it screws up the heart monitors. Anything could have happened. He may not be thinking of calling, he knows how you feel about his mother and if he's hurting, even if it's true he may not feel you'd be supportive. You have no reason to be. Without knowing what's going on, there are many reasons he may not call. Somebodys mother is still somebodys mother.

lilac

Like mallowcup said, a lot of hospitals don't allow cell phone use, and for those that do, it is almost impossible to get a signal. He probably has his own reasons (whatever they may be , right or wrong) for not calling right now.

mallowcup

I think when an alcoholic loses or is threatened to lose their enabler, it is devasting, truly. An enabler, enables but they do it because they think they are loving. An alcoholic knows this deep down. They know this person has "loved" them the best they knew how. This woman is lost in her own disease. I think this is particularly true when it is a parent/child relationship. I could be wrong. I hope it all ends well.