how to deal with denial
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: MI
Posts: 2
how to deal with denial
I just don't know how to deal with my bf's denial about his alcoholism/problem drinking. I have my own issues with drinking, but am ready to stop and he won't even admit he has a problem. I love him and don't want to leave the relationship. I know I can't change him or control him, I wonder if anyone has any advice on how to deal with it. Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Posts: 23
Do you have a copy of the AA Big Book? Why don't you start reading that, maybe ask him to read some too. You can't convince someone that they have a problem. They have to come to that realization for themselves. Good luck. Whatever you do, please take care of YOURSELF. If you want to work on your problems, you do what is necessary to get yourself better. YOU are the only one you can work on.
'55 Classic
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Waco, TX
Posts: 637
Being married to a recovering alcoholic/addict I can hear what you are saying and think to myself, "But for the grace of God go I." It's not an easy place to be living. Remember that your recovery must come first. If you so choose, use AA for that. To deal with you AB, use Alanon. I know what to say to the alcoholic, but I'm not as good at talking to the other role you have to play in life as the loved one of a practicing alcoholic.
That being said, let me remind you that we have to let an individual come to their own admission that they are one of us. It would serve no good purpose if we brow beat them into the program because it could come back and bite us in the tush. I'm sure there will be more folks here to give good suggestions. There is a whole forum here at SR dedicated to folks going through the same stuff with their loved ones. It might be wise to take a look at some of the postings there. Good luck to you and take care of yourself.
That being said, let me remind you that we have to let an individual come to their own admission that they are one of us. It would serve no good purpose if we brow beat them into the program because it could come back and bite us in the tush. I'm sure there will be more folks here to give good suggestions. There is a whole forum here at SR dedicated to folks going through the same stuff with their loved ones. It might be wise to take a look at some of the postings there. Good luck to you and take care of yourself.
Last edited by Sheryl85; 02-02-2007 at 07:25 AM. Reason: spelling correction
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
welcome, tobe. i don't think you can really control or cure your bf's disease. but it sounds like by admitting your problem and working on your own recovery, you can set a great example. take good care of yourself. blessings, k
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by parentrecovers 
welcome, tobe. i don't think you can really control or cure your bf's disease. but it sounds like by admitting your problem and working on your own recovery, you can set a great example. take good care of yourself. blessings, k
I'll having trouble today after my drinking bout again last night. I'm attending AA meetings and I still can't over come the urge to drink.
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