rugbyguy79

Hey, I have been checking out this board for a few weeks, and a few nights ago decided to go for it. I am 27, started drinking around 15, and did not really stop since. For a long time was drinking until blackout every night (12+ beers and half a bottle of jager). I have always been good at my job, although my co workers knew I drank a lot at night (bloodshot eyes, smelled like a brewery). Over the last six months, I have cut down, trying to eliminate the hard alcohol, but still drinking every night. The last two weeks, I have cut down to 6 or seven beers a night, with a few jaeger binges thrown in here and there. Anyway, after some soul searching, I decided to go for it on Monday night. I had opened my second beer, thought about, and poured it down the sink, and have not had any since. Anyway, I am feeling fairly strong, I have had some night sweats and am fairly crabby in the evenings, but feel confident. I have yet to put myself in a social situation, which is where my concern comes up. As you know, this sunday is the superbowl, and my friend is having a big party. I am not going to drink until then, and plan on continuing with not drinking after it, but drinking on sunday. This event has been in the back of my mind for a few months, and is usually a pretty drunken affair, so I think mentally it is hard to envision going to it and not drinking. I suppose the smartest thing to do is not go at all, but is it the end of the world to drink one day, and then go back to not drinking if it is planned well in advance?

I am also curious to hear from people who have been sucessful quitting without meetings and or therapy. I feel confident that I can do it on my own, I have not actually felt the want to quit until recently, and I think if I put my mind to it I can go through with it. I have two concerns when it comes to meetings, maybe you guys can answer them. Firstly it seems somewhat like aversion therapy to me; one feels the need to drink and one rushes to a meeting rather than facing the feelings head on. Secondly, it almost seems like replacing one addiction with another, albeit a less harmful one. Maybe I am way off base, and I should be more open minded, and I welcome any responses. On the other hand, maybe this board is a form of a meeting, and my foot is in my mouth, who knows, right?

tubesk

I've thought about that too...
I also know full-well that although most the time I do fine do-it-myselfing... that sometimes support is useful. I'd guess that not everyone who goes to AA becomes addicted to it, although I've been to meetings & met people who seemed to do so.
Do you believe that if you went to AA then you'd become an AA addict?
I don't agree with some of the steps in AA. I do know that I could use a bit of support from time to time. & I have a lot of proof both that generally I am independent to a fault... & capable of being so... & also how that independent streak can wreck havok in my life.
If you drank Sunday how likely do you think it'd be that you'd drink Monday too?

rugbyguy79

I am committed to not drinking after sunday, I am sort of viewing it like this; say you had a serious break up with your girlfriend on monday but it was her birthday party on sunday, you would still go to be nice, but you are not going to call her on monday. Make sense?

tubesk

*nods* lol I've done both the "hmm well I'll only x on Tuesday.... (but then who knows after that....)" & "I'll only x on Tuesday."
Was just curious which you were seeing it as *smiles*

CarolD

Hi and Welcome!

Glad to see you are planning to quit...
sobriety rocks!

I too am invited to a Super Bowl bash
an AA friend is the host.
No one will throw up or spill beer over me.
And I will be able to follow the game
and actually know the winner! *Grin*

AA is a great interesting and challenging
way of life. I do hope you will check it out.

Take care..

best

The thing I have found and many others... That one time can have me right back in full swing of my old ways very easy. I won't take the risk.

I did not go to meetings when I stopped but I did have a sponsor that was AA. Also happened to be my wife's uncle and my lawyer. When drinking, we had lots of meetings (and court dates).

I look at meetings as a library filled with talking books of information.
Meetings are a great source of ideas and solutions that help us understand and get past such things as.. the game is on Sunday...Now what?

If I can do it on my own but others are willing and able to help...Why work hard when I can work smart.
Just going to a meeting and getting The Big Book and reading is a great start, even if you never go back again. Sure is worth the few bucks for the book.

rugbyguy79

I am thinking this through, and running scenarios through my mind. Although I am going to reveal to my friends what I am undertaking and I know they will be supportive (I might drive for once), I feel that before their superbowl party would not be the time to unveil the topic, as it may make people feel uncomfortable. Also if I show up and am just not drinking, questions will be asked as that is fairly unheard of for me. Lastly if I do not show up, everyone will be pissed at me (I make some mean ribs) and ask questions anyway.

As for the meeting thing, I do think that I have a deepseated distrust of all things touchy-feely, which may lead to some of my aversions to meeting type situations. Yes I have a problem, yes I am confronting it, yes it is one of the hardest things I have had to do, but at no time have I felt the need to cry or hug anybody. Mabe this is a steryoptype I have picked up from TV and the movies, but is it too far off the mark?

best

Just for the record... Real men do cry.

I have found it took more courage to be real then it did trying to hide behind a tough guy image that TV puts out there.

Ever see a group of bikers meet up? A strong handshake...man to man and a strong man's hug of friendship.

tubesk

I'd guess crying & hugging are not part of the requirement... regardless of stereotypes. Why not try it & see?

nogard

ahyes superbowl I seee..... whats the superbowl?

Yep best they do.

I got sick One day at a time and I get well one day at a time.

Kevin

best

American version football. Same idea as the World Cup to all other countries *LOL*

rugbyguy79

Sorry I am coming across as callous, although I have come to terms with what I am going through/have to do, although I have acnowledged to people I have a problem, this is the first time letting people know that I am going to do something about it, and maybe being slightly obtuse is my way of dealing with the reality of what I am going through.

nogard

ah superbowl,a day of carnival and fun if I am not mistaken, and to enjoy the sport be with friends family and especially the children.

Kevin

best

No your coming across in the same manner most of us did.
New ground... we want answers before we move our feet.
Just so happens that what we think and what is reality don't line up most times and the only way we find the true answers is by doing.
Going to a pary and not drinking... I never would have thought of the experiences gained by doing such. Going to a meeting and finding acceptance and answer... I didn't think any one would have the answers like they did.

Keep asking the questions inside yourself but keep an open mind of what could be and you will find the answers.

best

*LOL*

Not in this house. Sober or not...some things didn't change *LOL*

Sit watch...keep your mouth shut...till the half time comercials *LOL*

Getoverit

Go to a meeting. Then to another, then another, then another........STOP with the "I think" part of "your" program. If you "think" you have a problem, you do......If you "want" to do something about it, you will. But b.s.ing yourself into thinking that you can "do it yourself" is foolish. "Supervomit Sunday" ahhhh, what a GREAT excuse to REALLY get trashed. Go watch the damn thing at an A.A. clubhouse. Surround yourself with sober people. "You ain't ready, until you're ready". You KNOW what to do - just do it!!!

parentrecovers

hello rugby, and welcome! my daughter (22) tried many times to control/limit/stop her drinking on her own and was not successful. she is over 120 days sober with the help of rehab, private counseling, aa, sober living arrangement. there's lots of support out there, so please ask for it.

there are superbowl parties all around different aa meetings in our area. i was at one of our local chapters for an alanon meeting early in the week and saw like 10 different flyers for parties. but we're in chicago, so it's pretty huge here? (understatement)

rugbyguy79

Thank you for all the replies, I value all of the feedback. It feels great to wake up again this morning with a clear head and actually have time to go to the gym and eat breakfast - I had forgotten about those things. I am still committed to trying this on my own, if it does not work I will persue other means, but I want to give it a try. Tonight will be my first litmus test - I am going out to eat and then the bars with my friends, and I have told myself that I am not going to drink. I am also not going to drive, so that removes that excuse; I am only not drinking because I am driving. I am fairly hard headed, and if I visualise how it is going to go, I know I can go through with it. I am sort of looking at this like getting into a cold ocean - is it better to ease in, back up a little bit, ease in more, have other people gradually push you in, run back to the beach and try again, OR just sack up and jump in! Anyway, I will let you know how it goes.

rugbyguy79

So, I tried my first night out, I did not pass with flying colors, but did not fall on my face (so to speak). During dinner, I only had water, and we went to a bar afterwards, and I ended up having two beers over the course of the first hour. After the second beer, I had very strong cravings to continue, so went outside and took some deep breaths, and thought about it, and only drank water for the rest of the night (as all my friends got plastered and we stayed until closing). I don't know if that can be considered a good night as I started the night with the intention not to drink anything, but on the other hand I did not get wasted, so... What do you guys think?

rugbyguy79

So tonight I went out with people from work, and told them before I went out that I am not drinking, and did not drink all night, which was quite difficult. Last night, just having the two beers made it much easier. But I have decided that I am going to go to the party tommorow and only drink two beers, call it an encounter with masochism, but whatever.