stillsearching

HI everyone,

First I want to say thank you to everyone here for the input and support. I am so glad I was led to this site. I have a question to ask and wonder if anyone else has had to deal with this.

I suspect that my husband is drinking at his fulltime job, he is in a job where decisions can be life or death decisions (law enforcement). If he is indeed doing this I am in the wondering if I should tell someone?? I would not do this unless I knew for SURE...but wonder if anyone else has had to handle a situation like this?

Thanks...

Cynay

Wow... that is a hard one.

My first thought was no, I would not because that is me manuplating the situation and controling, It will catch up with him without my help...

But then again being in law enforcement and having a gun.... scarry....

I just want you to know Im listening even though I dont have any experience with this. *hugs* to you.

lilac

Don't have any experience with this one.........just wanted you to know you are not alone.

MsPINKAcres

that is a really tough place to be - i never had to make that decision about letting my AH's work know about his drinking/using- but I did have to start setting boundaries about his driving with our daughters when they were younger.

Does he have a partner at work? do any of his co-workers know he has some problems? Maybe pray & seek guidance from your HP as to what is best in this situation - the people at work may already know - depends on how bad it is on the job - maybe don't make any excuses for him or try not to cover up any of his drinking. us stopping to do that usually is a good step.

hope that you are doing good things for you - attending al-anon meetings, reading literature, talking with fellow recovery friends & doing something nice for you.

wishing you peace & hope
Rita

denny57

I'd ask myself: why do I suspect this? Am I projecting this so I can tell someone and maybe that will get him sober? In other words, I'd examine my motives, because I was the queen of inventing drama to manipulate a situation.

Take care.

Pick-a-name

Fortunately, my AH was not in a life-death situation...but life-death altering because he was the producer and incharge of funds and running of his own business that employed about twenty people. He had a business partner. (I say had as they sold this business a few years ago (for several million dollars,so you understand my concern).

I know his partner and he is a wonderful man. I did tell him in confidence (just the bare facts) because I believed he deserved to know the truth so he could be aware of the facts of the situation,should it impact the business. In that situation, I felt an obligation to him to do that.

BTW; turns out his best friend is a recovering A and his advice to me was to go to AlAnon.

Good luck.
Some professions have internal help for their members with substance problems...I would hope law enforcement would be one.

dollydo

Well, it won't take long, someone else will turn him in....or it will process itself thru the grapevine...

This is a difficult one, I thought the same thing..how about expressing yourself to his partner...if he is doing this, his partner already knows....

HolyQow

I would hope that any job of importance involves random drug/alcohol testing.
That burden falls on the employer, not you.
JMO

StandingStrong

This is a very tough place to be. And I believe that in situations such as these, we have to do what we feel is the very best thing to do in the situation. Despite what others think, believe, or feel - you are the one that has to look yourself in the mirror everyday and live with the decisions that you make.
Whatever choice you make - make sure that it's one that you can live with peacefully. I wish you the very best of luck in this situation as it truly is a very tough place to be.