Hi
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Seattle Washington
Posts: 50
Hi
I tend to ramble at times. If you choose to read this then please bear with me as I attempt to word things as best I can atm.
If you're lucky I'll save mentioning the cats for my next post *smiles*
I'm new here.
I'm very new to admitting that alcohol is in my life more than I'd like it to be.
I feel out of place.
Not only do I have problems with alcohol. I also have mental health & physical diagnoses.
Often I feel that each group believes I more fully belong in another.
On less on-going occasions years ago I'd drink as a very blatant self-destructive behavior.
During that time I was also really working on 2 diagnoses & to get behaviors & all under control... life on-track... & all that.
Which was harder than hell. yet I managed.
More recently though there've been a lot of physical issues, which I've dealt with by drinking, a new mental health dx (involving a lot of past stuff which I'd just as soon keep avoiding)...
I know good & well that I've simply traded in other maladaptive behaviors for alcohol.
I do not self-injure anymore. I have a firm grasp on a lot more than I used to. I don't drink to oblivion. etc.
Yet I don't want to be this person.
I want to live. not avoid. It was not the intent for me to simply trade one thing for another.
Makes it all the more difficult when I'm told it's not really that much. Could be so much worse. Why not try x....
I feel very alone. & confused.
I want to change this. Very much so.
Yet I want to know I'll be listened to & cared about. Not seen as "less-than"
Posting is tough when it's an intro & so much starts with "I" *sheepish look*
If you're lucky I'll save mentioning the cats for my next post *smiles*
I'm new here.
I'm very new to admitting that alcohol is in my life more than I'd like it to be.
I feel out of place.
Not only do I have problems with alcohol. I also have mental health & physical diagnoses.
Often I feel that each group believes I more fully belong in another.
On less on-going occasions years ago I'd drink as a very blatant self-destructive behavior.
During that time I was also really working on 2 diagnoses & to get behaviors & all under control... life on-track... & all that.
Which was harder than hell. yet I managed.
More recently though there've been a lot of physical issues, which I've dealt with by drinking, a new mental health dx (involving a lot of past stuff which I'd just as soon keep avoiding)...
I know good & well that I've simply traded in other maladaptive behaviors for alcohol.
I do not self-injure anymore. I have a firm grasp on a lot more than I used to. I don't drink to oblivion. etc.
Yet I don't want to be this person.
I want to live. not avoid. It was not the intent for me to simply trade one thing for another.
Makes it all the more difficult when I'm told it's not really that much. Could be so much worse. Why not try x....
I feel very alone. & confused.
I want to change this. Very much so.
Yet I want to know I'll be listened to & cared about. Not seen as "less-than"
Posting is tough when it's an intro & so much starts with "I" *sheepish look*
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
tube you can feel that way... if you choose... feelings are just that... you really do not have to be alone... as far as the confusion... thats why were here... to maybe get a grip on it, and to have a better life...
ask, post, ramble... were here for you, and anyone that wants it...
all good wishes tube...
xxoo, rz
I feel very alone. & confused.
ask, post, ramble... were here for you, and anyone that wants it...
all good wishes tube...
xxoo, rz
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
welcome, tubesk and nice to meet you. isolation and lonliness is part of the disease. reach out to folks who care about you and to the professionals you trust for support. and keep posting! recovery is possible.
blessings, k
blessings, k
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