Lilygal

I moved to another state to be near my boyfriend. I have been here for one year now and I am six months pregnant. I know that he has a drinking problem and It seems to get worse as the days go by. He is so on edge and I feel like I can't express how I feel without him being on the defense. I want to make things work because we have a little one on the way, but I'm not sure I can take it anymore. He has admitted to having a problem, but I am not sure if he wants help. He thinks "cutting down" is the answer, but he just can't do that. His drinking is affecting his job, and I do not work. I just want him to take control and be more responsible for his actions. His moods are so unpredictable and he could be fine one minute and a complete jerk the next. I have suggested that he go to an AA meeting but he refuses. He thinks that it is "brainwashing." I want to be there for him because I really do love him with all my heart, but sometimes I just feel like giving up.Please help, I don't know where to go from here.

Josie

Hi 7131, and welcome,
I am the Mom of two addicts but there
will be others along who are dealing with
the exact same thing as you are.
Read the sticky posts at the top of the forum,
and get a copy of Codependent No More,
(my favorite), and have you been to any
AlAnon meetings? Your husband
will not get help until he's ready unfortun-
ately. But you can get help and live a more peaceful life.
Take care of yourself and keep coming back!

Hugs,

constant

7131, glad that you found us! There are lots of us here who have been through or are going through similar things. My husband also denies that he needs to QUIT, not "cut back" his drinking. Matter of fact I thought he invented the term "cut back." Anyway it is great that you love him and want to be there for him, but you need to get some help for yourself and coming here was a great start. I agree with Josie on the book!

Thought I would also throw in the fact that I have 3 kids and have been a stay at home mom until recently. (although the money couldn't begin support me and the kids, it helps me grow spiritually) I work until noon at a Christian Preschool 2 miles from my house and my youngest goes with me. I understand what it feels like to depend on someone who IS NOT responsible and not always thinking clearly.

Keep coming back and keep sharing, it REALLY helps!
Constant

lyn_blossom78

7131:

You have found a good place to be--here! My advice is to read all the "stickies" at the top of this alanon forum. They have a wealth of information. Keep coming back.

Hugs,
Lyn

Lilygal

I want to thank Josie, constant, and lynblossom for your replies. I went to the library and got a copy of that book. I am about 1/2 way through it. Thanks for the suggestion and I am finding it very useful. I have not been to any alanon meetings yet, but I think it's something I need to do. Thanks again.
7131

Hangin' In

7131,

Let me add my welcome to the rest of them here. I'm glad you are reaching out and thinking about your situation.

Keep reading here because there are lots of women who have been down the same road you are on and they have lots of wisdom.

Also, I really would recommend you trying to find an Al Anon meeting to attend. You will find very supportive people there, also, who are in the same boat or are in a similar boat to your's.
Just knowing you are not alone in this is such a comfort.

We're here for you, so keep reading and posting. We are all in this together.

Love,
Hangin' In