lostmdboy

Really do not know where to start, but my wife knows that I am really trying to quit drinking. Some times though it seems she is trying to drag me back "in". To me she does not have a drinking problem, but she had a bottle of Vodka that I had told her to get rid of. She said she would, but she never did. Saturday I poured it down the sink, because it was just to tempting. Yesterday she relized it, and came asking me about it like I had drank it. Then started in on me accusing me of coming home with a brown bag. Which I had not. ( i do not even know where that came from) I just do not know. I started my recovery for me. I made up MY mind to do it for me. Everything else good that comes from me being sober is just icing on the cake. I just do not feel her nagging is going to help. It may even have the opposite effect, and give my sick mind another weapon. (I will show her) What can I say or do? I really do feel that she was my #1 enabler.Even though she complained about my drinking she always made it easy for me to sneak around, and do it. Some times I think it would be easier to do this on my own.

Anna

I think you should focus on yourself and your recovery. What your wife does should not be the gauge as to whether you drink or not. You could express that you would rather not have alcohol in the house, but if she disagrees with that, it is her choice. After all, it is her house too. Hopefully she will be supportive, but whether or not she is, you can stop drinking.

CarolD

Welcome to SR!

I don't know how long you have been sober..
but I can tell you that it takes time
for others to trust us again.

Perhaps marriage counseling is a wise idea?

I find much support and understanding in
AA no matter what problems I am having.

Blessings to both of you

parentrecovers

hello lost,

you are going to aa? if so, you are setting a good example for your wife to join alanon? i guess that's about all i can suggest. good luck in your recovery! blessings, k

fivealive

Hey, I know exactly where you are coming from. I made the decision to give up for myself after years of heavy drinking with my husband who himself is a heavy drinker but he refuses to give up so I made MY decision and have asked him to be supportive of me, I only made this decision early yesterday morning and last night when he was sitting there with his wine I did feel like he was being disloyal but then when I sat and really thought about it this was My decision and not his, and after all this is his home too. Stick to your belief and focus on other good things of the marriage and Good Luck.

lostmdboy

I need to be going to AA, but I live in a small town. There are just not that many oppertunities. Right now this board is my AA. I am doing some positive things though. I am coaching my oldest sons B-ball team (something I could not have done while drinking), and having a graat time with the kids. This takes a lot of my time. I have looked up meeting times, i guess it may be an excuse not to go, but I just do not have the time right now.

Time2Surrender

You found the time to drink didnt you?

lostmdboy

You know you are exactly right. I quess the hardest part of the thought is admitting to the wife that all the lies that I have told her ( I do not have a problem) where just that lies.

lostmdboy

PS I loked it up and there is a meeting at 8 tonight. I have been to AA meetings before, but not in like 7 years, so please lift a thought upwards for me. I will need it.

fivealive

Good Luck for tonight, my thoughts are with you.

GlassPrisoner

Good Luck lostmdboy. I found AA supportive and welcoming, and without it I probably wouldn't be sober. God knows, I tried enough times on my own.

I used to feel my (then) wife was the cause of my drinking. I even had friends and family believing it. I was wrong.

God Bless