Not so sassy now
Becoming a Butterfly
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 904
Not so sassy now
I've been posting a lot these past couple weeks. I've posted lots of really strong stuff about how I took my life back and all that. Of course I see ex-AH tonight and it made me so sad.
He still looks ok, but he looks so much older than he used to. We had a nice conversation and it reminded me of the old days. He was here to pick up some mail. Lots of bad looking notices. The man makes well into six figures and he's broke. That makes me sad too. I asked him about his drinking. He just kind of said it was "ok". That made me sadder. I guess I secretly hoped he'd be so shocked by the divorce that he'd get all better but that isn't happening. I have to face the fact that it really isn't going to happen, at least not anytime soon. Even typing that makes me want to vomit.
Another thing that has been going on is a man I like told me he's not interested in dating me. He said it's because he would like to get married in the next couple of years and have a family. I know in my heart I'm done having children and he knows me well too so he knows that. Being so rational about these things makes me ... guess what? SAD. I try not to think about him but it's hard with all this time on my hands.
I wish someone would call me for an interview already. I send out resumes every day and I don't hear back. I know the resume is good because I've had two professionals look it over. Before people told me it was because of the holidays. Now it's supposedly because companies are just getting their budgets set and starting to hire. Whatever. I just want to get back to work and make money again. It's so frustrating.
I've been trying to stay busy - I painted my bedroom, I clean, I bake, I read. I'm low on money, not dangerously so but I have to be careful, so I'm limited in what I can do for entertainment. I've been sleeping weird hours. I'm giddy for part of the day, mellow for part of it, and sometimes nearly weepy like now. I just needed to tell someone. Thanks for reading.
He still looks ok, but he looks so much older than he used to. We had a nice conversation and it reminded me of the old days. He was here to pick up some mail. Lots of bad looking notices. The man makes well into six figures and he's broke. That makes me sad too. I asked him about his drinking. He just kind of said it was "ok". That made me sadder. I guess I secretly hoped he'd be so shocked by the divorce that he'd get all better but that isn't happening. I have to face the fact that it really isn't going to happen, at least not anytime soon. Even typing that makes me want to vomit.
Another thing that has been going on is a man I like told me he's not interested in dating me. He said it's because he would like to get married in the next couple of years and have a family. I know in my heart I'm done having children and he knows me well too so he knows that. Being so rational about these things makes me ... guess what? SAD. I try not to think about him but it's hard with all this time on my hands.
I wish someone would call me for an interview already. I send out resumes every day and I don't hear back. I know the resume is good because I've had two professionals look it over. Before people told me it was because of the holidays. Now it's supposedly because companies are just getting their budgets set and starting to hire. Whatever. I just want to get back to work and make money again. It's so frustrating.
I've been trying to stay busy - I painted my bedroom, I clean, I bake, I read. I'm low on money, not dangerously so but I have to be careful, so I'm limited in what I can do for entertainment. I've been sleeping weird hours. I'm giddy for part of the day, mellow for part of it, and sometimes nearly weepy like now. I just needed to tell someone. Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: By the sea
Posts: 415
Sweetie, it sounds like you are healing. A tender time of life indeed.
Wow - so impressed with you how you held your ground about what your goals are in the future with the guy you like. That's healthy with a capitol H.
I think the sadness is just unavoidable for a while. I know things will be brighter for you soon. It's always darkest before dawn, as they say.
Wow - so impressed with you how you held your ground about what your goals are in the future with the guy you like. That's healthy with a capitol H.
I think the sadness is just unavoidable for a while. I know things will be brighter for you soon. It's always darkest before dawn, as they say.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Have a 
WantsOut, I've been there. I know that empty, lonely feeling when the whole worlds seems out to make me feel worthless and un-lovable. I went thru months of being unable to find a job shortly after I left my ex, it was awful.
As far as the hiring sitch, it's bad out here in the left coast too. I've got friends that are very qualified and having a heck of a time finding a job. I've taken a "in-between" job that doesn't quite pay my expenses, but at least it gives me more time to find a better one. It's a little harder for me to find work in the first place cuz I have health issues, but even without that it's rough out there.
Know that we all love you here, and we didn't give you no excuses when you first "applied" here on SR. In the rooms of recovery you are always welcomed and appreciated
Mike
WantsOut, I've been there. I know that empty, lonely feeling when the whole worlds seems out to make me feel worthless and un-lovable. I went thru months of being unable to find a job shortly after I left my ex, it was awful. As far as the hiring sitch, it's bad out here in the left coast too. I've got friends that are very qualified and having a heck of a time finding a job. I've taken a "in-between" job that doesn't quite pay my expenses, but at least it gives me more time to find a better one. It's a little harder for me to find work in the first place cuz I have health issues, but even without that it's rough out there.
Know that we all love you here, and we didn't give you no excuses when you first "applied" here on SR. In the rooms of recovery you are always welcomed and appreciated
Mike
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
wish someone would call me for an interview already. I send out resumes every day and I don't hear back. I know the resume is good because I've had two professionals look it over. Before people told me it was because of the holidays. Now it's supposedly because companies are just getting their budgets set and starting to hire. Whatever. I just want to get back to work and make money again. It's so frustrating.
I've been trying to stay busy - I painted my bedroom, I clean, I bake, I read. I'm low on money, not dangerously so but I have to be careful, so I'm limited in what I can do for entertainment. I've been sleeping weird hours. I'm giddy for part of the day, mellow for part of it, and sometimes nearly weepy like now. I just needed to tell someone. Thanks for reading.
I've been trying to stay busy - I painted my bedroom, I clean, I bake, I read. I'm low on money, not dangerously so but I have to be careful, so I'm limited in what I can do for entertainment. I've been sleeping weird hours. I'm giddy for part of the day, mellow for part of it, and sometimes nearly weepy like now. I just needed to tell someone. Thanks for reading.
About the job sitch. Somone said to me in a meeting tonight "Maybe you're not ready to go back out there". Made me think.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
I have to agree with your friend, for many compaines, the new budget isn't even out yet. Mine is not, should be out this week.
Then there is the process of sifting through them all, it takes time. I wouldn't be discouraged, there is a job out there just for you.
Have you posted your resume on Monster.Com? We use that service to post our jobs, and have hired many a good employee that way...in fact that's how the company I work for hired their best employee ever....me...just kidding!
Keep busy, it will come.
Hugs,
Dolly
Then there is the process of sifting through them all, it takes time. I wouldn't be discouraged, there is a job out there just for you.
Have you posted your resume on Monster.Com? We use that service to post our jobs, and have hired many a good employee that way...in fact that's how the company I work for hired their best employee ever....me...just kidding!
Keep busy, it will come.
Hugs,
Dolly
Becoming a Butterfly
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 904
Hi Dolly- yep, I've got it up on monster and hotjobs and craigslist. I check all three each day (that's the best place to look for my field). I hope something happens very soon.
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