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detoxing off oxy's at home

Old 01-15-2007, 07:59 PM
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Question detoxing off oxy's at home

im new to this i found it 2 nights ago while i was struggling with my withdrawls

I'll start off by telling my story. IM 31 mother of 3 i just lost my fiance in aug. of 06 we were together for 15 years we've been doing pills together 9 years off and on . we moved from our home state of west virgina *where oxy's got the name hillybilly heroin probably* to ohio to get away from the pills and people assocaited to them. We went from 2000- 2003 clean. in 2003 we met some people who dealt in pills and we started doing them recreationally agian.
my b/f injuried his back in the oil fields and the doctors put him on oxy's perks . Not long after that it was on full blown agian for both of us . he stopped his drinking when he was put on the oxy's .after 3 years on aug 12 he was out of his oxy's because we both abused them greatly. We got into a fight because he was withdrawling so we found some vikes and he started drinking . he drank all day then left angry and went to the bar and never made it home. He has left 2 boys a girl and me with an awfull addiction that i want and trying to get rid of. He died in aug. a month later in sept a good freind of mine who i did alot of oxy's with died because of them in a car wreck with her 1 year old daughtter in the back seat . thank god she was with out a scratch. Ive lost alot of my schoolmates and freinds from back home over the last 10 years and allmost all of them have been pill related,to oxy's methodone ,xanax.
today is my 10th day clean cold turkey ive been fighting this on and off for 10 years.the last 3 months ive went from 40 mg a day pluss vikes perks. tried to go cold turkey but ended up useing darvasets 1 a day to help with the withdrawls but kept going back to the oxy's because they just seem to fall in my lap i turn around and freinds are giveing me them or talking them up to me and i just cant get away from them when there in my face or in my head. theres one person inperticular who will not leave me alone about them he is the guy i got most of my pills from he calls allmost everyday even if i dont answer his calls the number reminds me , i see his car it reminds me some one even says his name it reminds me of the pill and i cant get it out of my head, even when i dont break down and do anything it makes me angry and irratable for most of the rest of the day.
today is the 10th day clean cold turkey im starting to feel better but it is still really intense. ive been going to drug addiction class 1 night aweek with a freind of the last 5 years . we have developed into a relationship,he has been a really big help,tho he seems to be to protective over me when it comes to the pills he tries to keep me from leaveing the house when im haveing a bad day or afraid of people i may go see.he screens my calls , he makes me so mad at times cause i cant get high with out him knowing it or even think about getting high cause he senses it. he has stopped me many times early in my recovery from takeing a pill he itercepts it. its like he reads my mind and boy does it **** me off , but i calm down and i know he did what was right i was just trippin over the pill. i,ve lied to him and snuck around so many times that now my 10th day clean he still asks me if ive done something. he says it because im acting high or manly cause some one comes to visit that he know uses or i have used with before and doesnt fell like the house is clean that somthing may have been snuck in. so he checks my pockets the house the car the mail box mainly because i have snuck in a pill that way early in my failed attempts to be clean .
So to my questions 10 days clean im still haveing withdrawls cramping acheing cold chills fatigue,irratability, depression, stress. i have been takeing calonipan when i need it for my nerves and sleep but nothinging else.

HOW LONG TILL I FEEL NORMAL AGIAN, WILL I EVER FEEL NORMAL AGIAN?
Help going crazy i think.

"People do not change until the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of the change" not sure who wrote it but i read it and it stuck.
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Old 01-15-2007, 09:40 PM
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Welcome aboard, denise75! We're glad you're here. You might want to check out the Substance Abuse & Narcotics forums.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse/
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-step-support/
 
Old 01-15-2007, 09:56 PM
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New to this.

Hi denise

Really sorry to hear about your suffering. Please go to Narcotics Anonoymous.
It should be in the phone book. You will get the help you need. Should go into detox. They will bring you off of the pills. It is free. Message me if you would like to talk. I have been sober eighteen years.
God Bless.
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Old 01-16-2007, 07:03 AM
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Hi Denise,

Welcome to SR!

Midas has given you great links and I hope you keep reading and posting. There is lots of support and you can get through this.
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Old 01-16-2007, 09:26 AM
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First I would like to tell the the worst is over, physically ............ but..... I remember my first attempt to detox from "Hillbilly herion" at home I made it 8 days and gave up and sent my girl out to cop for me as I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER FEEL NORMAL AGAIN, on my 2nd attempt I suffered through 2 weeks of pain and knowing that i could feel better if i just gave up and copped but i did not and that was 4/1/06 (Appropiately enough Aprils Fools Day) and i haven't used opiates since, thank God, and It does get better, and is worth the wait, but it gets better slowly and it is really great not to have to chase that damn dragon anymore. I don't miss those days where my whole life revolved around either getting or doing drugs. Please do yourself a favor and talk to people online or better yet get to an AA or NA meeting, there is solace in talking to people who have been there and know your pain. Please please whatever you do just don't pick up, it never really gets easy not to use but it does get easier. Our addict minds just remember the the first time we did the opiates and felt like we found the "magic bullet" for all our problems. We conveniently forget all the times we were broke, sick and prayed for death. Keep your head up and talk to people, there are many many of us out there struggling every day to stay sober, but it is definitely worth the struggle. Good Luck and god bless.


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